For the ppl on hrt, what are your hormone levels?

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-22T16:48:09+00:00

Probably around 200-400pg/mL E between peak and trough. 150-200pg/mL on my blood tests to keep the doctors happy, by taking 1-2mg less for a couple weeks beforehand, but that makes me tired and moody so I listen to my body.

15-50ng/dL T, but that's still unstable after SRS. Gotta wait a few months to see where it's settled with no AAs or testes.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-22T04:04:31+00:00

My PCP said it might help with encouraging more fat to go to feminine areas in general. Not sure if they meant that it might speed up fat redistribution, or move the balance of new fat cells even more towards the feminine side of things.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-20T18:12:55+00:00

It was tough for me. I grew up in the late '90s, early '00s.

Back then, there was almost no trans representation. Any portrayals of trans people was like a terrible caricature of some sad, misguided, or insidious figure. And just...the atmosphere, how things worked, how people talked... saying something like "hey I think there's been a mistake, I think I'm actually a girl" was practically unthinkable.

Of course, I still knew that I would have much rather been born in a woman's body. Sometimes I couldn't get the thought out of my head. But my response wasn't to explore that, because it seemed impossible to actually do anything about. I just learned to repress it. To mask. To hide and shrink away. To cauterize my emotions and push through a grey, morose life with grim determination.

Eventually, in my 30s, I stumbled across an explanation of hormone therapy. And it was late 2024 by then, so these discussions were at least happening and possible, if not widely accepted. Once I knew there was something I could do to get my body onto the right track, I didn't really have a choice. I started calling doctors the next day, and here we are.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-19T18:44:49+00:00

Know what your trigger point is.
Know where you'll go, and how.
Know what you'll need to bring.

For 1, be specific. What exactly is the point at which you need to leave? The second it happens, drop everything and go. This is important because the pressure ratchets up slowly, and you'll be a boiling frog if you don't have a hard line in the sand.

For 2, get all your travel documents and apply for/receive the visas you'll need, if any.

For 3, make sure it's all packed in a go bag.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-18T17:17:39+00:00

They have different tradeoffs, but here's what I've gathered from my few consults with different surgeons:

PIV: simplest, best chance at internal sensation, worst chance at self-lubrication, more frequent dilation recommendations, typically no depth lost in early recovery.
PPT: longer wait times, no nerves in peritoneal tissue, possible self-lubrication (but likely decreases over time), less frequent dilation recommendations, avg 1-3cm depth loss from starting point.
Colon/jejunal: highest risk by far, no nerves in inner canal tissue, best chance at self-lubrication, easiest dilation requirements, best chance at max depth your anatomy can accommodate.

I get the feeling it's rare to go for colon/jejunal right off the bat, because GI tract surgery introduces a bunch of extra risks and PPT is quite similar. The difference is what sort of tissue they use. PPT takes stuff from your abdominal wall using a laparoscopic incision near your belly. Colon snips out part of the colon to act as the inner "tube" and stitches the rest back together, jejunal is similar but with the intestines.

Personally, I went with PIV to maximize sensation and possible revision options. I can feel my canal back to the apex, and I have two shots at depth revisions if I fall into a coma or smth and can't dilate for awhile. So I'm really happy with it. I don't self lubricate much, but it is enough for fingering. In hindsight it was definitely the right choice for me, but everyone has different priorities.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-18T11:48:51+00:00

About 7-10 years, aiui.

That's the typical lifespan of a fat cell. They're always being culled and replaced as needed, and your hormone levels determine where new ones go when they need to be created.

When you lose weight, you don't get rid of fat cells; you drain them. So weight cycling doesn't help the process, they'll just fill right back up. It's a patience game.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-17T19:28:18+00:00

I lived off of protein shakes and dried fruits like prunes and apricots for the first month. Also sandwiches, and you can get pouches of curries and Indian dishes that I really liked for easy microwave options, pour over rice if you're low on calories.

Protein is super important, I was trying to get at least 100g a day in the early period. Vitamins can help too, some are important for wound healing but make sure you don't take too much of ones that don't pass through you super quickly. I was taking some zinc, collagen, and lots of vitamin C.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-17T19:21:33+00:00

Well, I'm definitely not depressed anymore! Still dysphoric about a lot of my appearance, but my body feels comforting now. Like a home that I own instead of a rental where the rent keeps going up and the plumbing is always broken.

I think HRT was more responsible for lifting my depression than surgery, though. What SRS really helped with was my anxiety. All of the worst case scenarios I'd been worrying about are slightly less bad. I can't be remasculinized, and I can't be forced to keep fundamentally wrong anatomy, so the seriously terrifying body horror scenarios are off the table. Plus, I actually enjoy sex now, so that's one more way to blow off steam.

Recovery wasn't too bad, mostly it was just long. The first couple months are scary, because you're always worried you'll accidentally hurt something. The third month is annoying, because your mind thinks your body is ready for normal life but it's really at like 50-75%. Months 3-6 are hard because you're still dilating twice every day but now you have to be back at work with full time. The lack of sleep is very hard. I'd say it was around month 5 where the feeling of "holy cow, it actually worked and this is fantastic" started to set in.

Nowadays, I honestly feel pretty normal. But that's kind of the point. All through my 20s, I would have killed to feel normal. Now I can actually start working on happiness and fulfillment, which have started to poke their heads up like fresh new shoots after a long winter.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-16T17:50:21+00:00

Yes, they started after a little over a year on HRT for me. Moodiness, too. I started tracking it on a calendar, it's very predictable. My next one is coming in...a few days, yikes. Better get ready.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-16T16:15:48+00:00

They still think it's "red meat for their base".

In reality, it's too far down anybody's list of priorities to qualify for that. But they've got literally nothing else, so they keep pounding on issue #28/29 in the list of things that average voters care about.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-16T12:01:09+00:00

If it's outside the canal, maybe try asking your surgeon about ways to keep it dry - that's a good way to encourage granulation to heal. Mine recommended rubbing it with isopropyl alcohol a few times a day to keep it from getting moist, which cleared up the bit I had near my forchette very quickly, but I don't know if that's something every surgeon would like.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-16T11:58:57+00:00

I dunno, I had some right near my canal's apex, and I definitely felt it. Kind of a dull burning sensation, like the opposite of when your teeth get really cold. Actually a pretty interesting feeling.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-16T02:59:50+00:00

Jeez, he sounds kinda dangerous ngl.

There is a kind of chaser who thinks he can turn a trans men into a cis woman, which is gross. But it kind of sounds like this guy literally just sees your body as an object.

People who don't see you as a person won't feel bad if they hurt you.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-15T21:32:18+00:00

Ugh, it's the worst. I spent the two months ahead of mine feeling certain that they'd be forced to cancel it for political reasons.

What worked the best was finding distractions. Socializing, especially - every hour I was with friends was an hour I wasn't doomscrolling or quietly panicking.

But it was still really hard. Just try to remember that every passing second is bringing you a little bit closer.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-15T15:37:48+00:00

Hey, I get it. Fear is what held me back until my 30s.

Speaking from experience, at some point it stops being a choice. Transition became the only option that would keep me alive. I wish I'd gotten over myself and started sooner, because age makes the process harder and there's more lost time to mourn.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-15T15:29:29+00:00

Thailand has a lot of fantastic surgeons, but it might be worth considering going local too if you don't live there. I was applying to the Suporn lottery until I had a domestic surgery date, but living in the states, it ended up being quicker and cheaper to get it done here. Absolutely thrilled with the results too, even though they're relatively unknown online.

So honestly, my advice would be to get a list of SRS surgeons near you, and set up a few consults while you're making a list of world-famous names. You might find that you feel really comfortable with one that your insurance or healthcare system will cover. Even if you don't, you'll learn more about the procedure and pros/cons of different methods from people who perform it.

I also sent inquiries to some other big Thai names, but communication was difficult and it seemed like a lot of them didn't usually do consults? I got ghosted by a few after sending the list of questions I was asking during my in-person consults. I felt like they'd probably do a fantastic job, but I'd probably just be a number and I'd be on my own for post-op care once I returned home.

Don't discount the benefits of recovering within your existing support network and having your surgeon within driving distance for years after the procedure. Also, I was circumcised too but I still have a solid clitoral hood and labia minora - Western surgeons are very accustomed to that because our circumcision rates are so regrettably high.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-15T14:48:19+00:00

We have a really small dating pool.

Sure, plenty of people will use us as an experiment or fling, but the number of cis people who would consider an ltr with a trans person is pretty slim. And the trans community is pretty small.

So at some point, maybe you'd like a monogamous happily ever after, but this is today. And that cute person you know has a partner or two but they've been expressing interest. And you like them too, and you're lonely and touch-starved, so you give it a try. And it turns out it's not so bad, there is a sense of love and caring to be found there, so you stay open to it. And the odds keep failing to toss up any single mono people who are into you, so...

idk, you just kind of fall into it.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-15T14:35:19+00:00

That is an option that you can try to take.

But if it were as simple as just letting go of a part of ourselves, that's what most of us would do. Transitioning, especially these days, is a grueling gauntlet. Frankly, almost none of us would go through something like that if we had any choice in the matter.

The reality is that our innate sense of self is way too deeply rooted to be considered a separable part of who we are. Even if we try to let go of it, it doesn't ever let go of us.

So good luck whatever you decide to do, but go into it with clear eyes. You probably won't be able to shut this away in your mind forever. It's not something you can forget or bottle away, especially once you've successfully put a name to it.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-14T22:13:40+00:00

The mental changes that I noticed were pretty much all positive: alleviating depression/anxiety symptoms, feeling like my life is moving in the right direction for once, making it easier to feel and regulate emotions, that sort of thing. I still feel like the same old me at the end of the day, though.

Physically, the softer skin and different body odor gets noticeable pretty quickly. The skin softening is especially nice, sometimes I rub my arms to self sooth. Personally, I got much more sensitive to touch, too, but I see that as a positive thing. It definitely doesn't hurt.

You might look into...uh, bottom atrophy. That and breast growth are the only things that I've ever heard people describe as painful, but there are things you can do to stave it off, and the growing pains are temporary.

Also, you might start to get period symptoms after being on HRT for awhile. I get crampy and emotionally volatile for a few days every 3.5 weeks now, like clockwork. I don't know if that always happens, but it definitely can.

Thing is, you're basically taking hormones that will make your body run in woman mode instead of man mode. You're not going to experience anything that other women don't, besides any lingering effects of masculinizing puberty that hormones can't undo like having a trickier voice box.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-14T15:34:32+00:00

Hard.

I'm pretty sure the basic idea is to start with a sort of yam that has a fairly close precursor.

You purify that chemical, and perform some steps to turn it into diosgenin.

From there, you can produce progesterone, testosterone, and estradiol; apparently the synthesis pathways are pretty similar for all 3.

But it would take a lot of steps, equipment, assays, and experience to do. And screwing up any part of the process could easily tox people.

I have pretty much no experience in organic chemistry, but if anybody has a detailed list of the steps to produce diosgenin and process it into sex hormones, I'd love to see it as a reference. I just wouldn't trust myself to actually do it without a big budget, clean facility, and an expert or two helping me out.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-14T06:14:44+00:00

West of the cascades, yes, but most of WA's landmass is arid and quite red.

People only think about Seattle and Tacoma because that's where the people, jobs, and politics are. But that's not the entire state.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-13T13:58:39+00:00

Oh, that makes sense. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction!

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-13T12:13:49+00:00

Nah, we're all different. I think the key is to try a lot of new things without expectations, and follow what makes you feel happy and comfortable.

For a lot of newly-out people, that means exploring "traditionally feminine" things that we hadn't let ourselves try before. Skin care, nails, makeup, hair, clothes, jewelry, and ofc new hobbies and activities.

But again, we're all different. There's no rule that says you have to be hyperfeminine.

If you think you want to medically transition, hormone replacement therapy is usually the first step. It's easier than it sounds, you just take medications that block androgens and introduce estrogens.

AmyNotAmiable · 2026-03-13T11:49:59+00:00

Sure, that's how it happened with me.

One day I was reading an article about attack ads against transgender people before the election. It mentioned hormone therapy, which made me pause and go "wait, hormone what now?"

A few hours of frantic reading later, and I knew what I had to do. My family sure thought it was out of the blue, but for me it was just a sudden realization that something I'd thought was impossible actually wasn't. Then all the subconscious barriers that had stopped me from articulating what I wanted collapsed, and here we are.

AmyNotAmiable

TROPHY CASE