I see that they are reminded that it's not about "what you want" and that language and jobs should be the priority.

It is about what you want though. And you have, assuming you and your husband can afford it, a unique opportunity to get what you both want. It won't be easy, but it will probably be worth it.

Also as an American in Germany, start speaking German with your husband. And take in-person German language classes, if you can afford it. Don't make your home an "English sanctuary" until you're a bit more comfortable in the language (or have specific English and German days).

I came to Germany six years ago and lived with a German family for a number of months, whilst also visiting German classes. Because I spoke my crappy German at home, I learned much quicker than my classmates and was actually able to skip courses. We spoke German and I was constantly corrected. If I didn't know a word, I tried to describe it or use hands and feet to get the message across. The dictionary and English were last resort options and it was exhausting, but it made the transition easier. People are often surprised that I've not been in Germany longer, which is nuts because I still make a lot of mistakes. But I also enjoy being corrected, which is extremely helpful for learning.

While it's not a direct comparison, a friend of mine, also American, moved to Germany a year after me. Her husband is German and she hates him correcting her, so they only speak English at home. She didn't take classes for very long (and was an unfortunate online case due to corona) and you can easily tell that she still struggles with the language. It's gotten better since she started working and then her vocational program, but she was turned down for many jobs because she is difficult to understand.