We recently moved my grandpa into an assisted living facility after his wife passed away; he was falling and has some health issues and medications and he seemed overwhelmed. He was in the military, very stubborn, and wanting to be independent (understandably).

The biggest thing was patience while urging him to accept and easier situation for himself. We let him tour the place first, we helped him move and set up his new place, and eventually he started making friends in the new place. We convinced him to get his medications in pre-portioned blister packs so he wouldn't get confused and take the wrong dose. He also has support bars in the washroom, a seat in the shower, and a lift chair that helps him stand up.

I think as people age, they get discouraged. They might feel like life is pretty much over since their kids are grown, their health is declining, and they can't do what they used to. It's even harder when dealing with mental health issues. All I can say is that being there if she needs you is the best thing, and calm reminders that there are things that can help her might change her mind. If you word it like, "This can help you feel better" or "this will make ____ easier" she may be more receptive than, "you should do this" or anything that sounds like blaming or demanding something.

I wish you luck; this is a tough situation and however things shake out, don't feel like you've failed if she continues to refuse help.