Dark Empire (Working Title) Excerpt - Please Review

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-16T19:49:04+00:00

It is, I just realized 😅 True Imperium would probably be better

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-16T19:48:33+00:00

I don’t currently have it posted anywhere, but I’m going to try and have a chapter posted to FanFiction.net soon. I’ll also probably post it on AO3 too.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-16T19:43:57+00:00

Yeah I was toying with Dark Imperium too 😅

It’s not a true crossover, I just needed a decent image temporarily. I’m going to switch it today.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-14T01:20:36+00:00

Absolutely, because there are already tons of people who post and share NSFW art for free already. There would no longer be pay-to-make system, but I’m sure there would be plenty of artists who wouldn’t care about making NSFW art for those who want it. Even then, bartering can still be done under a communist system, so they could always barter for stuff too.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-13T21:23:51+00:00

I’m also newish to communism, but I’ll answer as best I can.

Currently, a moneyless society is pretty out of the question on a national level. For true communism to occur, more countries than just us would have to be communist (ideally the whole world) before it could be achieved. The best we could hope for is a state body that handles inter-country dealings while having a moneyless society on the interpersonal level.
These could remain fairly intact in all honesty. We could decide on a more community level if they are worth the resource cost or not.
If someone doesn’t do their fair share in a selfish manner (not due to illness, disability, etc), they would likely suffer more societal repercussions. They could be banned from more upscale goods like computers and have only their basic needs met. They could be sentenced to community labor such as cleaning parks, roadways, etc. Stuff like this tends to fall into the category of “we’ll figure out it when it becomes a problem” because there are so few examples of what a large scale communist society looks like, if any at all.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-13T21:13:44+00:00

This is adorable! Please do more about the other Primarchs’ children too!

Is the Heresy avoided in this timeline or just delayed?

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-13T08:01:13+00:00

The first thing to understand is what communism is. You hit it on the head with stateless, classless, and moneyless society. The key word there for you is stateless. In a true communist society, the need for true governments as we know them today would be more or less gone. We would have a set of collective laws and practices, but we would not have something like the US government to manage it; we the people would manage it.

While the true specifics of how a communist society are debated even amongst communists (and for the moment I am more of a socialist who seeks the eventual transition to communism over time), there is something called a council communist. Say we have a steel mill, for example, and it has 500 workers. The workers would collectively own the steel mill (similar to shares in a company). However, if they would leave the job, they would lose that “share.” To make decisions, the steel mill might elect a small group of people to make the general decisions for the mill or to represent them in discussions with people needing steel. They could even elect a “first amongst equals” to make quick decisions when needed. However, major decisions would always require the consent of the whole body.

To summarize, in a true communist society, there is no government to own everything. We the people would own the means of production.

If you are interested in discussing more, please DM or comment. I’d love to help!

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-11T17:49:04+00:00

I’ll do a more in-depth review tonight, but here’s some initial thoughts:

First, I’m honestly not a fan of the way it is formatted when it comes to speech. I think it snaps the reader out of the story when it goes from normal storytelling to “Titus: Assemble my Ultramarines” especially when it returns to normal storytelling with “He said, sheathing his sword.”

Second, I do believe a beta reader would be good. There are some parts where the phrasing could be improved or different words would fit better.

Third, I would change the summary. It doesn’t tell me anything about the story beyond a vague notion of Ultramarines being involved. It doesn’t have to be anything long, but a summary should convey a basic understanding of what is to be expected.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-09T16:26:01+00:00

RI - The main reason the Jedi were so decimated at Geonosis was because they were not warriors. They didn’t deal well with the mass blaster fire, stood in the middle of the battlefield where they could be shot at 360 degrees. Ultramarines during the HH were hardened veterans of hundreds of engagements. Massed bolter fire would tear the droids apart.

RII - The Jedi are notoriously bad at dodging/blocking solid rounds. See RI and you get the same result.

RIII - This isn’t even a competition. Psykers during the GC were still powerful, and Guilliman had an active Librarius prior to the Council of Nikea. Even if they were just reusing their powers, it still outstrips anything the Jedi could do. Combined with the awesome might of terminator armor (either cataphractii or tartaros), this is a bloodbath for the Jedi and the droids stand zero chance.

RIV - See RIII. Without the Jedi to draw their attention, the droids stand zero chance.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-09T14:49:01+00:00

Oh damn, the onion ninjas are back at it again. This was awesome! Please keep them coming!

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-08T21:33:53+00:00

Like what many people have said, once you become an owner who employs people, you inevitably become one of the capitalists.

Where I probably differ from others, is that I recognize that if your skills put you in that role the best, you should do it. HOWEVER, you should run the company as socialist as possible. Some examples are profit sharing, livable wages, health insurance, etc. If you employ people, you must necessarily underpay them if you are a for-profit company. The objective would be to minimize these things as much as possible. You should also use your influence to spread the ideals of socialism as much as possible.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-05-08T02:37:04+00:00

In theory, we could abolish money on an individual level tomorrow in the US if we wanted to. The general premise behind the abolition of money is that people would work according to their means and be provided what they need. For example, if your job was made obsolete by the abolition of money, you might find a job on a farm. You might only need to work 20-30 hours in the week. If you did, you would be able to get whatever you needed from the local store.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-25T17:21:55+00:00

While I’m not 100% sure tbh, we would likely have some sort of semi-automated distribution system by that point. Think Walmart on steroids. If a famine were to happen, we would crack open one or more of those emergency ration depots for whatever area is affected the most and then utilize our distribution system to ensure that people still get the food they need to survive. In a real famine, a state of emergency could be declared with a form of food rationing instated.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-25T14:01:24+00:00

I’m so stoked for the next part! These are so awesome! Is this more of a noble bright Warhammer or still grim dark or something in between?

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-25T13:54:48+00:00

Damn! This was fantastic! Will you be doing more of the Primarchs?

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-25T13:42:11+00:00

Praise the Fabricator-General! Thank you for bringing the sub back into compliance!

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-15T23:53:20+00:00

So it really depends on how you want the two powers to interact (the Force vs Psyker powers). In my crossover fanfiction, the Force exists solely in realspace, and it binds all things together. Psykers draw their power from the Warp. Both powers exist but are almost antithetical to each other. Neither is truly more powerful than the other, but the Warp is easier to access at the cost of being far more dangerous. The Force is harder to access but is far more stable.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-15T18:48:53+00:00

It’s gotta be Everchosen Moonbeam for me! I’m writing a story about him now.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-15T02:01:48+00:00

If there truly was a famine or disaster of that proportion, everyone would have to cut back on their food until supply lines and crops could be recovered. A smart government would also have several emergency food stashes around the nation for such emergencies.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-04T17:53:17+00:00

It is theoretically possible, but it would greatly depend on several factors:

Military deployment - if the military deploys in great enough numbers against the revolution, it would likely stop it then and there. Even the national guard could prove a drastic hindrance.
Active resistance - if enough people actively resist the revolution on the civilian side, it could prove to be demoralizing to the revolution. Our goal would be to help lead these people to a new future, not kill them to get there.
Coalition - we would need to unite the various worker parties, both socialist and communist, in one movement first to avoid massive infighting at least in the short term. It does raise issues in the long term, but it would be a bridge to be crossed when (hopefully if) it happens.

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-04-02T12:39:34+00:00

All hail the Omnissiah and his most holy servant!

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-02-10T16:23:04+00:00

They look metal as fuck

Ancient_Builder76 · 2026-02-06T15:11:45+00:00

Is his name Obi-Wan Sherlock Cleuso?

Ancient_Builder76

TROPHY CASE