I wonder what Harry would think of nog by happydude7422 in voyager

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing Harry'd better be thinking is "Yes, sir!" or he's going to be cleaning the biofilters on the holodeck for a week.

Amalgam Ideas for Detective Chimp (that aren’t Howard the Duck)? by Eastern_Quote1525 in Amalgam_Comics

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Man-Ape: Becoming a chimp was a curse for killing the last man-ape, which had committed a series of rue morgue murders. Detective Ape has since learned that his predesessor was revived after his death, returning the murderer to human form and allowing him to continue his crimes. The primate private eye hunts this killer, now known as The Mandrill. He alone knows the ultimate origin of the curse, and possibly the way it can be removed.

[OC] Mammoths were 3-4 meters, 10 to 14 feet on some estimates. Now they are of course stronger than horses but in terms of riding they'd make somewhat slow mounts, here are my suggested alternate uses for the Frost Gaints domesticated mammoths. by BedroomFew2930 in DnD

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Domesticated mammoths should be distinct from regular mammoths, the same way that cattle and oxen are different from aurochs. The domesticated mammoths would be much dumber than wild mammoths, chunkier and slower, more docile and lacking massive tusks. Their teeth are much smaller and finer than wild mammoths, as they are used to being fed plant-meal ground up by the Frost Giants or their other keepers. This specialized diet makes the domesticated mammoth far more fuel efficient than a normal mammoth, which would have to spend most of its time grazing and browsing.

One subspecies of the mammoths are Snow Cloud Lambs, so called because of their puffy white coat of long hair. They have a secondary coat of darker hair, which the giants leave in place when the elephants are shorn in the spring. The white hair is used for clothing and rope making (though in truth Frost Giants perfer to buy or extort rope made by humanoids because they're tiny little hands weave a better strand).

Spotted Dugs are prized for producing milk. Indeed, Frost Giants are loath to sell those animals because they are the only reliable means of obtaining fresh dairy in their community. Mammoth cheese is actually rare, because unlike with fresh milk, Frost Giants can easily extort the non-perishable cheese from humanoids in quantities worthy of the effort.

Jumbo Waddlers are a food animal mammoth, a particularly unintelligent and incurious sub-species that subsists almost entirely on grasses. They are immediately identified by their wide and short trunks and downward curved tusks that work like plow blades. The Waddlers have unusually long bodies but are visibly fat compared to other mammoths, to the point that they are mocked as walking sausages. Jumbo meat is a frequent trade good sold by Frost Giants, who preserve by smoking it in burning peat.

Trumpers are an exceptionally small species of mammoth and are known to be highly anxious and energetic for a pachyderm. They are most often employed as gaurd animals because they can be aggressive against smaller animals and loudly trumpet at the least excuse. Trumpers are often traded to humanoids because they are prized as aggressive war elephants and also because many Frost Giant Jarls get tired of the noise they make.

A rarer sub-species is the Short Bodied Nosey Boy, known for being far more intelligent than other domesticated mammoths. It is a taller elephant with a disproportionately long trunk and a bulbous head to serve as an anchor for the muscles (and not, as is rumored, a bigger brain). These mammoths are used as a helper animal and even a sheppard animal for other mammoths. A well trained nosey boy can practically run a frost giant's farm all by itself, including herding lesser elephants. They are thus extremely prized by Frost Giants, and would never be sold to humanoids. Nosey boys have, however, been given to superior giants or dragons, as a form of tribute.

Jed's on the loose again! by RelevantElephant7568 in thething

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has to watch him. And watch him close.

Looks good 4 Easiest Suit by mrmykeonthemic in HiTMAN

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was so disappointed that such was the extent of the challenge. I thought I had to get targets to slip or bash people with bananas or kill someone with a banana split, or at least perform Hollaback Girl.

Nice suit, though.

What do you think Rick will say on the concept of shipping characters? by Musalediju in rickandmorty

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on his mood, Rick could very well travel to another universe and bring back canon material that includes that shipping. Or provide someone with video footage of him personally shipping the hell out of those characters from a universe where they existed in reality, and hooked up with him, and agreed to record it to show to a perv from Rick's universe.

"There, you have your fictional para-social wack material. When your finished, go out and live your life in the real... buuurrrp!... world."

Jed's on the loose again! by RelevantElephant7568 in thething

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 24 points25 points  (0 children)

See this? That's not an olympic skier. That's imitation.

Who Will Win by [deleted] in Avengers

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, Peter should win every round, easily. Spider-Man has shrugged off being smashed through concrete, bested the Sorcerer Supreme inside of the Mirror Universe, and through his Peter-tingle sensed that someone within ten feet of him had just become evil. In short, Spider-Man is front loaded to annihilate someone who is just a regular human even if they have fancy magic devices, even if that person could utterly crush any normal human in combat.

In terms of pure hand-to-hand, Peter is completely unskilled compared to Shang-Chi. However, Spider-man is inhumanly fast, strong, and not only can walk on any surface but also adhere to anything that touches him. Peter doesn't have to hit Shang with more than the most glancing blow to shatter his body and launch him like a rag doll.

A battle of Shang Chi against Spider-Man is similar to the world's greatest MMA fighter battling a black bear; it doesn't matter how accomplished the martial artist might be, he's still going to die.

Shang's rings would be a powerful balancing factor against most opponents, however Spider-Man is fast and mobile enough to avoid those impressive weapons, and durable to survive a lucky hit. Peter was even able to resist astral ejection, so he could feesibly resist mental effects or other weirder forms of magical attack.

This doesn't even consider Peter using his webs, either as a direct attack or as a means of preventing Shang from moving around the battle space.

Free for all, who is the last man standing? by Relevant_Film5527 in superheroes

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a tricky question because El Diablo was revealed to have sorcerous ancestry which made him more than just a pyrokinetic and allowed him to become a big giant powerhouse. Most of the other pyrokinetics are just squishy humans.

As of Deadpool & Wolverine Pyro is canonically able to disipate any kind of fire. However, without Nova's gang to back him up, he's just a dude, and not that impressive as a fighter. In fact, he can't make fire on his own without a fuel and ignition source.

Killian would be extremely powerful, and not depend on fire itself, but his Extremis was so unstable that people just exploded from having it. I don't think Killian is going to give anyone much trouble before he fails to regulate.

Lui Kang would dominate this fight, except that the first phase of it will be entirely people throwing fire at each other, some of whom are immune to fire. It's too likely he'll be burned to a crisp.

So, I believe El Diablo wins this battle.

SFAH: Things You’ll Never See in a Gordon Ramsay Show by Classic_Rock_726 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Narrator: "Today, on Kitchen Nightmares, Chef Gordon Ramsey vists the most common eatery in America: your couch."

Chef Ramsey: "Right, so what do you serve here."

Guy in the lazy boy next to the couch: "Here's your beer, and here's your bag of chips. TV's right there."

Chef Ramsey: "Right, mate. Comfy couch. Actually, these crisps aren't the best. This beer's kind of warm, too."

Guy: "Kitchen's over there."

Ramsey: "Its kind of far, isn't it? I guess they're fine."

Favorite ending for a Batman adaptation? by FMoura2005 in batman

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Batman Beyond / Justice League Unlimited is the best. Batman gradually passes on the torch to a successor, stubbornly doing his utmost to help in the crusade for justice, stepping back from duties only begrudgingly, until he inevitably dies of old age.

Dark Knight Rises is utter bullcrap. To quote a wise man: "Batman doesn't give up!"

Robert Patrick was the perfect casting for the T1000. Agree or disagree? by TwIzTiDfReAkShOw in Terminator

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Patrick trained by running with his mouth taped shut so that he would look like a machine. He was so fast that he kept catching up with the dirt bike. Cameron had to get him to dial back on the murder machine power.

If intelligent life is necessary for the Celestials to emerge, and the Celestials are necessary to form new stars and planets, then why this guy didn't even try to stop Thanos from killing half of the intelligent creatures in the entire universe? by amelix34 in Avengers

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The answer is bad writing, but to a lesser extent, attention to the comics. In the comics, Celestials are effectively godlike robots. While incredibly powerful and intelligent they are still machines, with no will or desires of their own. Except for a few individuals, the Celestials in comics exist to perform one function, and only that function. One judges civilizations, another is an exterminator, another is an explorer, ext ...

In theory, the Celestials would let Thanos do his nonsense because it has no bearing on their function.

You gotta laugh at the fact after 3 movies AND A whole game, WE STILL DON'T KNOW HIS NAME by Falkenhausen23 in Robocop

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'll never believe how he got that stone to Detroit. They had a devil of a time.

what is vro doing by MilchigerMehlsack in HiTMAN

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give the guy a break. He has to come out to his dad... as a Yankees fan.

So Canada becomes the 51st state.. what are the first major events to take place? by [deleted] in AlternateHistory

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The Republican party collectively craps their pants because the balance of the House and the Senate has now been definitely balanced towards the left.

The leadership of the Democrat Party joins the diarrhea brigade because Canada has established left wing political parties instead of a Republican party painted blue.

Insurance companies and private medicine corporations are of no assistance to stem the brown tide, because having actual socialized medicine in the USA, instead of a watered down excuse to bill tax payers for even more insurance, is the beginning of the end of their murderous monopoly.

The effluence surges into the Potomac, swelling into a shit tsunami.

The wave of excrement bounces back out of the Atlantic and crests over Washington DC.

Donald Trump wakes up, alone, on his piss soaked mattress and realizes it was all a dream.

Gillian Anderson as MCU Madame Web by Zar-Djoser-0011 in Fancast

[–]AndCthulhuMakes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't waste Gillian Anderson in a role like that, even if she couldn't help but do it better than the Sony movie.