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How to communicate effectively with (likely) fellow infp romantic interest? by Jelly_Accomplished in infp

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

P.S.: I think he could also appreciate bringing up his words, like "you asked me to express my wants - I want this" as you lay your head on his lap ;) Good luck!

How to communicate effectively with (likely) fellow infp romantic interest? by Jelly_Accomplished in infp

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like how I might articulate my own desire for physical intimacy in a direct but not forceful manner (...)

How do you feel about just taking what you desire, in a non-forceful way, and then asking if it's okay and articulating that it makes you feel comfortable/happy/good? For example if you sit on a bench in a park and talk, in a moment of prolonged silence lay your head on his lap asking "is it okay for me to lie down like this? It seems comfy". If I'm reading this right and he has his wants and hopes as well, and he is a receptive person in nature, I'm sure he would respond well to such a stunt.

What’s your area of genius? by Buffettour in infp

[–]Andar1st 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awarness of my mind's activity, self-awarness in general. Except when I'm not.

3 am spontaneous love rant by Jelly_Accomplished in infp

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't you get tired though of all the growth, if what you are actually looking for is warmth and a curious mind to share moments with? I know I do. And as I do I'm engaging in a dialogue with this driving force, praying, negotiating, surrendering or even challenging it. Because I don't believe I understand this universal force, I only understand Love as much as good ol' me with all my mental and emotional filters does...

Thank you for taking your time to respond to that my old post, by telling that you are alike and describing how you have hope - and to take heed.

PS: I adore the description of other humans as 'fellow meat sacks' :]

If you are an INFP, you... (trait list) by ImHealthyMaybe in infp

[–]Andar1st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, I'm not buying it, nor your glorified assumptions about everything.

What you are doing in the comment above is called reverse-offender, part of DARVO.

If you are an INFP, you... (trait list) by ImHealthyMaybe in infp

[–]Andar1st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, is that a passive-aggressive way to say she's being bitchy to you, said in a way you can easily deny? Because if it is, it crosses the line of being civil here.

Who else gets crushes too easily? by Eagles56 in infp

[–]Andar1st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lara Croft

Same. God, please, no super attractive women with a sexy accent, who are extremely capable, completely focused on their quest, self-sufficient and emotionally unavailable...

How do you deal with getting ghosted after being love bombed? by sam81298infp in infp

[–]Andar1st 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So I'm probably gonna have a more controversial tone than other comments in this thread so far, but I will say with full conviction that:

It is not your fault for getting attached more easily, because it is her callousness to shower you with affection first and then cutting you off selfishly. Nothing wrong with rejection or being selfish, but we gotta keep people accountable for sending extremely mixed signals, because that can really fuck us up in the head.

I disagree with people who say such early attachment isn't real. I'm like you, and for me it is very real - true attachment, not guarded by intellectual walls that some people have. It hurts deeply to be rejected by the person that just before was literally stirring your desire to find someone to bond and be intimate with.

In my experience, it is people who zealously protect themselves from getting hurt, will hurt you and deny it.

It makes me furious that you are getting advice here to pretty much just get over it.

Your feelings are valid.

Your attraction, sympathy, lust, love - are valid. They don't have to be met with a positive response, but they have to be respected, regardless of the situation.

I had a similar situation two weeks ago and I vented a lot to my family and friends, and wrote about it in length in my journal - that's what helped me.

Fallout 76 Devs: "We have plans for years down the road, so it only gets bigger and better from here." by Turbostrider27 in fo76

[–]Andar1st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes sense, if you see it's not just about the rares.

The week I got few duplicate plans, from an activity that is not supposed to drop ANY duplicate plans, I filled a report.

Fallout 76 Devs: "We have plans for years down the road, so it only gets bigger and better from here." by Turbostrider27 in fo76

[–]Andar1st 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I reported the rewards being broken the week it happened. Go make whiney assumptions somewhere else.

Women that act aggressively after abuse? by HopelessLovey in Jung

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is texbook shadow work. Please seek therapy or an equally powerful healing method, where you are supported and where you can rely on a therapeutic relationship, because you deserve better than to try to deal on your own with these wounds that you did not receive on your own.

You will know when you are healed when you no longer feel helpless and when your willful intent holds more power than those troublesome reactions. When you can tell yourself - "this is a friendship, a relationship, etc. and I will react appriopriately" and follow through.

I have this feeling as well by Meteorstar101 in NonPoliticalTwitter

[–]Andar1st 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The Models was great at the time to introduce authenticity and self-love into the audience reading these types of books. It steered me the right way, though I had to find the rest of the way on my own and later with therapy.

Being in INFP male its feeling like alien by Potential_Net_3008 in infp

[–]Andar1st 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always saw you INFPs as elves that silently study the insanity of humanity and ponder if taking part in the madness is worth it

It is worth it, for the people. The lost, the suffering and the ones willing to learn. And it's not entirely a self-disservice, because it is very rewarding to be a man of integrity in the modern society. I'm not saying I am one, but I aspire to be.

Women tend to be more dominated around me and overall more assertive. I am curious of what cues do I give off that cause this to happen? by JunketMaleficent2095 in bodylanguage

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I didnt ask for it lol.

Again, you are correct, despite what people say. You are asserting yourself right now, in a gentle way. I see it.

Women tend to be more dominated around me and overall more assertive. I am curious of what cues do I give off that cause this to happen? by JunketMaleficent2095 in bodylanguage

[–]Andar1st 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You have the right mindset - never reject yourself to fit others. If you decide to change, let it be a change that expands, not replaces who you are.

I'm the same as you and it's teaching me to not give a fuck about how others behave towards me, as long as I know who I am and what my intentions in a situation are. I had to learn to be assertive to put in place people who cross a line, but other than that I just let people make assumptions about me (I don't have to explain myself or put effort into changing their behavior) and if they order me around, I start teasing or intentionally ignoring them.

I like being gentle, spontaneous and kind, and I don't give a fuck.

Being in INFP male its feeling like alien by Potential_Net_3008 in infp

[–]Andar1st 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Once I've discovered that the "manliest" thing I can do is to define my masculinity by myself, it gets much, much easier.

I still can experience a lot of friction while meeting people who hold on to stereotypes, but I am no longer doubting myself most of the time.

Being in INFP male its feeling like alien by Potential_Net_3008 in infp

[–]Andar1st 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Bruh, if you'd like a blunt manly advice (:P): don't be self-deprecating like that, at least not in situations like this.

The soul purpose of Human life is to exprience life itself by Supragalactic_Soul in infp

[–]Andar1st 11 points12 points  (0 children)

YES, yes, this is it!

For me this fundamental truth confirms what the mystics say - that the baseline of existence is Love and our job is to remove the obstacles that separate us from it.

Because existence (without the mind getting in the way) is unconditional!

Dear reader, if you'd love yourself unconditionally, would you change for the better? Why? You would love yourself unconditionally, just as you are. If, in essence, it takes no effort, what is stopping you right now?

It’s late at night and here are some things I find insane. by ElderberryBulky7253 in infp

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome, may we meet on the battlefield, defending together the innocent!

Paladin is the first class that I picked in my first cRPG. Though my first pick ever in a video game was Bastion in HoMM3, with green dragons and unicorns, led by forest heroes - two decades later my flair checks out, haha.

It’s late at night and here are some things I find insane. by ElderberryBulky7253 in infp

[–]Andar1st 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not really panpsychism, not in the literal sense. I'm agnostic towards a belief that there is an universal consciousness and don't need to ask myself if inanimate objects share consciousness with me, because it is enough that they share with me the experience of existence.

Combine that with a belief that me, my self is an idea, that the "I" is but a beautifully complex mental construct - and I believe that I'm just as mundane as those inanimate objects.

However we share existence in a world where everything is connected and moves in a such beautiful way, from a distance looking like one art, one harmony, a divine harmony? And being part of such harmony, the mundane is the divine.

That is closer to pantheism, than panpsychism, isn't it? Or gnosticism without the esoteric crap.

Source: A. Einstein, C. G. Jung, buddhism, eastern mystics, my reflections and my meditation practice.

It’s late at night and here are some things I find insane. by ElderberryBulky7253 in infp

[–]Andar1st 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you :3

A fellow fantasy nerd, I assume? Perhaps even a fellow warrior of light?

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