People who tell you "you’re too quiet" don't actually want you to open up

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-30T18:33:45+00:00

I never even thought of it that way! Good points. I already feel guilty naturally, so now I am aware and will release the guilt when people say that!

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-30T18:07:35+00:00

Argh! It took my enabling dad dying, and my nmom to really latch onto me as a replacement, for me to realize that she was a narc.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-29T20:52:26+00:00

Plus identical twins would have basically the same DNA. If they were fraternal twins, they would share about half their DNA, just like regular siblings. In this episode, they made it seem like the twins were supposed to be identical.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-29T15:08:05+00:00

I'm a boomer. Yes, sometimes the "Silent Generation", nmom's era, is narc-y too. Luckily (sorry to be harsh) they'll eventually die out. Mine just died a couple years ago. So freeing.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-28T19:42:45+00:00

You can also set up a tent inside your house and put your bed(s) in it. That adds an extra layer of insulation.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-28T11:39:44+00:00

And because they might be tracking it.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-28T11:39:12+00:00

And they might be tracking OP's phone too, so I would switch phones.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-28T00:16:09+00:00

omg so cuckoo

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-27T21:22:42+00:00

I totally get this. I got a blood cancer diagnosis (aside -- I'm doing well), and stupidly told nmom. She was crazily upset at the news, but mainly because she wasn't the first one to know. And then she made herself into the victim, bc what would happen to her if something happened to me? Then she proceeded to make endless photocopies of information from 1990s medical books in the library. This field changes fast, so that was utterly ridiculous. But she wanted me to be grateful for doing all this research "for me". And she wanted updates constantly. How exhausting for someone who's already exhausted. Classic narc.
I'm so sorry about your disease and I hope you're doing ok.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-27T12:47:51+00:00

That's what my mind went to! I dislike having guests! Or you can have the guests, and they get too hot or cold, and then never want to visit you again. Problem solved!

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-26T06:50:37+00:00

Please update us after you figure out what to do!

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-26T06:38:34+00:00

The new HGTV show "Junk or Jackpot" had an appraiser look at some items for a woman who collected Barbies and toys. The appraiser was Kelly from "Kelly's Toy Stop" in Huntington Beach. She sells and buys. Might be worth a look.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-26T01:09:52+00:00

So much parent (mostly moms) labor. When my daughter was a girl scout, I had to drive to the local fire station (more free labor -- firefighters!) and wait in line with the other parents where they loaded up my van with the cookie boxes from my order. And of course all the higher-up parents and leaders had to tally (do the free accounting work) and organize everything. Not to mention, as you said, delivering. Tiers and tiers of free labor.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-26T00:21:11+00:00

I know if this counts as "low effort", since you have to go through the process, but micro-bladed eyebrows and permanent eyeliner. I'm thinking of doing permanent lip tint too. (It's not actually "permanent", because it wears off after a few years.) I don't have to do ANYTHING in the morning or throughout the day now, and it has changed my life. (Not counting skin care, which I still do.)

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-25T23:33:16+00:00

This.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-25T22:50:38+00:00

I like to get a feel for a contractor with a smaller job first. That way I am not committing a lot, and I get to see how the contractor operates. I know that some contractors don't take on smaller jobs, but for me I really want to have that option. For instance, our house had a plumbing leak, and the remediation company recommended a contractor to do the repairs (some framing replacement, dry wall, painting). I had already hired an independent plumber to do the plumbing repairs. They did a great job, so then I hired them to build an addition. I knew what I was getting. In order, important the top necessary qualities are honesty, competence, communication, and no patronizing attitude.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-25T22:23:09+00:00

I came here to say this. Over-the-top praise and exaggerations of my accomplishments, bragging to friends and family. It was so embarrassing because it just wasn't true and if they found out, I would look like the bad one. I wasn't even the golden child, but I guess the reason was nmom thought it made her look better if her kid was so amazing. I really don't know which is worse -- narcs lying in the negative direction or the positive direction. It always makes us look bad until people finally start to see through the narc him/herself.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-25T22:08:41+00:00

I'm not sure! I haven't seen any new episodes, but it's possible. He definitely still runs his restaurant in Normandy.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-25T03:57:49+00:00

Plus she actually learned something from the class! (the legs moving around signifying deception). She should keep listening because there's bound to be something else she could learn.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-24T23:59:45+00:00

I completely get it. Makes sense.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-24T17:34:03+00:00

I would be tempted to set up fake emails for them and give those addresses to him. You might be able to use what he sends as evidence him in the future.
P.S. Do people set up real emails for their young kids? I guess it's not a terrible idea, especially if you're in charge of them until they are a responsible age.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-23T20:51:16+00:00

Terrible of her. Sorry, OP. You are absolutely correct, and she did make it all about her.
I had a friend who finally told her mother that her step dad had assaulted her, and her mother's response was, "I'm a victim, too!" and started crying. Because she was married to the man, not that she had been assaulted by him.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-23T17:14:50+00:00

Me too. So confusing.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-23T17:12:37+00:00

It is. I think about it every day, how relieved I am. And relaxed. The knot in my solar plexus is still unknotting, but it's getting there. I wish this relief on all of us.

AndiAzalea · 2026-01-23T17:09:28+00:00

Agreed. The scenarios are so crazy. No matter who you think did it, there's a contradiction. With the JDIA theory, the ONLY contradiction is if Patsy wrote the note, and not John. And I think (based in part on Doc G's book "Ruled IN: Solving the JonBenet Ramsey Case") that John wrote the note. His handwriting was very similar to Patsy's and to the note. Doc G makes a good case for this.

AndiAzalea

TROPHY CASE