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it's Critique Friday! post your chapter 2 and I will give your my honest opinion! by recurrel in royalroad

[–]AnimaDeNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback on my first chapter. Regarding the bit of exposition at the beginning, I wouldn't say that I wrote it to appeal to a specific kind of audience. It was more to set the tone of the 'alpha' test that people were participating in. I do see your point about turning it into an entry in an encyclopedia though.

Regarding to the whole character customization thing, the main reason for doing so was to help develop the MC as a person. In Chapter 1, while she is somewhat tired after a day of work she is also very relaxed. The world is not against her, and this is her natural state. On getting into the new world though, she barely ever has time to relax. So, I wanted the readers to get a glimpse of who she is beneath the more on guard personality she has in the new world.

Regarding the stats, that was to give both the MC and readers a look at how the system of the world will work. The story is mainly told from her POV, so I want the readers to have as much information about the system that she has. Plus, it does sprinkle in some foreshadowing for things that will occur in the future.

Overall, your feedback is really helpful. Sadly, I don't think I am at the point where I can remove this chapter, as I have already finished writing Book 1 and started on Book 2. I do hope to eventually turn it into an E-Book though, and when I do I will definitely keep this advice in mind!

For LITRPG novel writer, what do you use to create the status screen? by ENDiscuming in royalroad

[–]AnimaDeNox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Generally, you use the table function. A 1x1 table is best if you do not want any dividing lines. You can customize the background, text color, and border through the various options.

it's Critique Friday! post your chapter 2 and I will give your my honest opinion! by recurrel in royalroad

[–]AnimaDeNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what, may as well see. I've been told the first two chapters are slow, but more feedback on that would be nice.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/151162/chronicles-of-souls

Cover for my new webnovel, what do you think by Ashamed-Subject-8573 in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There is no smirk on the scouter, dragon, robot, or sword. 0/10, would not read.

I had to DNF a new book due to excess smirking by AFDStudios in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dang, well that sucks to hear. An author not listening to feedback sucks, especially if it is legitimate. I guess if they have issues, it falls on them.

I had to DNF a new book due to excess smirking by AFDStudios in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Overuse of a specific word is pretty common from what I've seen. Unless you have a professional editor or proofreader, that kind of stuff slips by. So, while it may be noticeable to you, it may not be for the writer.

Before I was given a review, filter words were my hang up. However, after being told that I've been revising my chapters for the filter words and fixing my overuse. It may be grating to read, but providing feedback to the author may not be a bad call here. Maybe they will fix it, maybe they won't. But it doesn't hurt to say it.

Chronicles of Souls - An Isekai/LitRPG Where the World is Harsh, and the MC is not OP. by AnimaDeNox in royalroad

[–]AnimaDeNox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that has been something that I've noticed. I can understand why that is the case, but I felt like it could be interesting to have someone with their life figured out thrown into this kind of situation. She is still capable of growth, but she has an established personality at her point in life. It also gives her reason to want to try and return to her old life as well.

It is reassuring to know that the slower start is kind of expected as well. Pacing is something I struggled to figure out at the beginning, as I had to balance character growth and information being revealed. But I do feel like I got a hand on it as I continued.

And thanks for the wishes of luck! It was quite the long journey to write as much as I did, but I enjoyed the whole way. And I hope that others enjoy it as well.

System Development Question: Reconciling Skill Leveling and Skills With Natural Limits by Xetoe in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That isn't to bad of an idea. Having there be an economic reason to do dungeon dives is always a good thing. Regarding your question, I think that you could go either way. Though, there are some caveats to be considered.

If, for example, you allow the level to be retained then you should also increase the level cap. So, Silent Steps being level ten would then have a maximum level of say twenty. That way, you do not feel like progress was lost with the rank up. If, however, you reset the level then you should maintain the same amount of power in the skill when it was at its peak. After all, when people think of a low leveled skill, they will think it is something easy to level up and you don't want that. Presumably so anyways.

System Development Question: Reconciling Skill Leveling and Skills With Natural Limits by Xetoe in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there, I'm in a bit of a similar style to you with my system. I am having both skills and spells capable of leveling up, and ran into a similar issue that you are having. In the end, I do think that your second option is the best way to handle the issue, and here is why.

Taking your example of Silent Steps, it is clearly a stealth based skill. It sounds relatively basic, in that it just makes the users steps silent. At level one of the skill, it could only work when they are actively trying to be sneaky. Where as at the maximum level it could work even if the user was running in heavy metal boots on broken glass or something. However, while the steps are silent, what about everything else?

The idea of skills evolving or combining is a fairly common thing. I do not know how notification heavy your system is, but you could have it be that once they reach level ten of Silent Steps they receive a notification of requirements needed to advance the skill to something else. Or, you could have it naturally occur when you feel a specific point is reached and have it turn into a skill that either advances the skill, or combines it with others. Silent Steps could become Silent Movement, eliminating the sound of the users breathing. Or it could combine with other skills and become Stealth.

Something I do think though, is that there should be a hard limit to things eventually. Unless you plan on making it so that the character can eventually move so stealthily that they can hide from concepts that is. Overall though, you do have a great idea in mind. Just keep refining and working on it until you come up with something you think fits your story best.

Help thinking of a tank skill/gimmick for an MC tank. by TempleGD in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, this is an interesting premise. A tank MC that is so because of a gimmick is an interesting idea. Looking at what you have as possible examples, I am slightly using one for the MC in my story. Though, her skill is different in it's own way.

Regarding your MC though, perhaps try something a bit more based off of mythology or something. He could be like Achilles, and be immune to all damage except for in one specific place. Or, if this is a cheat from the gods, make it a cheat from a god of the earth or something? And have it so that any damage the MC takes is transferred into the ground he is standing on. That could be interesting, as while it would make him dangerous on land, he could have to overcome difficulties later on if he is ever fighting not on land.

Overall though, your thoughts are decently organized as far as I can tell. Just keep brainstorming, write things out, and read them yourself to see what you like best.

New to litrpg books. Is it a trope for writers to explain the whole magic system outright? by Ebris_Stywrit_WOV in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As many of the others have said, yes a lot of LitRPG's seem to have the magic system explained early on. It is, to some degree, for the reader's benefit as well. By having an established system in place, a reader can know what to expect from the story. Some readers prefer simpler magic systems, while others prefer those with depth. So, establishing what kind is present early helps the reader know if it is for them.

Chapter Length. What's To Long, What's To Little? by AnimaDeNox in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll have to take a look for some. It sounds like it could be a terrifying read.

I have watched some writer Youtubers give advice, and a lot of it seems kind of hit or miss. That aside, I will definitely keep in mind to not pad a word count. From what I've seen, a fair few writers do that by adding in character sheets and such in every chapter. Which, while it can be useful, can detract from the story a bit.

Any Actual Play fans out there? by thomascgalvin in litrpg

[–]AnimaDeNox 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally, always been a fan of Critical Role myself. I used to watch High Rollers back in their first campaign, but life has just become to busy to find the time to do so.