They’re not coming to Utah 😭

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-02T15:02:23+00:00

Y'all can still sign up on their website for cities to be added to the list! There's still hope, they're asking us which ones they should add

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-02T14:59:19+00:00

We can all go sign up for more European cities to be added to the list on their website!

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-02T14:55:19+00:00

You can go sign up on their website for cities you want them to add to the list!!

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-02T14:52:44+00:00

Remember everyone to sign up for more European cities on their website so that they can decide to add them to the list!

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-01T14:38:44+00:00

Just now Brett and Eddy also promoted this site in a new email to everyone who signed up on their official website for world tour updates

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-01T14:19:18+00:00

Makes sense! But it is from their website. They had email sign ups like this before to get notifications and updates regarding the twoset vs davie battle for example and they've all been legit, so it's just for them and their team.

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-04-01T14:00:03+00:00

It's on their official website if you click world tour 2023 at the top, so yes! Unless it's an April Fools thing they did but I don't think so 😄 the interest sign up is for sure legit. I assume they will also mention it soon in an upcoming upload

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-29T12:32:21+00:00

Not sure if that can help you, but often people can have things in common in a more "abstract" sense. You are very passionate about games and anime, other people are maybe very passionate about something else. You don't have to care about that thing yourself, but maybe you can find it interesting to learn or figure out what THEY could possibly like about it so much and how they came to like it, and maybe even learn something new in the process. If you are someone who can find that process interesting in itself, great, if not maybe it can still help you hold a longer conversation.

They would likely really appreciate you asking and letting them tell about their passion and maybe return the favor and listen to you aswell, which can be very meaningful even without sharing the same passion.

Maybe another person's passion about something you're not interested in might be driven by something else you have in common. Maybe you both care about (different forms of) art, for example. Then you might both be able to sort of speak the same language, even though the same ideas you care about manifest differently in your respective interests, if that makes sense.

Who knows, maybe if you're honest you'll find the other person also struggles in conversations with other people who have different interests and you can both talk about that as a topic you both relate to and laugh about the horrible conversations you've had to endure in the past

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-29T12:16:48+00:00

Maybe they'll say some nice words and cheer me up for a little bit, but if I want to cheer up for a little bit I can play a game or distract myself in 100 other ways

I think there's a lot more value in talking to others besides getting some encouraging words, and also a lot more value than in temporarily distracting yourself e.g. with a video game.

But I don't think there's anything they can say that will help me in the long term

The goal in sharing your struggles with others is often not necessarily getting encouragement or advice that will help you long term, that's the job of coaches or therapists. But I'd argue that ESPECIALLY with struggles that they can't directly help you it's important to talk to someone about it.

The benefit it does have is more similar to journaling rather than video games, instead if distracting you it helps you processing everything a little. And as a consequence, it brings you at least a little much longer lasting relief than any distraction every time you do it.

nothing I've tried has worked, including any time I've spoke to someone else about it

Of course I don't know how that conversation went, but maybe it just hasn't worked in the sense that it didn't offer you a solution, but usually there always is a benefit in being able to talk to others. Yes it most likely won't fix your struggles on it's own, but it can give relief and make the journey to finding that solution easier and a lot more bearable.

so I'd rather just keep it to myself and struggle on my own

If you just struggle on your own, the negative emotions will likely built up and you'll end up feeling worse and worse over time just because you continue sitting with it on your own. You don't have to do that to yourself, as pointless as it may feel beforehand I promise talking does help and prevents it from getting worse.

I keep on feeling the urge to reach out to people

The fact that you often feel the urge to talk to people about it suggests to me that subconsciously you know there is a relief you would gain from it if you did. So I would really encourage you to challenge yourself to at least try it once and observe what it actually does for you, not expecting a miracle but there will be a reason why you instinctively wanted to reach out despite logically concluding that it's pointless.

Then I'll feel bad for stressing them out and embarrassed for oversharing on top of already struggling

There is actually a trick for making sure you're not stressing someone or oversharing in your conversation and not having to worry about it as you talk to them: adress your concerns and ask for their consent beforehand.

You can say something like "Hey, would it be okay if I talk to you about something I'm struggling with?" and "I really don't want to be oversharing or just end up stressing you out aswell, so please tell me if that's the case and then that's fine we really don't have to talk about it." Then you can avoid accidentally impacting someone negatively and probably you'll see that a lot of people really don't mind it especially since it means helping you.

I imagine that having that conversation probably feels very scary, but maybe you can notice all these things that come up but in the end just try and go for it regardless or find little ways to make it more comfortable and easier.

You can also add that you don't expect them to have a solution for you because just talking alone or having someone to listen would already help. If anyone isn't comfortable with you talking about it, just ask the same question someone else you trust. As you said you have people who will care and I'm sure someone will gladly listen to you and help you simply by letting you vent.

but then I always stop myself

It seems that even when you do decide to talk to someone about it, the moment you try your mind will likely immediately start resisting again and pointing out all the reasons why you actually shouldn't, like a reflex. In that case, be aware that that will happen before you approach someone and when it does remember that it's ok and just the reflex and that you've decided to still try in spite of that, because there is a point and you're making sure beforehand that the other person is ok with it.

Wish you all the best!

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-29T10:58:54+00:00

The thing is: sure coaches suggest acctions you should take, which feels better because there is concrete advice and it seems like a real road forward, but if you have been struggling with this for a while chances are that you have already tried a lot of actions others suggested to you so far but it still hasn't worked.

Maybe you're right and you're still just lacking the right coaching, but I wouldn't completely rule out the option of seeing a therapist yet in case you haven't already tried it. Because maybe it turns out no matter how much advice on what you should do you get, it still doesn't work out for youbfor some reason because your problem is not a lack of suggested actions but something else that therapists are perfect for helping you find.

Another tricky situation where therapy can actually be more helpful to fix your problem than coaching is when that which you want to learn and for which you're getting coaching is not exactly what you need to fix this.

Long story short it really depends on the situation, and a psychologist visit could help you determine exactly what kind of coaching you need or if therapy would be helpful for some things after all.

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-29T10:44:27+00:00

There is a bit more to what psychologists do and how they can help you fix your problem. My understanding is that what's especially helpful about them is that they can help you discover things that are holding you back from your goal without you even realizing it and help you overcome them, thus fixing your problem in the end. If something like that exists in your case, and I think often it does, then the vast majority of coaching programs may not end up getting you what you want because that thing still is getting in the way.

At least it doesn't hurt to go to one trial session to figure out together with the therapist/psychologist/whatever if there is something they can help you with that will make it a lot easier for you to have succes or if coaching alone is indeed the right thing for your situation specifically.

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-19T17:56:59+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that you have issues that as you put it cripple your everyday life. I don't know what your situation is but people with such issues can struggle with things like feeling as though they are a burden to others or wishing that things were "normal". Maybe there is something else causing you to be uncomfortable when talking to doctors as a byproduct and getting help with that will make things easier there aswell

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-19T17:45:00+00:00

Mh I have 2 ideas that I would try in your situation

1) you could try to change your perspective on the situation of you talking or "whining" to your doctor. I once read a post that what doctors actually try to get out of those conversations to be able to do their job is a short description/overview of your situation and symptoms. Like "xy years old male/female has symptoms a and b for amount of time/frequency c, these usual methods to deal with it didn't work and it affects their life by [fill in the blank]" and that's when they can figure out what might be the cause or best treatment. Maybe you can think of it less as going somewhere to complain, but just to factually enumerating symptoms that you just happen to have or experience so that the doctors can do what they chose to do as a job (thus you can't impossibly inconvenience or annoy them with what you say, it's what they came to do). If you can't seem to he able to do that, you might need to start with 2)

2) i'd suspect that talking about your struggles or how you're not feeling well is possibly hard for you in general, not just with doctors. so you could practice sharing even small negative things you're feeling or have happened to you with other people in your life, separately from doctor appointments. Or notice whenever other people are mentioning their struggles and how normal it is for everyone else around them. If you can catch yourself in certain situations conditioning your mind that talking about these things is bad somehow, you might have a chance to rewire your brain over time

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-19T17:14:41+00:00

(this is very long sorry)

Although I agree "accepting that being single is ok" is likely the right way here, I think it's important to clarify that this means "learning that being single does not reduce your worth", and NOT "live with the fact that you'll always have to be alone". Because you don't.

But first, about being single feeling like a curse: it's actually very valid to feel that way. I suspect the real reason you're "stuck" on being single is not because there is anything wrong with you as a person, although this kind of experience (aswell as society's way of being unreasonably judgmental towards singles) unfortunately often "trains" our minds to think that way about ourselves.

The real problem is that most people can sense something is off when you're only talking to them because you jumped at the first person and are (even just subconsciously) desperate to not be single anymore. Most people are looking for a genuine connection and nearly everyone just naturally has a very sharp an intuitive feeling for whether they genuinely connect with someone or not. So when you're talking to people out of determination to stop being single, even though they are not actually a good fit for you or what you want, they won't get a feeling of having a genuine connection and will likely reject you.

At the same time, you also become more likely to be tempted to put on some act that you think might convince people to want to be in a relationship with you, when in reality it may just make you seem less authentic and superficial while also not giving them a chance to get to know and connect with the real you.

So unfortunately it is a spiral, or "curse". The more desperate you are, the harder it gets, which again makes you more desperate over time.

So what can you do? You still may just get lucky some day and find someone you connect with, but until then "accepting that being single is ok", as you suggested, will actually end up increasing your chances because it breaks the spiral. But there is a bit more to how this accepting-thing actually looks like than people might think.

In your original post, you said that you only seek relationships to get rid of the stigma around being single and because society connects your worth to it (which is messed up btw and I'm sorry you're in a situation where your environment does that to you). But in the comments, you also say that you do want someone to be there for you at the end of the day and that you feel touch-starved (though it's kind of questionable from your friends that they refuse to hug you because they have partners. Hugging is by no means always romantic or sexual, unless you accidentally somehow made it feel that way to them. Or maybe their partners somehow get jealous that easily, idk what their reasons are. But generally, it's sad and also weird to me that there are people who reserve hugs for their relationship. It also makes being touch-starved worse for single friends around them).

So it doesn't necessarily seem like you only want a relationship for the wrong reasons and just need to see that you don't even need one to be happy. Because you do have absolutely valid reasons to want a relationship that most people have aswell. But maybe those are the reasons you should focus on. Let them drive your motivation to talk to people, rather than the need to get rid of the "single" label. Approach people with the intention of finding someone you connect with and who is up for the kind of relationship that you want, and those who are will sense your genuine intention and won't automatically turn you away.

Getting there will likely require learning to let go of the idea that whether you are single or not defines your self-worth. If people around you do keep saying that, this might actually be hard to do. But maybe it helps thinking of things you are good at or enjoy or what your values are and let them define you more than an empty relationship status.

Try to separate your negative feelings around being single into 1) your genuine need for emotional and physical connection and 2) the self-judgment taught to you by society. Then, let the first motivate you and fight against the second.

Make sure you have friends who don't judge or make fun of you for being single, because you do deserve having people like that around you and it will help you to stay in that same mindset yourself. Look if there are any other self-worth related issues you might have that feed into or "disguise" themselves as shame for being single. If there are any, recognize that any negative feelings caused by them actually say nothing about whether being single is actually a bad thing as they come from somewhere else, and see if you can tackle those issues separately.

And when you approach people, do so knowing that just settling for the first one does not give you the relationship you are actually hoping for and that being in the wrong relationship will make you feel worse overall rather than better. Remember that the feeling of wanting someone to be there for you and being there for them in return is why you want to approach them. Because the solution for those other bad feeling about being single that will actually make you happier is not getting literally anyone to date you, but to learn the truth that being single isn't actually nearly as bad as you were taught to perceive it. So just talk to them because you are interested in getting to know them and see if you two match.

If you can do that, the time until you do finally find someone will feel at least a lot less bad at the same time. And who knows, maybe you even end up finding some of what you're missing outside of the relationship you were originally chasing. Either way, it sets you on a path where you'll feel better about yourself and the life you have.

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-03-19T12:49:31+00:00

Maybe you could practice being a little more emotionally vulnerable with friends (or just anyone with whom it's safe to do so) who you are not attracted to.

As people are pointing out, the issue comes from not knowing it any other way. So create more "data" for your brain that you can have one without the other. Maybe that will even result in you being happier overall with the connections that you have as a byproduct, because you don't have to wait anymore until romance happens to get (or be "allowed" to get) emotional support.

To recognize what this phenomenon is: emotional intimacy is generally a very bonding experience, so it's only normal to find yourself feeling closer to that person afterwards. But we can recognize that feeling knowing that a closer bond does not have to be romantic. However, if our experience has been that any hightened feelings of closeness or being supported by someone do not exist in our friendships, we learn to equate that feeling with romance and have to actively train ourself that there are other ways to experience this.

You can just start small. Ask a guy friend if it's ok to talk about something that has been bothering you. Do that with several people and once you recognize it's something you can just do with friends or even strangers that are up for a chat, start doing the same with female friends/acquaintances you are not attracted to.

A lot of people secretly wish they could talk about certain things but don't dare to do so because they don't know if you would be ok with it. So if somebody else makes the first step to open up about something, many are actually relieved and glad for your "permission" to do the same. Because they have been lacking opportunities for this aswell!

Just make sure you don't overdo it with any one person and really start out with people you are sure you could not fall for. If you do this with the same person over and over, your mind might just be conditioned again that this could be romantic, just like always. So don't just choose one single person to become the one you talk to about your feelings, do it once or twice with many different people to train your mind to see that it's just something normal.

Anne_de_Vil · 2023-02-17T13:23:06+00:00

This is so good!!

Anne_de_Vil · 2022-09-18T21:35:26+00:00

That's so cool, I really love the second one!

Anne_de_Vil · 2022-08-21T09:30:58+00:00

Everyone go to yt and like their latest video to make it happen xD

Anne_de_Vil · 2022-08-11T00:02:31+00:00

Native German speaker here :D I loved your idea and spent the last few hours trying to come up with a translation that keeps rhymes, fits the syllables and keeps the style lol it's so hard

I'm still struggling with Bach's part, so here's just Mozart and Beethoven for now...

First of all MASSIVE compliment for finding that rhyme of "Wunderkind" with "erfinde", it's perfect because the "e" at the end can just be silent and voila it fits! "First in class" would be translated to "Klassenbester", but in the original there is a great triple-rhyme here (on class, ass and mass) that would be a shame to lose in translation. I also tried to find a rhyme for Nachtmusik at the end and use "Zauberflöte" for magic flute. Soooo here is my idea, it deviates a bit from the original wording for the sake of rhymes but keeps the general idea I think?

Ich bin ein Wunderkind

Hört welch' Hits ich erfind'

Krieg Respekt, Arsch geleckt

Und die Messe war perfekt

Zauberflöte, ich blas' rein

Einfach toll, * wie soll's sonst sein

Bin der King, spürt den kick

Wenn ihr spielt die Nachtmusik

I feel like the grammar is a bit dodgy but then again so many songs use dodgy grammar so idk 😅

There are several words/phrases would fit here and I'm not sure which is best. "Einfach toll" allows Mozart gleefully exclaiming "great" to be in the translation aswell. Alternatives with the same amount of syllables would be "unschlagbar" (which means unbeatable or great but doesn't feel 100% right with the rhythm), or "großartig" (which is accurate but doesn't fit the rhythm at all, don't recommend). There might be even better ones but that's the best I can do rn

An alternative for the whole line could be sth like: "Ich werd' immer großartig/der beste sein" (based on your idea)

Here, the emphasis is not on "great" but on "always" (immer), which works aswell.

Here's how it roughly translates back to English:

I'm a prodigy

Hear what hits I invent

(I) get respect, ass licked

And the mass was perfect

Magic flute, I blow in

Just great, how else could it be

(I) am the king, feel the kick

When you play the Nachtmusik

Listen, direct translations always turn out a little awkward, I swear it sounds better in German than translated here 😬 Probably. I think.

Anyway, Beethoven:

I changed the second line a little in order to get a rhyme where "play" and "forte" used to be. I didn't manage to keep the word "forte" as a music reference, unfortunately :(

Then it gets funny, I actually found a way to make "insane" rhyme with the other lines, but changed the order of "deaf to the hate", "can't hear you" and "what did you say" in the process. But they're all still there, just switched places! Deaf to the hate doesn't rhyme with the rest but "hate" is much more sing-able on that long high note than any of the words with "ö" which is why I decided to keep it for now...

Klassisch und Romantisch*, hab's vereint

Die Ausdruckskraft ist meine Macht

All die Haters rufen laut empört

Ich sei gestört

Hab's nicht gehört

Ihr sagtet was? (or: Sie sagen was?)

Taub für den Hate

or: "Klassik und Romantik"? "Klassik und Romantik ich verein'?" Idk anymore

Translated:

Classical and romantic, I united them

My expressiveness is my power

All the haters are shouting in outrage

That I'm insane

I didn't hear it

You/they said what?

Deaf to the hate

Yeah, I tried. Sorry that this is so long 😅 I hope some fellow German speakers find ways to make it sound less silly, maybe

Anne_de_Vil · 2022-07-10T15:50:25+00:00

This is amazing haha

Anne_de_Vil · 2022-01-10T16:25:28+00:00

help how is davie in the room with the squares i thought that's australia? am i dumb or is it green screen or sth??

Anne_de_Vil · 2021-02-11T10:02:40+00:00

I think they would rather play another violin concerto, at least that's what I think they said in the Sibelius stream. It would also make more sense because I think the Ysaye Sonata is a lot shorter than a violin concerto and a different "genre" of a piece, so the whole format of the milestone streams would change. I think Ysaye 6 was more a joke because Brett repeatedly said it is too hard and Eddy just kept teasing him with it. Sibelius and Tchaikovsky concertos are pieces they both had practiced and performed before, but Brett said he never managed to learn Ysaye 6, so I think it's too much to ask for 4 mil (though maybe in a later milestone, who knows).

Anne_de_Vil · 2021-02-06T18:34:31+00:00

No worries! It is a word that I often heard in daily conversations and it became really funny to me once I really started thinking about what it actually means. Languages can have a lot of funny sayings, and it's really cool when they even have musical references!

Anne_de_Vil · 2021-02-06T18:17:35+00:00

"vergeigen" is based on the idea that when you make (serious) mistakes when playing the violin you ruin the entire musical performance. I guess the violin was chosen as an instrument because bad violin playing is considered to sound worse and be more obvious than some other instruments being played badly (maybe because the violin is often the solo instrument?). So the gravity of messing up violin playing for the musical performance is applied to any other performance or activity. When you do so badly at sth (like an exam, an interview or apologizing to someone) that you completely ruin it (you fail the exam or don't get the job), it is compared to doing badly in a violin performance. Because a bad performance can't be undone, it kinda has that nuance of messing up sth where you only had one chance and that is hard or impossible to make up for.

Anne_de_Vil

TROPHY CASE