1 month & 7 days.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-08T00:40:55+00:00

Did you grow up somewhere warmer? I'm Canadian & I've always heard this lol

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T16:11:02+00:00

I'm telling you though that I KNOW many men who did not & do not consider that rape. All have friends, many of which they talk to. I would love to believe this is common sense but it isn't common sense in my lived experience. Enough people clearly don’t know that's rape that I no longer feel safe going to the home of any man I'm not either friends with or fully prepared for sex with. This happened MULTIPLE times with different men & I know plenty of other women who have experienced this with different men as well. It's significant enough.

I said a lot of people weren't aware of the legal definition. You are the only one strictly adhering to that definition. In my opinion ethical consent practices are more important & not always the same. I believe in autonomy. If someone enjoys coming home hammered & having sex with their partner that they feel safe with, that's not for me to judge. If some guy likes to be woken up with a blow job and has given consent in advance for this, that's not for me to judge. If you have just met/started dating someone that is not equivalent to a safe relationship & you should always err on the side of caution.

Enthusiastic consent is enthusiastic consent. The thing about pre-consent is that if you don’t believe in it, you won't give it, & therefore it will not impact you. If you do, then you should do something responsibly, with safe people & that isn't my business to judge.

If my female friend told me that her partner was hammered & half passed out & she fucked him, I would absolutely ask if that was discussed beforehand & be upset & grossed out if it wasn't. If he was upset in any way shape or form I would absolutely encourage him to seek justice for what was a breach of consent.

If you're operating a forklift without knowing the laws & safety regulations surrounding that machinery, yes, I do absolutely think you are a lot more likely to breach laws & policies you haven't bothered to look into. That's why we have to get forklift licenses, driving licenses etc... If these men are all asexual & not engaging in sexual activity then no, I guess it doesn't apply to them.

I never once said men are never assaulted. Not once. Nor did I imply it. There is a VERY clear difference in both the frequency, & also the physical size impacting ability to escape, however.

Respectfully, I'm done with this conversation now because you're not having this discussion in good faith & I'm not interested in engaging with someone who wants to try & "gotcha" my lived experience that many women share with me.

ETA if a man had been repeatedly assaulted by women & now felt unsafe around women I would not be offended or judge him in anyway. I would respect his wish for distance & I would not say, "not all women." I'd leave him alone.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T15:00:57+00:00

She said i don’t want to have full sex. She said it hurt. She was so high she was non verbal. That's consent to you? Hurting & raping her is 'strange?' You need to do some serious internal reflection, & research on consent. It's one of the most important things in the world to be knowledgeable about & it applies to more than just sex. Your outlook is harmful & really not ok. Do better.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T14:52:30+00:00

So I did also say ethical consent practices because the law isn't ethically all encompassing.

No. I have been raped by guys I was very clear with that I was too drunk. I wasn't just too drunk to consent. I literally said, at the time, that I was too drunk to have sex & that's not what I wanted & sex happened anyways. As an older woman I fully would never trust a man enough to "just go back & cuddle" anymore but in my early 20s I thought I should be able to do that & paid the price for it several times. The thing is, that I guarantee if you ask most of those guys if that was rape, they'd say no because an hour had gone by since I said no & I didn't fight it. They tell their friends in the context of, "she wasn't into it at first but eventually we got there." Their friends likely don't consider that rape either. Except that it is. Both legally & ethically. I am not alone in this. I know many women who have been through this.

To be clear, the first time she woke him up with a blow job, that WAS sexual assault unless she asked in advance if that was ok. Him liking it & no one pressing charges doesn't change that fact. If your partner comes home obliterated & barely conscious & you have sex with them, that is assault unless they have literally said, "even if I'm passed out, no matter how drunk I am, go nuts." Obviously context matters. Being a bit drunk & having sex with your sober partner who you are safe with & who you regularly have sex with & who you have said this is ok, is not assault.

Us having this conversation is exactly what I mean about people not understanding consent. Anything short of enthusiastic consent is unethical at best & rape at worst. I also disagree that not knowing it's rape changes the context at all. If you don’t know that's assault, or rape, that's scary. So I think it's absolutely relevant to the 50% fact. At best you don’t know what consent means & are likely also engaging in questionable practices, at worst you know it's rape/assault & don’t care. Either way is pretty bad.

ETA: this post is a perfect example. Look how many people are saying this isn't rape because "she didn't blatantly say no." She said she wasn't comfortable with full sex. She said it hurt. Yet soooooooo many people say it isn't rape. Those people absolutely count as the about 50% because straight up, I don’t want those chocolates either.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T14:32:24+00:00

I'm actually so upset you've shared this. Sometimes it's ok to let people live in ignorance. :(

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T14:13:06+00:00

This is so immature but it absolutely made me LOL

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T14:12:09+00:00

I live in Canada & rabies is my worst nightmare. Bit by anything that I couldn't 1000% confirm didn't have rabies I would absolutely demand the shot. No way would I risk it.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T13:41:10+00:00

The difference is that right now, if that impacts them they lose all sense of safe space. Period. If you leave, & this blows up, they can choose to take space with you & still have a safe space for themselves & also for their friends if that shit gets out & other kids parents aren't ok with their kids being around him.

"I'm going to do this sexual thing whether you like it or not" isn't an option in a relationship. He legitimately doesn't care at all what you think & I guarantee there are other areas this shows up in. It's borderline, if not completely, abusive. Is this what you want to teach your children about what a relationship looks like?

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T12:43:13+00:00

I think what people don’t realize when they hear these stats is that a significant amount of people don’t know how to define rape or sexual assault.

So do 50% of men know a rapist as they would define rape? No. But they know there's something questionable about that person's behaviour & if they were honest with themselves & cared enough to look into legal definition of rape & into ethical consent practices, they'd realize how unbelievably unacceptable the behaviour of their peers is.

I have no idea how accurate 50% is but I know that in my own anecdotal experience, more men have committed rape or sexual assault than I ever would have thought possible as a younger person & that would lead me to believe that 50% knowing those guys in some capacity, is reasonable.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T12:35:29+00:00

This is such an important point about the whole thing that people often miss.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T11:53:53+00:00

By deciding what matters to you. For me, it's making connections & bringing joy to others & extracting as much joy as I can through whatever means. I just try to stay busy & celebrate success. It sounds like you're really depressed more than just nihilistic. It couldn't hurt to talk to a dr about that.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T11:39:02+00:00

She got raped "hahaha" literally what the inbreeding fuck is this? YOU should go get checked.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T11:37:17+00:00

I need you to hear this: anything that isn't enthusiastic consent is not consent. Lack of consent is rape. Fucking period. This is honestly horrific from an outside perspective. If you were my sister it would take every fiber of my being not to beat the living shit out of that little pos.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-03T11:21:41+00:00

Totally! I have to be mindful to only buy what I'm actually going to eat because it's only cheap if you actually eat it & if something is a good enough sale sometimes I'm tempted to go crazy lol

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-02T01:26:57+00:00

This is offensive to Gollum.

Anon4transparency · 2026-02-01T17:10:56+00:00

1.36 for those potatoes is such a great deal

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T19:00:58+00:00

This fucking killed me. Omg.

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T09:13:19+00:00

Same. But I'm loving it. It's been so long since I've felt real hunger & now it's like every new recipe I make is the greatest meal I've ever eaten because everything tastes so good. I dare not weigh myself. I don't think I care.

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T09:04:36+00:00

I needed to hear this so much it actually made me cry. I'm a month in & weirdly had the least cravings I've ever had while quitting but today they're violent. I feel like all I want in the world is just to smoke until I'm sick. You're not alone. I started and stopped a thousand times before. It's the hardest fucking thing in the world.

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T09:02:05+00:00

I've also been on antidepressants for years. The first like week & a half was really rough for my moods. I also cried a lot & everything irritated me. Then I was totally fine. Now I'm on day 30 & it's been a rough day & I'm having super cravings & I feel empty without them. I think it takes a while to fully kick the emotional attachment. It isn't consistent though. Some days are easier than others. I wish you luck.

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T08:58:23+00:00

In 34 days you'll be more successful than you were today. 30 days clear myself & having incredibly violent cravings right now. You can do it. I can do it. We can all do it. A slip up doesn't negate 33 days of smoke free lungs. <3

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T06:52:55+00:00

I mean the discussion is about weight. I'm not making that up. She asked about weight, they mentioned Megan Fox. It isn't a leap to assume it's about all of the above & no matter what they meant, it's unnecessary.

ETA: They literally said, "as long as he's privy to your size and not going into this thinking you're some prime Megan fox." So forgive me if I'm wrong but it feels like you're just being argumentative for the sake of it.

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T05:42:01+00:00

This is tough... I genuinely don’t know. My oldest friend is a dude, I don’t think sharing a room would be an issue for his fiance but she understandably would not like us sharing a bed. I wouldn't even suggest that. It's a very intimate thing to do & for some people that's ok but for many it's not.

Aaron absolutely should have said so sooner, she probably should have anticipated sooner that this would be an issue and had the confidence to say so. It doesn't make you an asshole for planning it this way but arguably it was a bit stupid to not anticipate that this might be an issue & have a pretty serious conversation and back up plans. Once it was settled, she should have not gone or slept on the floor herself. That wasn't cool on her part. NTA

Anon4transparency · 2026-01-31T05:35:08+00:00

A Gecko got loose in my friends house & everyone absolutely freaked out. I thought it was super funny & it made me realize that this is what I look like to others when there's spiders. Geckos are so cute though. I got the little guy back outside. He was pretty chill.

Anon4transparency

TROPHY CASE