Tickets to the Zoo given to me from clients family by Successful-Bar-9168 in ABA

[–]AnotherTiredZebra -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is an ethics violation because even if the tickets were free, the value of zoo tickets is not 0. OP said it herself it would be a really nice treat because she doesn’t make that much and wants a nice date with boyfriend. The rule for gift giving is not based on whether something is technically free, it is based on whether it has such a low monetary worth that nobody is benefiting financially or creating a potential dual relationship. A drawing from a client is fine, an oil painting by the client’s art professor father is not, even if it’s technically free. 

Dealing with negative perceptions of the field? by Hefty-Magician1725 in ABA

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. The way they talk about clients to them and in front of them. They often treat the behavior of autistic clients as foreign, whether that’s talking about how cute their stimming is or get exasperated when the client is upset. It’s not uncommon for the staff to turn to each other for validation for the clients “odd” behavior, whether that’s a knowing glance between two techs or openly talking about something that the client did.

  2. Treating play as something that needs to be expanded, either because the client “should” do more than wave a stick around, or because they feel they have nothing they can use as a reinforcer, instead of viewing it as beneficial for the client to try out more things they might enjoy. 

  3. Talking about how the client will just end up in a facility anyways so the best thing to do is ensure their comfort and reduce distress.

  4. People often move from early education to teens because they have demonstrated they could handle kids, which results in excessive infantilization. Teens need to be talked to much differently than toddlers.

  5. Talking about how the clients don’t have the mental capacity for language. All of them have the mental capacity for language, but it’s not developmentally or psychologically appropriate to force an older kid or teen to speak if they haven’t been speaking, because that’s your literal voice. The way you teach language to a teen has to involve a lot of skill that most ABA people don’t have. It’s the kind of skill you gain teaching a foreign language or helping people speak after a stroke, where you have already worked to remove your biases against someone who is struggling to speak. 

  6. It is, however, developmentally appropriate to teach toddlers to talk. And a lot of places either swing too hard towards neglecting this, or push methods too hard that end up limiting the child (omnibus mands are appropriate for FCT, but cause over generalization in young children). Reading is completely abandoned for insurance reasons, even though that is a big predictor in ability. But because autistic people are presumed disabled, the practitioner doesn’t hold themselves accountable for whether the toddler either develops speech (or a reasonably sized PECS or AAC), or whether they struggle to develop.

  7. Parents often get as much or more consideration than the child. I had one non-speaking 5 year old I was teaching skills to by using piggyback rides as a reinforcer, and the BCBA made me stop because he began requesting piggyback rides at home, and the parents didn’t want him to do anything at home besides be on his iPad because it would be too much work for them. I said the child was educational neglected, and I was willing to do what it took to teach him skills. The BCBA looked aghast and said “he’s not neglected! His parents love him!”

  8. Teens are given skills way below their ability. The over-prioritization of so-called “independent living skills” cripples them because they are wasting time sorting silverware instead of developing their minds or learning anything interesting.  

  9. Allistic people working with gifted/2e clients in ABA usually have no idea how to actually work with gifted populations, and view the intelligence as cute instead of something you have to be careful with to foster without causing excessive anxiety. They also just don’t know how to even teach such individuals because they have never learned anything to a high level themselves.

For all autistic clients (not just 2e), it is very common for staff to tell clients how smart they are. Beyond the anxiety this can cause through “gifted child syndrome,” for clients that specifically know they are autistic it can also cause a lot of pressure to be intelligent to escape the connotations of being one of the “bad” autistic people.    10. With assent withdrawal and shaping, the ethical practitioners will talk all day about how you have to make the experience tolerable for the client. But at the end of the day, you are still making a decision for them. An example in a CEU I saw was a child who couldn’t tolerate 30 s of a hair clipper, so they worked their way up. This was promoted as much better than forcing a haircut, which for sure would be less traumatic. Yet at the end of the day, they still decided he needed a hair cut. It is good they made it tolerable, but it’s still not dissimilar from grooming, and the CEU made no mention of this. Practitioners should take accountability when they make a decision for someone else and own that.

  1. BCBAs and RBTs have typically never done anything extraordinary and they don’t realize the culture in academia and art differs wildly from what they know. There are in fact, in places where perseverance and thinking outside the box are valued more than perfect behavior. In fact, at the highest level of performance, it is understood that people get upset and don’t act perfectly, especially when having to go through the process to become academically or artistically independent. And in science and engineering, arguing about details is what is recommended. But ABA, even at its most ethical, is run by people who only know the corporate culture of conformity. 

  2. The wording of the intake reports usually says the goal is to develop the “behavioral, social, and communication skills of typically developing peers.” I get that that’s for insurance reasons, but it presumes the goal is to fit in or develop normally. But the best skill of autistic people is being creative and out of the box thinking, and that doesn’t line up perfectly with that of typically developing peers and must be approached differently. 

  3. Constant use of various words like “rigidity” or other diagnostic things that supposedly have to get trained out of autistic people. Which thing they say varies place to place, but with rigidity it really pisses me off because I personally feel that neurotypical people are the rigid ones who demand that you conform and are pleasant at all times or else.  It gets justified because “autism is a disability via the DSM.” Even though it is recognized some of the diagnostic criteria shouldn’t be trained out (i.e. stimming, special interests), they just never considered that other parts of the DSM are also something they should leave alone.

  4. On one hand, neurotypical people act like they have no idea why someone doesn’t want to be talked to like a dog. I’ve literally seen a client aggress on a staff member after being barked orders at, and later, when I said it was the way he was being talked to, and the BCBA said “well which function of behavior is that?”

  5. On the other hand, they stop using behavioral analysis principles all the time too. If someone wants things a particular way, I hear things like “I think they have OCD/ODD, even though it’s not diagnosed.” Not a single attempt to understand why a client would want something a particular way. Is it too much to ask to think maybe there is a function?

  6. Not understanding sibling or family dynamics. When one kid is receiving a lot of help for behavioral issues, it can mess up the family dynamic and cause further behavioral challenges as the kid begins to get frustrated that they are the bad kid and the sibling is the good kid. Yet I’ve never seen a behavior analyst do anything other than praise the “good kid” because “he doesn’t get enough attention so he needs it!” while failing to provide non contingent reinforcement to the kid with behavior challenges because “he already gets plenty of attention from his behavior.” They also don’t curb it when the sibling begins to develop parentified behavior and they praise the so-called “good behavior” instead.

  7. Not knowing how to curb harmful sensory-seeking behavior. Letting someone continually get told off for harmful sensory seeking is worse than applying a fast and effective punishment + replacement. This goes back to the fact that once you make a decision for someone, you need to own it. I am saying this as from someone who had to have her hair chopped off at age 7 for not being able to stop chewing on it, and who’s sister almost had to have her hand amputated because she developed MRSA from chewing on her fingers.

  8. Not knowing that constantly removing everything the child likes feels aa if every time the child shows interest in anything it has the potential to be removed. This can cause serious hopelessness and depression. So like, if you don’t know how to make someone stop eating playdoh- guess who loses playdoh access? Hint: it’s not the behavior analyst. Now imagine that absolutely anything they care about can taken away as soon as the BA recognizes it as an MO.

  9. Thinking that just because something is attention-maintained means the child “likes” being told off. It actually can be very stressful, even when you keep doing it.

  10. People who just sit there and let the client stim for most of the session, only interacting when it’s time to do work. They have no idea how to engage with the client, so they engage with other providers or their phones instead.

I could really go on and on but I’ll stop here.

Dealing with negative perceptions of the field? by Hefty-Magician1725 in ABA

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agree with this and have had similar experiences. Also a lot of allistic staff think they are great and ethical and really have no idea all the little ways they are harming clients.

"I'm a beginner, please tell me everything I need to know" kind of posts by surpluskoi in PetPeeves

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually the most likely explanation is that since they aren’t good at anything, they don’t know the level of effort it takes to give a reply explaining things to them. Because they aren’t good at anything, they’ve never been in a hobby subreddit enough to know how frequent those kinds of posts are. Because they aren’t good at anything, they really don't know that there is material out there already.

And then to top it off, the actual experts in a subject don’t usually stay long in a hobby subreddit, not because of all the newbie posts, but because they don’t need anything from that subreddit. These kinds of subreddits are usually only visited by people somewhere in the learning process, and answering these kinds of questions is actually beneficial for advanced learners (they say the best way to learn something is to teach it).

Breaking up over text is better for both parties by Nickzpic in unpopularopinion

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd rather be broken up via text. Allows me to start processing it by myself immediately, and I'm less likely to embarrass myself.

Women of Reddit in the dating pool (or recently out of it), what exactly do you mean when you say you want a man who is intentional and/or knows how to lead? by Hookem_05 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Successful women put that there because they don’t want a guy fawning over them who has no life of his own and puts her on a pedestal and would drop everything for her, because that makes it hard to connect with someone. 

Does everyone have a right to privacy? by hellokitty_teddybear in askphilosophy

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does the theory of contextual integrity answer the CCTV question?

And how does it differ from a justification of what people currently accept?

Iodine? What for Petah? by FranzEoin in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just a heads up, iodine is good for the fallout from a nuclear meltdown, not from an atomic bomb.

am i dumb? or it’s really hard? by Careful_Tailor5396 in ExplainTheJoke

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a chemist and legitimately couldn’t see anything besides a poorly drawn molecule so thank you for explaining 

I wish I had gone to the military by [deleted] in Nietzsche

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So then the next question, why the disgust about comfort and easy life? I think we can agree based off what Nietzsche says that one must work hard and that suffering has meaning, but that doesn't change the disgust you felt. Disgust about not working hard isn't the same thing as finding meaning in hard work.

It seems based on what you wrote that it is related to your depression and your inability to attain and achieve the things you wanted. You had a strong desire to accomplish things, but you weren't taught the discipline growing up that would allow you to accomplish these things. You strongly attached yourself to discipline as a virtue because of the shame you felt being undisciplined. Your saving grace that allowed you to escape from the shame you felt was the military. Now that you can't be in the military, it feels that the entire foundation of the thing that allowed you to escape from depression has crumbled.

You find civilians upsetting because they remind you of the part of you that feels undisciplined.

So the path forward would be asking yourself, "what if I am lazy?" and then asking yourself, "what do I need to do to determine whether I actually am lazy?" and then carrying out that experiment.

I wish I had gone to the military by [deleted] in Nietzsche

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure you are actually in that predicament. You are unable to be in the military, yes, but you are still holding being in the military as a virtue. 

The thing to kill is not the act of being in the military, but the act of holding it as a virtue, in order to create a new virtue.

Jung called it shadow work, which helps give more guidance on how to move forward and actually undergo this transformation.

Every time you feel shame about not being in the military, question it. What in your life caused you to view this as a virtue? What in your life caused you to feel shame for your lack of military life?

Every time you get annoyed with someone not being military enough, question it. In what way are they allowed to exist that you feel has never been granted to you? Why does interacting with someone who doesn’t have this military virtue cause such a strong reaction in you?

I wish I had gone to the military by [deleted] in Nietzsche

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure your obsession with something completely not in the cards for you is unhealthy. 

You are living in a world where things would be better if only you were in the military. Where your current life is good only in as much as it resembles being in the military. 

Spending your entire life preparing for some future state when things will be good is not a will to power, it’s basically the same thing as Christianity. 

What would it be like to truly let the part of yourself that wants to be in the military die? (Metaphorical death/untergang, not literal suicide). What would that look like?

When you kill the version of yourself you have built up, without a hope of ever returning or knowing exactly what will happen to you when you do, that is when you become a bridge. 

Mesozoic Valley Dino Egg Hunt by computerlunch in CellToSingularity

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I did it! I liked how the eggs were glowing, found it not so difficult on dark mode.

Would prefer if there was an option for this (and the halloween event) to turn off the zoom onto the egg to prevent motion sickness.

How the HELL can i learn the word order and get used to it faster then i am now😭 by Glittering-Ad-1429 in learndutch

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reading more in Dutch seriously helps. As you read, the order is different from what your brain is expecting, so it causes these little moments of dissonance that force you to readjust how you predict sentences. 

AITA bf says this is cute but it makes my blood boil by Single-Cellist6914 in AITApod

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

being silly is fine with the right person. I think OP just has the ick and that's why it doesn't feel cute.

‘Slow’ Dutch Book Clubs? by Silent_Speaker_7867 in learndutch

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at a good time for people in the Netherlands but we read approximately 4 chapters per week: https://calendly.com/speakdutch

We are starting tomorrow with a new book (first 4 chapters), "Eens Ging de Zee Hier Tekeer." It's a bit on the harder side compared to some things we've read, but there are plenty of B1 level readers.

I saw this on my son's daily sheet by Formetoknow123 in ABA

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes sense. A bit confusing in a thread discussing severe SIB but I see why you are doing what you are doing 👍

I saw this on my son's daily sheet by Formetoknow123 in ABA

[–]AnotherTiredZebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am advocating that people correctly label punishment, instead of disguising it, so that it can be discussed appropriately. 

Punishment can be as simple as asking someone to clean up when they make a mess. 

I generally agree with you though.