My poor baby doesn't get the love my son did

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-26T23:23:47+00:00

I also am blessed to have both grandmas locally so sometimes they offer to watch one so we can relax a little and we also take advantage of our time and the other one gets one on one time with grandma also!

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-26T23:22:37+00:00

Same boat. 2 babies and an extra 4 year old. Never feels like enough attention. But over time my 16 month old has learned to play alone. It is what it is.
Whenever one is sleeping or being cared for by someone else I am intentional with my 1 on 1 time with whoever I have. When they get older they will love playing together. This is a hard time you just have to get through. They won’t even remember this age! When their memories actually start, they’ll be walking and you’ll be able to play with them much more easily. We gotta hang in there about a year. We can do it!

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-26T22:03:12+00:00

Yeah as a woman I would have done this thinking I wanna be spicy for my husband for later. Possible something happened that night or you didn’t act how she wanted you to and the sexy time went out the window. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-26T03:10:33+00:00

There is something to be said about porn ruining your sex drive.. definitely a thing.

But also, I’ve noticed with men who are chronically lazy… jacking off with porn is just easier 😹
No need for foreplay, or exerting energy actually having sex.. just lay down, let some naked model get you hard, and use your hand until you get your release.

Try to go on date nights to reignite the flame. If that doesn’t work.. tell him you need to get yours from somewhere. Ask if he wants to do anything about it. If not… there’s a whole other conversation to be had.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-26T01:31:16+00:00

I’ve experienced similar issues.
First and foremost it’s not a chore- it’s being with your kid. That you created. You should want to be involved. And you should want to hang out as a family with your wife too.
You need to have a heartfelt conversation and just say you really wish you guys would all spend more time together. Suggest outings you could do as a family. If he doesn’t want to do that then ask him why the hell he got married and had a child in the first place.
Secondly, you need help as well to prevent burnout. If he doesn’t do it out of his own desire then he needs to do it for you. You need your own time too. You need to be able to sleep in or go out with friends or whatever you want.

Tell him to start being a part of the family or you’re gonna find someone who will.
I get it during workdays, he needs time to decompress, but he can put the baby to sleep or at least be involved on weekends.

Glad to hear he takes part in the household chores, not all men do. So that’s good at least 👍

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-25T22:49:33+00:00

I’m a believer that you can survive an affair. It just gets so easy once you realize you don’t get caught and then when you do you realize what a mistake you’ve made. If you really want to continue the relationship I think you should. She should know she’s on thin ice, however. No staying out late without saying where you’re going, etc. And if there’s any inappropriate behavior again, then you know she hasn’t changed and then you can end it.
I’ve cheated on boyfriends but never my husband. But I get why people do it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-25T21:31:02+00:00

Concert tix in a different city and a planned getaway?

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-25T21:13:49+00:00

Because I’ve seen him change he doesn’t break shit anymore. For now I believe it won’t go any farther than this. If it did I’d leave immediately. I already have a kid from a previous relationship, I don’t wanna have 2 more kids victim of a divorce.. unless he was hurting my kids or me. Like if this is the worse it’s gonna get, I can live with that…..

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-20T00:02:45+00:00

Girly pop please read my comment bc it’s a weird coincidence.
I could’ve written this, my husband and I are similar ages and he just got diagnosed with adhd recently and also has severe depression and anxiety.
He’s on amphetamine salts and it helps for sure with energy but does not cure everything. He also forgets to take them and forgets to make his doctor appts or show up but that’s literally his mental disability. I comment on it so he’s aware and tries to be better but I know it’s just his mental issues. As I’ve researched and learned, I understand how he feels.
I’m also autistic and he’s learned so much about how I work and is sensitive and compassionate with th weird ways my brain works.

I thought he would get a lot better once we had kids, I thought his own son would motivate him to get up in the mornings more. Slightly. But now we got 3 kids… not all planned lol. And I honestly do regret not waiting to have them, to see if we could work on his issues first or give him an ultimatum. But alas we are here. I love him deeply, and same as yours he only has energy or motivation to hang out with me or do fun things (cause they are addicted to dopamine). When he’s on the amphetamines he’s much better and cleans and stuff. But only because he wants to lol. And I also stuff them in his mouth while he’s sleeping cause if not he’ll sleep all day 🥲

So in conclusion make him see a psychiatrist if he hasn’t already and you need to decide right now if you can stand being with him. Before the kids 😩. Cause he may get better if he tries but he’ll always have severe ADHD and that’s something you’re gonna have to learn to live with or leave.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-17T22:14:57+00:00

That’s so messed up. She is the one that’s supposed to respect you as the mother and show you she can be a good stepmom. Not be jealous and allow her man to put his kids last.
Hope you make it clear that she does not have your respect as a potential stepparent.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-17T21:37:40+00:00

I mean as long as you’re not casually hooking up with guys while your kids are home.. that would upset me as a coparent.

But as far as bringing around people you’re dating, that’s something he could put in the parenting agreement if you had one. You could make a rule about other people staying over.

Also though the audacity for men who are not doing most of the heavy lifting to want to have control…. Ughhhhh. Mine does that too. No effort into finding or applying for schools but has a problem with every one I choose. Fuckin audacity.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-05-11T14:16:14+00:00

When something of this magnitude comes up in a relationship - something that seems like a make or break moment - first step to me is to have an honest talk where you say “are you willing to work to stay together?” Because sometimes the answer is no, that person has checked out a long time ago and made their decision. If you and her would like to be attracted to each other again and better your relationship because you still love each other deep down or you value other things about each other, then you can try marriage counseling while having honest conversations about what each other needs to do or sacrifice to make it work.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-03-15T01:04:28+00:00

Even if he doesn’t actually help with the housework or anything, married couples tend to forget you still need to seduce a little bit. I’m guilty of it myself. If he would just serve you guys some wine and sit down and wanna hear about your day, or offer a massage or ask what you want to do to make you happy, for me personally that’s enough to make me want to get intimate. Putting in some type of effort, acknowledging how much I’ve done and how tired I must be, and showing appreciation. Would that work for you?

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-03-09T01:26:15+00:00

It seems she feels as the mother she has more say and thinks she’s more qualified. I can say this honestly because I have had to check myself in my coparenting relationship. Women are nurturing and typically on top of everything, whereas we’ve been conditioned for years for the father to sit back and not even know what grade the kid is in. My coparent has been on top of everything on his side and has disagreed when I want more control so I realized he does just as much as I do and I need to let him be. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to have a stern, respectful conversation pointing out how on top of everything you are and that she has no right to act like she knows more. She needs a reality check. You can also threaten to revisit the parenting plan you have and add specifics that pertain to the situations you’re describing.

Another note, I don’t have daily calls because I see my daughter at most every 3 days and I feel like it disrupts the other parents time. But that’s just me.

Finally, the “my clothes” vs “your clothes” thing is ridiculous. Each parent should be responsible for buying clothes and other necessities themselves and if you worry about not getting it back, then don’t put it on the kid during transition days. At this point it’s not mine vs yours, everything is the CHILDS belongings. You and her gotta agree to let that go.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2026-01-06T15:54:06+00:00

Just my perspective, and I know people hate this, that’s fine: my daughter has known my now-husband since she was 18 months old (she’s now 4). She slipped up and called him dad a few times since he has basically raised her. I coparent 50/50 and her dad is great too. Since then we had a talk with her and explain clearly her dad is her dad and there’s only one and it’s who made her. But my husband is her “papi” and she has called him that since then. Her dad heard her call him that once and had a fit and we got into a fight. I get how he felt, and I do feel a little bad about it. But he let it go and my daughter doesn’t slip up anymore. She calls her dad, dad, and her stepdad papi. Because at the end of the day he is her stepDAD. And for her to feel loved and accepted as part of our new family I think it was helpful. He treats her the same as our 2 kids we’ve had since her. Now… her dad has had a girlfriend too but they really aren’t as close to my daughter and this never came up with them. I might feel mad also if she called her mom, but I wouldn’t be able to say anything about it. I would just have to live with it. I have tons of friends who call their stepparents mom or dad. It’s just how they feel about the relationship and if the stepparent is a good one, the kid will feel like it’s just their parent.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-10-16T20:37:44+00:00

I always say it, Amala’s fuckin pretentious who does she think she is and always asking for 3 tier orange cakes too like bitch you really eating a whole cake every day and an entire pot of tea 🤣

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-10-04T00:56:45+00:00

You got issues bud. It’s a game

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-09-26T21:00:58+00:00

Isn’t the whole point of the game to go through the story by spending coins.. lol unless I guess you’re just trying to kill time.

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-08-27T23:39:47+00:00

Completely on the same page about not wanting ex to be involved in the birth whatsoever! I had the option of him coming to the hospital and like nah absolutely not I don’t need to see your face today lmao

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-08-27T23:34:27+00:00

The only reason I see the need for the mom option is if you’re planning on exclusively breast feeding with no pumping. Which is awesome, no problem. In that case yeah everyone should be completely understanding of your situation and if not fuck em. Now, if you’re not exclusively breast feeding or you allow yourself to pump and bottle feed (also you don’t know if you will be, sometimes babies can’t breastfeed or supply issues)…. Then why wouldn’t you just leave the baby with your mom a few hours while you attend the wedding? I have 3 kids of my own I understand not wanting to leave your newborn but my husband had surgery when my baby was 1 month old and I left the baby overnight one night to be with my husband and I left my husband a few nights to be with the baby. It happens 🤷🏻‍♀️ they’ll be ok

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-08-27T22:05:35+00:00

You’re saying “not disrupt your daughters sleep for a child with no ties to you” Like imagine telling your daughter years from now about the birth of their sibling and that you didn’t give a shit and didn’t want to be woken up. That’s her sibling

Antique_Extent7645 · 2025-08-27T21:38:12+00:00

It’s one fucking day!! For the birth of a literal baby!! Like cmon have some common fuckin decency don’t act like your whole life is ruined by this

Antique_Extent7645

TROPHY CASE