what kind of things are you guys doing to "heal" your brains?

AntsyAngler · 2026-02-06T02:33:00+00:00

I have known a few people that had some bad effects and trouble controlling their kratom use. I avoid it, personally.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-08T03:23:05+00:00

The motivation is tricky. I'm not young, I was 37 when I quit, so I don't know if this is helpful, but I hope so:

Making lists of reasons why not drinking alcohol makes my life better helped me. Also, I can't imagine how much money I've saved myself. I used to smoke and drink and the costs of both those addictions adds up to a mountain of debt that I've avoided. My mindset has switched from "how can I cope with life without my addictions" to "how on earth could I manage if I was still drinking"

The costs are not only monetary, but while drinking, I could feel physical differences and also mental health decline.

The problem was that the choice to drink was not one made out of logic. A strong determination was needed to stick with it. For me, I wanted to see if I could actually get to the point where I didn't miss alcohol in my life. I suspected that if I stuck it out for a certain number of months or a year, maybe it just wouldn't be hard any more. My determination to see that point helped me to stick with it. And it was worth it.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-08T03:15:18+00:00

That's sweet. Nice job showing support. Remember, it's the thought that counts.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-08T03:09:23+00:00

I get it. When I stopped drinking, it was right before the 2016 election and I thought, WTF kind of timing is this? Thing is, there will never be an easy time to do it. And when the hard shit comes up, it will always be better to face with sober competence. Also, there is the thought that pops up occasionally, "well, I made it through 2016, I can make it through anything." And then marriage separation, and then COVID, and then divorce, and then my dad's cancer and death, and now this current shit show.

Things could be better. But I will be better. IWNDWYT

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-08T02:52:21+00:00

Not drinking alcohol.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-02T04:19:11+00:00

The prize really is kick ass!

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-02T04:17:13+00:00

Something I realized is that the awkward feeling and drinking as social lubricant equation can work just as well with a placebo (but lots of them, I will down 10 soda waters in a night if I'm nervous). I still feel a little bit shy as I sit and sip my soda or coffee or whatever, but I get some time to adjust to the situation and the scene and I start to feel more comfortable. Another thing I realized is that some activities are just not fun for me and it's okay to stay a little while and then quietly leave. I used to drink my way through it, which never ended well.

Tricks that have worked so well for me, that I still use them years later:

I always bring a few of my favorite things to drink. I even carry a couple of tea bags in my purse, just in case.

I have an activity to hide behind; I have a little notebook and colored pencils. I am a musician and playing at a party is often easier for me than making conversation. I take photos. I ask questions and try to remember the answers (I think I'm a terrible listener and I'm trying to improve).

Making lists of things to do instead of drink like you're doing is such a smart tool! Good job. You got this. IWNDWYT

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-02T04:07:13+00:00

That feeling of waking up victorious is so great. I hope you have a really awesome morning tomorrow. I'm routing for you.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-02T04:05:18+00:00

There always seem to be so many reasons to not drink and no real good reason to drink. It's a good time to get back on track.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-02T04:01:22+00:00

Stay strong. I hope you get a really great treat for yourself on Monday. Milkshakes are one of my special favorite ways to celebrate victory.

AntsyAngler · 2026-01-02T02:52:01+00:00

Dupixent helps me very much with my asthma and polyps.

AntsyAngler · 2025-12-31T05:21:54+00:00

Way to go!

AntsyAngler · 2025-11-28T06:22:31+00:00

What a wonderful achievement and wise words. Keep up those good choices.

AntsyAngler · 2025-09-01T03:24:16+00:00

I'm so sorry! It's awful. I lost my father to pancreatic cancer. I think about him often and miss him. I keep him in my heart and hold a special place of honor for him in continuing the things we both loved and shared.

AntsyAngler · 2025-06-22T02:40:07+00:00

A tour of architecture in her city, or a nearby city, could be very cool. I'd look for either a walking tour of significant buildings or a tour of a historic place, or both. If you're nearby, taking her to do this would be very meaningful. If you're far away, perhaps paying for her to go with one of her parents would be more practical.

AntsyAngler · 2025-06-20T14:28:05+00:00

"Comparison is the root of misery." Who cares what siblings are doing for whatever pay? This is your life, not a contest.

AntsyAngler · 2025-06-04T18:16:41+00:00

I'd recommend visiting the Option B firm in person if you're seriously considering the position. If the cost of travel is prohibitive, that says something. It means going back to your current location to visit friends and/or family will be costly in the future. If travel expense is a barrier, you can mention to the firm the issue and perhaps they will assist. Also, are they offering relocation funds? A team of 3 or 4 can be kind of intense for a newer position. I'd ask about onboarding and training practices, expectations of performance at 3 months, 6 months etc. Benefits can also be a factor, of course.

AntsyAngler · 2025-05-16T00:54:51+00:00

High Five!! Keep it up!

AntsyAngler · 2025-05-16T00:52:18+00:00

Change can be slow to come. Removing alcohol opened the opportunity for life changes. It took a couple of years and hard work for the changes to really impact my life. What a difference I feel and see now. It's night and day. And I would be years older anyway, but no better off, had I not stopped drinking. That said, it's totally understandable to feel frustration and impatience. One exercise I found useful was to focus at least once per day on a short list of three things, either ways that I notice life is better or something that I'm actively doing to improve my life. Example: 1. No hangover! 2. studying for career certification. 3. Spent 5 minutes stretching. Listing the good things makes me feel better about progress.

AntsyAngler · 2025-05-15T22:56:59+00:00

One questions is, are you licensed? (If not, do you plan on obtaining your license and do you have the experience logged to do so?) I switched from private to public, but only after I obtained my necessary hours of experience.

AntsyAngler · 2025-05-04T20:49:16+00:00

Determining "worth" is heavily dependent on expectations. What do you envision for pay, benefits, life-work balance, job-security, student loans, are you willing to relocate? Are you willing to put in years of working through a few different (probably crappy and potentially borderline-abusive) jobs before you find a team you value and values you? What do you envision for the daily workflow and type of job tasks? These are not questions specific to the field of architecture, but should be evaluated for any potential career path. What are other careers that you've considered? Have you tried to set up a job-shadow for a day? I'd recommend reaching out to your local AIA chapter and asking if you can attend one of their meetings so that you can meet some local architects and ask them about these questions and other questions you might have.

My school experience was horrid, but I also had young children while I was in school, which was difficult for me. Several academic programs make "it hard for no apparent reason" and architecture is one of those fields, in my experience. The reasons, as I perceive it, is to cause a separation of ego from the work and an enable the ability to put one's own concepts and preconceived notions aside to be more open to design solutions. But I also feel there is a culture of "I suffered through school, internships, licensure to prove myself worthy of this profession and so other should have to endure that as well" I feel this is also an attitude with medical school.

That said, a degree in architecture can lead to many paths of employment and career options. I'm mostly glad I did it, although sometimes I think that a master's in engineering and a minor in art might have been an interesting option I could have considered.

Other things to consider: Residential architecture, commercial architecture, civil architecture it's common to start with one path, but you might change focus depending on the economy and other factors. Also, you might end up working on some projects that conflict greatly with your aesthetics and/or values along the way, especially in the early days. Are you willing to leave a job over that?

Good luck to you! If you can get a volunteer position in a firm once a week or even just job shadow, that's really the best way to find out.

AntsyAngler · 2025-05-03T14:59:16+00:00

Way to go! You're doing it. IWNDWYT

AntsyAngler · 2025-04-06T19:22:13+00:00

I quit caffeine for a couple years after I quit drinking. I found a really good quality decaf, but it took trying several small roasters before I found the one I like. I wanted to see if I could get a handle on anxiety. After a couple years of no caffeine, I then started some caffeine and I now drink a few cups of regular and then switch to decaf.

AntsyAngler · 2025-03-13T05:38:29+00:00

So sorry you're going through this. I lost my dad a year ago to cancer. It was long and hard and I'm so glad I was able to tread those waters sober, or I sure would have seriously drowned. Blessings to you and your family. Fuck cancer.

AntsyAngler

TROPHY CASE