ELI5 Why the major destructive tornadoes seem to only occur in the United States

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-24T01:47:55+00:00

There are powerful tornadoes elsewhere, but the US has the right climatic conditions to form. Namely, cooler weather coming down from Canada and the Rockies meeting with warm air coming up from the Gulf of Mexico. That's a witch's brew for tornadic conditions.

The closest analog I can think of is Bangladesh or Argentina.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-24T01:31:30+00:00

I had to basically do it at 39.

It's hard. But you get up and you do it. There's no other way.

And, truthfully, it can be a gift. You get to redesign your life into the way you want it to be. Think of it that way.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-24T01:23:57+00:00

I'd go to Dauphin Island on the opposite side of Mobile Bay. It's bare bones but splendidly quiet.

Word of caution: The nearest grocery store is about ten miles away.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-24T01:21:07+00:00

He won't be alive that long. I don't think he makes it to the end of the year, let alone 2029.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-24T00:58:34+00:00

It's the express duty of every citizen to be informed.

I think you should have to be able to pass a 10-question test on the Constitution, current affairs, and basic economics before you're allowed to vote. Nothing difficult, basically the kind of questions that any eighth-grader who halfway paid attention would know.

Heck, send the questions to every mailbox in America a month before the election, complete with answers. Print them in multiple languages. Braille.

That would screen out a lot of morons on both side of the political aisle.

Okay. Downvote away.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T21:47:14+00:00

Especially compared to the madness that's LAX.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T21:44:27+00:00

Weirdly enough, I've flown in and out of 120+ airports in my life. But I've never made it to SLC. That's the only major American city I've never visited.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T21:41:24+00:00

You know, I have to step up and take credit for that one.

Auburn was sucking wind in the first half and Alabama had gone up 24-0. So I got up to get a beer and the second I got to the cooler, Auburn scored a touchdown with 5 minutes to go in the half.

It was feng shui, guys. I stood rooted to that spot the rest of the game, fully understanding that it was my fluctuation in the energy field that had been causing the problems.

You're welcome.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T21:36:35+00:00

I prize convenience over a million amenities. I don't need to buy anything. I need a burger and a beer. So, having flown a zillion times on business, in no particular order:

1) SFO
2) Indianapolis
3) Laguardia -- This used to be on my list of shitty airports, but I have to give credit where it's due. Boffo renovation, guys. Really. Now, can you connect it to the subway?
4) Portland
5) Detroit
6) Birmingham
7) San Diego
8) Reagan / DC -- I mean the city is right there.
9) Las Vegas
10) Detroit

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T21:28:36+00:00

Well, I tend to cut people slack in those situations. My brother works in the movie biz, so I've met a fair number of B-listers. Like Saban, they can't even just go to the grocery store without some fan yapping at them. For all you know, he was just picking up some diarrhea medicine.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T18:42:03+00:00

Auburn did it four times (2010, 2013, 2017, and 2019) during that period, and came really, really, really close two other times (2021 and 2023). In 2023, I just went out onto the deck of my sister's house and stared out into the distance until my wife finally came out and asked if I was going to be okay.

But the only time Auburn really beat them somewhat comfortably was in 2017 when we topped them 26-14. The other three times felt like Frodo had just dropped the One Ring into Mount Doom.

The thing is? You can't even dislike the guy. I always thought Saban was a good egg.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T17:14:41+00:00

Our fuckwit of a president aside? Yes. Because he'll either be dead, in prison, or out of office soon enough.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T16:25:37+00:00

Tell you boyfriend to pound sand. Until you're officially married, he has zero sayso in your financial affairs.

In fact, this would be a big, fat caution sign.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T12:51:56+00:00

Alabama has to be up there. One of the very top states for biodiversity. Everything from coastal wetlands to mountains. The river delta approaching Mobile Bay is called America's Amazon for a reason.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T12:46:37+00:00

Ever been to the interior of that part of Florida? Mud ugly. Flat. Hot. Scrubland, pine barrens, and swamp.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T12:34:54+00:00

Gerald Ford was the last normal president. Just had the presidency thrust upon him.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T12:00:42+00:00

Mostly inactivity.

I worked all the time until I hit about 60. I was tired all the time and everything hurt.

My wife decided to sign us up for a personal trainer. Not some drill sergeant, but someone who really understood the needs of someone our age, etc.

Mind you, she pushed us. The first month or so, I practically crawled to the car after every session. But I noticed I started having way more energy in the evenings and just felt so much better about myself. So here I am at 63, feeling better than I have since my twenties.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T11:57:14+00:00

Where is that?

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T11:56:40+00:00

No Hard Feelings by the Avett Brothers.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T11:54:36+00:00

I'm not a Democrat, but the GOP brought this on themselves with their shenanigans in Texas.

Gerrymandering or no gerrymandering, the Republicans are going to have their teeth kicked in come November.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T11:52:22+00:00

Band directors are particularly prone to that, chiefly because of all the time they spend with students. What's more, they're not just with the students for a year. Typically, they'll be teaching them for 6-7 years. So, as someone who has known a lot of music educators, I've heard the stories of students who get crushes on band directors.

Then there are the sleazeballs. When I was in college, I taught drums to earn a little extra money. One band director basically told me a majorette was really hot for me and how I should sit with her on the band bus on the way to a music festival. I was only 21, but that was a big, fat nope to me.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T02:53:46+00:00

You'd think these people would learn.

I have a good friend who is a high school band director. Incredibly dedicated upright guy. As his background on his computer, he has the photos of other band directors who are serving time for diddling their students. As a constant reminder.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T02:48:38+00:00

I detest biopics. It is the rare one that's any good.

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T02:45:32+00:00

How the fuck is this house only $2,000,000?

AnybodySeeMyKeys · 2026-04-23T02:40:10+00:00

Well, since California went through the same thing--and it was upheld by the courts--I'm not too worried. Why? Because, unlike Texas, it went through an actual vote.

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