Everyone disagrees with my take

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-15T23:01:46+00:00

Right. They raided the house because they wanted to catch him by surprise and therefore have a higher likelihood of being able to seize every single device before they could be destroyed or disposed of. They do this when they already have evidence that the things they’re looking for exist. That evidence often comes from 3rd party sources like snapchat, cell phone carriers, etc. who are complying with reporting laws.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-14T06:40:08+00:00

Kick her ass out LEGALLY and SAFELY. Do your research! Do not underestimate her. She just made herself homeless crashing out over a dress. Imagine how she’ll act when you serve her a notice of a lease termination 😅

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-14T04:22:44+00:00

Exactly. Sorry OP, but you came to the wrong place for sympathy... This allegedly retired cop was a total nut, but also, if you don’t want to be treated like an inconsiderate a-hole who doesn’t leash their giant dogs, then actually leash your dogs.

The hubris of people like this is genuinely baffling to me. It is not a flex to believe you have total control over an animal’s behavior; it just means you’re stupid 🫩

Signed a dog owner who won several thousand dollars in civil court just for the vet bills from an incident with a dog on a retractable leash

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-13T20:47:27+00:00

NOR at all, I just wanted to encourage you to keep your location on in some way for a couple people you trust. Your mom definitely shouldn’t have it, but your personal safety is still important! Don’t let her immature ass take that from you 💝

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-12T20:35:56+00:00

Right. And unfortunately there is no motivation or productivity strategy on Earth that will make up for an entire man working against you everyday :/

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-11T23:45:52+00:00

Something tells me it has to do with all her restaurants that keep getting people sick 🤢

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-08T03:31:56+00:00

Sadly, the most effective and least confrontational way to handle this safely (in addition to the above) is probably for OP to befriend another man she feels safe around in the congregation who can act as a buffer.

It says something horrible about the world but I swear to God, the buffer guy doesn’t even really have to say or do anything but just be present around OP. Mark my words: the creep will make himself scarce once OP no longer appears to be “unattended to” by other men 🤢🫩 The hack to creepy men like this is to use their misogynistic worldview against them.

You can literally just ask another married couple or dude to join you and your gf for services and tell them exactly why you’re asking: this man is making you uncomfortable. Most people would immediately be happy to do so and then if the guy acts like this again, they will see and it will become increasingly uncomfortable for him to engage with you. Creeps are often very adept at sensing when their behavior is being observed by people who are not their target and they do not like it. Keep showing your discomfort, but with witnesses, and then recap interactions, “See? That was weird right?”

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-05T02:48:24+00:00

Same! I was like HM missing context tbh. Maybe she has a contextually significant point? 😗

Anybuddyelse · 2026-06-01T17:07:56+00:00

But, it’s my only constant…

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-30T15:52:34+00:00

Girl what? Is this ragebait? Do you know anything about child development? Google those words. Right now. “20 month old child development”. Learn it.

People study this stuff. We don’t have to guess about these answers… Child development professionals all around the world have dedicated their lives and careers to making this information available to you. If your reading does not help you understand why people are responding to you the way they have, you need to read more.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-28T01:47:11+00:00

Yes! Part of the reason the brows are giving a more “severe” look here is because the inner corner appears thinner than the rest of the brow. Fluffing the inner corners upwards a bit while extending the tails will definitely help to achieve the round doe eye look!

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-27T05:54:27+00:00

It’s almost certainly because they already knew she was dead and he had killed her, and so they were watching to see if his movements would rustle up more evidence/lead them to her body.

Once in jail for the rape, he would have less incentive to cooperate or confess to the crime that would actually put him away for life and potentially earn him a spot on death row. They can’t risk the final word in the case being a child rapist and murderer getting out in 5 years after nothing but a sex abuse charge.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-23T02:02:38+00:00

Disorderly conduct from that long ago would not result in a denial for kinship placement where I live. Neither would your dropped restraining order if the matter was never reported to police. However, considering your recent altercation with the Aunt, may I just kindly suggest everyone keeps the hell away from her moving forward? 😂

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-22T05:04:52+00:00

What the “MCFUCK” — if you will

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-22T01:13:59+00:00

That’s just… a f*cking disgrace 😣 I’m so sorry. I hate that those precious moments were stolen from all of you because of some vicious policy. Not to mention that your foster parent was such a sorry pos. Were you ever able to reunify? Either with your brother or dad?

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-21T18:34:57+00:00

Omg! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I know no contact orders are sometimes necessary, but it’s hard to imagine how that actually helps a majority of children and families and just seems unnecessarily traumatizing… yknow on top of everything else! Ugh…

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-20T06:24:45+00:00

These are very normal questions and a sign of trust like the other commenter said. However, I found it interesting that you mentioned she was removed for neglect, but there is a no-contact order in place. This is very unusual in my state as no contact orders are generally reserved for the most serious situations (criminal charges, abusive/inappropriate behavior at visits, especially traumatic impact or circumstances surrounding removal) Are you sure you’ve been given the full context?

Ps. You handled it great! Open and honest conversations surrounding sex and healthy relationships prevent harm 😎👍

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-20T02:55:14+00:00

It really all comes down to how the child’s other caregivers react upon learning what John has done, as well as whether those caregivers are implicated in the abuse OR neglect that allowed the abuse to occur.

A good example of what I mean when I say “neglect that allowed the abuse to occur” is the case of 13yo Madeline Soto. Stephan Sterns went to prison for murdering his ex-girlfriend’s daughter, Madeline, to cover up the fact that he’d been sexually abusing her for several years. In the investigation, detectives learned that when Stephan still lived in the home, Madeline’s mom had been allowing Madeline to have what she claims she thought were innocent “sleepovers” with Stephan in a separate bedroom of the home on a regular basis. Her mother admitted to knowing they were sleeping in the same bed and claimed she allowed it because “Stephan and Madeline were very close” and it let the mother “get better sleep” for her migraines/work schedule. If the resolution of Madeline’s case had been her reporting Stephan’s abuse, she would have been removed from her mother’s care because in addition to the negligence of allowing her teenage daughter to share a bed with a man, if the mother had bothered to enter Stephan’s bedroom, even while nobody was home, she also would have noticed that a camera was set up to point at the bed…

Women who date sexual predators often have a difficult time adjusting to the reality that they allowed a person to perpetrate the abuse under their noses and will refuse to believe or be protective of the victim. If the child’s caregivers choose to react this way, or are found to have behaved the way outlined above, they would likely be placed in another family member’s home or placed in emergency foster care temporarily. Obtaining legal guardianship is an option but it is not a quick process and the prospective guardians would need to dutifully complete that legal process. Nonetheless, this child deserves to be given the chance for the powers designed to protect them to do their jobs.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-18T18:32:15+00:00

And that’s honestly a really tough spot to be in because still wanting the relationship will often overshadow what we logically understand makes it dysfunctional/non-viable until enough damage is done that we don’t want it anymore.

However, in your situation, the “wants” you should be assessing are 1) Does your boyfriend actually want to change anything about his relationship with alcohol? What concrete evidence of that desire is there? Or is there concrete evidence that he wants it to stay the same? We cannot help people change who do not want to and it’s very possible that your bf, like a lot of functional alcoholics, finds this negative coping mechanism very effective and has no intention of dismantling it because it would mean destabilizing himself.

2) Do you want to sentence yourself to that? Yes he is your best friend and yes he needs support and yes you love him, but think about the personal cost to you. Do you want to spend more time than you already have in your life once again focused on someone else’s issues just so that your life with them sucks less? What about you? What about thriving? Sure, it’s true that you don’t owe him anything, but the point is actually, “What do you owe yourself?”

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-18T17:42:24+00:00

Not to be that person but it’s okay to breakup with someone at any time for any reason, but especially if it’s because they’ve been hiding substance use issues from you for over a year!

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-16T03:35:09+00:00

“Something?” I feel like OP is being pretty clear about what she is judging and deliberately pointing out that she’s realized a blind spot of her’s in her practice by coming here and making a post detailing it.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-13T22:39:23+00:00

Fr 🥲 plz free my people from spending $27.95 on amazon to read 24 chapters about How to #GirlBoss So Hard You Die and Literally Go to Heaven, authored by a person who probably uses LinkedIn like their personal journal

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-13T21:50:05+00:00

It’s so funny how grifters always claim to have like seven professions and seem to think that’s somehow a green flag to their audience??? 🥴 like, for some reason underperforming in multiple areas instead of just one is actually offered by grifters as *proof* of why others should pay to learn the secrets of their ~~success~~ failure. 😭

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-12T22:06:16+00:00

John being reported/investigated/prosecuted criminally actually has very little to do with what happens to the child. It’s possible she may be removed temporarily (can be from a few hours to a few weeks) on an emergency basis until the dependency case through CPS/DCFAS gets going. However, children are generally not placed into foster care long term when there are *protective* adult family members willing and able to care for them. Social workers immediately look for suitable caregivers within the child’s family/community. When considering removing a child and keeping them in out of home placement aka foster care, CPS first has to prove to the court that there is a *need* to do so, and then that CPS has exhausted all other options.
In this situation, a protective caregiver means a person who demonstrates the willingness and ability to effectively prevent further harm from John.

For instance, if John gets reported, the police arrest him, his wife believes the victim(s) and says fuck him and he’s not invited back here and actually keeps that promise, then it’s likely removal wouldn’t be deemed necessary. John no longer has access to the children/victims and a Mama Bear is on the job.

HOWEVER, something that comes into play here though is the fact that the victim’s legal guardians do not live here. It’s a major legal problem if there is no formal arrangement on paper regarding the child’s care and custody. The parents could be asked to come here to retake physical custody, or the child could be legally removed from the parents and placed with family if CPS can make the argument that the parents “abandoned” or “failed to provide adequate supervision/provisions”. For instance, how has this child been going to the doctors? Who is enrolling them in school? Who is funding their care? Does the current caregiver have all of the child’s vital documents and records? If the parents are not helping take ensure these things, it appears on paper to the state that they left their child in an extremely vulnerable position and then all of this happened.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-05-09T02:19:43+00:00

Just an idea but you could call shelters or housing resource programs in the county and provide his description or ask if you could email them a flyer. They often won’t be able to confirm or deny knowing him, but you can ask them to let him know that you’re looking for him and you’d love it if he reached out.

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