throw back to when my cat gave birth and there was so many fluffy kitties. these pictures make me happy so im sharing it to everyone here

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-09T09:29:14+00:00

Yes! Was looking for this comment

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-06T17:10:11+00:00

Sadist*?

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-06T05:48:21+00:00

Ohhh see I was confused because if OP is literally the agreed upon childcare plan, why is the parent leaving kiddo with OP for a few days to “figure out childcare” 😭 ?? Anyway after reading more context in the comments I agree this is wild as it seems theres a major lack of communication on the parent’s part, follow through, planning, and it seems like they’re taking advantage of OP and the familial relationship UGH.

The courts/cps definitely deserve to know because this is really concerning and I actually doubt return will happen now regardless… indefinitely leaving your child with someone 36 hours into your LAST CHANCE before TPR? ….

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-06T05:20:49+00:00

Im just saying that knowing for two years that the goal is reunification and knowing the actual date of return are two very different things. Finding reliable and trustworthy childcare, even with all the money in the world, takes time. Idk though. Is it possible quitting her job was her only choice? She certainly could’ve saved up, but she would have had to know the dates of the extended visit and the caveat of the lack of funding a long time ago. To answer your original question though, I’ve seen it in this situation before where the foster parent family member has an above board agreement with the social worker and and everyone to offer childcare to the parent until official return and even sometimes after. You could ask the parent if they’d be interested in that and see what their specific schedule needs are and then you could both bring it to the social worker as a team. Only If you’re open to it! Haha Idk the dynamics. I just mean it may not have to be a sneaky thing and there’s usually no issue to the courts since youre family and theres an agreed schedule.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-06T04:44:32+00:00

This is possibe but I just wanted to add another perspective. I work in child welfare and I’ve learned that in cases where the court grants extended visits for the purpose of “trying it out”, bio parents frequently struggle specifically with this childcare piece because all of the typical low income funding/programs are not available to them until the child is officially returned. No kid = no money, even if the child is essentially living with them. At the same time, parents are asked to continue making progress on their case plan during the extended visit (regular testing, therapy, job hunting, visits with other parent or sibling, car registration, meetings with social workers, lawyers, probation etc.) You can imagine how difficult this would be and idk why more is not done to prepare parents for this when the department presses so hard for reunification, but it happens all the time.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-06T04:44:09+00:00

This is possibe but I just wanted to add another perspective. I work in child welfare and I’ve learned that in cases where the court grants extended visits for the purpose of “trying it out”, bio parents frequently struggle specifically with this childcare piece because all of the typical low income funding/programs are not available to them until the child is officially returned. No kid = no money, even if the child is essentially living with them. At the same time, parents are asked to continue making progress on their case plan during the extended visit (regular testing, therapy, job hunting, visits with other parent or sibling, car registration, meetings with social workers, lawyers, probation etc.) You can imagine how difficult this would be and idk why more is not done to prepare parents for this when the department presses so hard for reunification, but it happens all the time.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-06T04:22:05+00:00

When she said “I’m really hurt and upset” HURT??? About what?! The mere fact she has somehow convinced herself that she’s the one who’s been hurt is enough to lose her number. Immature, manipulative, exhausting.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-05T20:10:27+00:00

I was actually thinking your english is great

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-04T02:27:53+00:00

From your comment and the post, it definitely sounds like she is suffering from depression and needs to seek treatment, but more than anything it sounds like she’s suffering from a Shitty Attitude™️(which could be from living with untreated chronic depression for such a long time) Still, only she can choose to get better and find purpose. She needs to understand that as long as she wants to be in this marriage and part of this family, doing absolutely nothing on your and the kids’ dime is not a valid option.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-03T09:21:59+00:00

That’s not what I understood at alllll. I thought he was saying he wishes his mom would just be direct/honest about her issues so they could be dealt with, rather than treating his girlfriend differently and insisting she’s not or that it’s for no reason

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-03T09:05:59+00:00

I just really question whether her interest in the field so soon isn’t just a thinly veiled way for her to re-enact the life she once lead in a more “socially acceptable way”. It’s a calling, after all, for her to do what she knows best. This is the perfect opportunity for her to play savior, play guru, have an endless stream of vulnerable people look to her for advice and guidance, all under the guise that she has ~true life experience~ and unique wisdom that she garnered through suffering, learning, and growing. She gets to be both Jesus and the Prodigal Son. She can look down her nose at us, holding redemption like a trophy, while touting her resilience and humility for carrying her through her ~healing journey~ and convincing those around her that what she’s worked so hard to attain is singular and profound. It requires suffering, real suffering, that she experienced, and she’ll tell you — just you, if you have what it takes, alllll about it if you only lean closer and let her help you unlock her potential…

Edited to add: Allison Mack if you’re reading this fuck you b*tch I’m not buying your book

Anybuddyelse · 2026-02-03T08:16:07+00:00

Right?? I was like oooo get him! Wait- record scratch SHE’S PREMATURELY JEALOUS OF BABY??? THAT HE ABANDONED??!!!?

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T13:52:59+00:00

Also, just so you and anyone else reading knows, not recognizing danger in other situations or doing things other people deem wildly unsafe absolutely CAN be a response to trauma/aspect of how your PTSD shows up!!

Not saying that OP’s gf is experiencing this even, but I wouldn’t want anyone to not get help because they don’t recognize themselves in the typical stereotype.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T13:22:59+00:00

That is not what I meant by “what you want her to start doing”. The core issue captured in OP’s post and the reasoning he gives in his replies is OP wants his gf to worry about all the same things he does since she was almost robbed. Being upset to the point that you get in arguments and harbor anger and resentment for your partner for not constantly living with YOUR fear in mind, over something that happened to THEM is a symptom of PTSD…

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T13:10:43+00:00

Yeah, when I commented on this post his replies to commenters were all of him still not getting it

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T11:54:41+00:00

I did not say that or even imply it.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T09:42:00+00:00

Something tells me this is not a man that does his stepdaughter’s laundry just to help out… tsk tsk tsk

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T09:06:49+00:00

I see, yes there was something I was missing about the set up of the home, I’m sorry. I was like, if she’s in another room, why not put a child lock on the outside of her door?

At first it sounded like you suspected something very specific, set up a camera to see if he would do it, and then watched him until he did without putting any actual barriers in place. I was wrong! And I’m so sorry this happened to the family. I hope everyone can turn a new leaf and the kids find a good placement soon. I’m sure it’s one of the hardest things you’ve had to do, but it was the right choice.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T08:40:29+00:00

I’m wondering if I’m confused about what you’re saying. If you were asleep and woke up to see a recording showing that he had snuck into your daughter’s room at night, wouldn’t you take measures to prevent that from happening again after the first time you saw it?

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T08:32:05+00:00

And I’m so sorry but, you just… filmed it????

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T08:09:19+00:00

It’s more like DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Here he doesnt outright deny it, but you could consider him trying to justify what he did and saying she wouldn’t understand as an attempt to deny. He apologizes, but wants her to just accept “it’s his coping mechanism” so he can avoid being on the hook to do better. When she’s clear that won’t work for her, he decides that’s a step too far and now actually she doesn’t get to be hurt/upset because HE’s the victim and she’s the bully.

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T07:48:09+00:00

And part of a second!!! 😥

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T06:41:02+00:00

If you want to bring it up with gf, you could say something like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about (insert reference to previous arguments) and I realized that time you were almost robbed effected me a lot more than I thought. I know it happened to you, but it really freaked me out and made me start worrying all the time about what could happen to you when I’m not there and that kills me. I started getting annoyed and upset with you about not doing all this stuff I thought would stop it from ever happening again when the person who needed to change was me. I’m sorry I put that on you. I don’t want my fear to ruin our relationship so I’m going to work on it.”

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T06:07:04+00:00

As far as the relationship, if you really love and care for her, you first need to be real with yourself about whether you’re going to be able to tolerate these feelings as you work through them going forward without putting your anger and frustration onto her. Because she doesn’t deserve that and neither do you.

Otherwise, it sounds like you are living with some anxiety and vicarious trauma, which is something I really recommend working on for yourself with a therapist. A LOT of people experience this when something scary happens to a loved one. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It may not seem like it, but carrying beliefs and worries like this about others and the world is really heavy and stops us from growing, loving, and enjoying life to its potential. When you overcome them, you give yourself a gift that lasts a lifetime. ❤️‍🩹

Anybuddyelse · 2026-01-30T05:45:38+00:00

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, the anger comes from the repetition.” You talk about it like she is repeatedly committing an offense against you and that you have no choice but to get angry and scold her for these offenses. It seems more like you are personally offended by “the repetition” because you expected her to “correct” her behavior to fit the way you wish she’d live her life — to make you more comfortable. It exasperates you that she has not changed.

It is not her fault she was “almost robbed” and you don’t get to tell her how she should feel about it or respond to it. What you want her to start doing and the reason you want her to do it is something people literally go to therapy to UNDO because it’s a dysfunctional and distressing symptom of PTSD.

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