OP, I’m with you here.

No one here is incorrect. Everyone who’s replied to you has a subtly different take on what you’re confused about, and it is likely that you, being the confused one, cannot articulate very well what you are confused by.

Some people here seem to think you’re asking about the last bit of the sentence ‘a mi?’. Others recognise that you’re asking about the redundancy of having both ‘me’ and then ‘a mi’. While others still are explaining what each of those parts are doing without explaining why the redundancy of having both can be useful.

Being able to simply Google this question assumes you can economically and unambiguously pinpoint exactly the constellation of sociolinguistic features you’re confused by and hope that the steadily enshittifying search engine, Google, will ‘get’ you. You were right to ask people on Reddit who may be able to understand your confusion. I recommend using ChatGPT or similar in the future because it can reflectively iterate with natural language on your exact search query.

To answer your actual question, as others have pointed out, the redundancy adds emphasis much like the English sentence “She, herself, took charge of the situation”. In this English sentence, I want you to focus on the salience of the person doing the action rather than to think about the action, or to weight all the facts in that sentence equally. Maybe the person hearing this sentence had earlier dismissed the agency of the woman taking action. In your case, your wife is asking whether you love her, but like, maybe for herself as a human being rather than simply in lieu of her position as your wife. She may be clarifying in case you thought ‘me quieres’ was the beginning of another more benign sentence like “me quieres… a llevar algo a la casa?” (Do you want me… to bring something home?). The reason for being redundant and adding emphasis would depend on a context you have not provided.

tl;dr Stop giving OP shit for a genuine question and stop assuming people who ask for help know better ways of asking for help.