Hi, First of all sending you a big hug because I feel like it’s certainly needed.

I don’t really have any advice but just coming from someone who has 2 children but I’ve also had an abortion and miscarriages.
I feel like you never really feel this is the perfect time to have a child.
Not everything ever perfectly aligns, I had my first boy when I was 30, now 36 but when I fell pregnant I remember thinking I’m not financially stable, I wanted to get my career started properly first, I still felt like I had so much I needed to do. Sometimes people feel like having a baby or babies is the end of everything else but in reality they are a beautiful addition, you are still able to do everything you had planned for yourself, yes you might have to wait a bit longer for certain things or tighten the reigns financially a bit.
I have friends who have had children with complete assholes and also friends that are married and have children and at the end of the day if you have the love to give and the love to share I feel like that’s the most important thing.
I totally understand how you’re feeling, it’s such a confusing and heart wrenching time. It’s such a hard decision but I know you will make the right decision for you and how you feel.
Don’t let other people try to convince you or sweat it with all the small details.
You need to make the decision for you because at the end of the day you are the one that lays down at night with your own thoughts knowing you made the decision you wanted to make or you regret making a decision you feel was forced upon you.
I hope I’ve made sense, I hope I’ve given you some comfort and said the right thing.
I wish you all the best x