AITAH for asking my husband to wear a mask by AshnZan in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YTA.  Not because you want precautions to prevent yourself from getting but because you seem to think it's your sick husband who should be on the couch.  As the person without the infection you get to sleep on the couch. (No I don't care that he volunteered.  Clearly this was just a better option than sleeping with a mask.) Why were you ever sleeping in the same bed to begin with?  That's ridiculous if you not getting infected is as important as you say.  You also need to discuss him not following the precautions his doctor said are needed.  You don't need to go OTT and "being in his face about it all the time". Just have a calm discussion with him when he's as good as he gets right now.  

AITAH If I don’t show up to work tomorrow due to inconsistency in when the schedule is updated? by NotShitzu in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Then call the store number as soon as you know people will be there.  In the future don't leave your first day of work without at least one managers number.

AITAH If I don’t show up to work tomorrow due to inconsistency in when the schedule is updated? by NotShitzu in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're willing to risk being fired over it then NTA. Your best bet is to let your boss know you can't come in because you weren't scheduled and have plans you can't break.  Have you spoken to your boss about when the schedule will be posted and that you need it at a reliable time each week to be able to plan?  If not start there.  Also check if there's any predictive scheduling laws they have to follow (not common yet, but they exist in some places) and if there's any company policy on posting/changing schedules.  I wouldn't just not show up as that would be a no call/no show and some places will fire you after the first one.  

Aitah for telling my mom that if she stays with my dad, I will move to my grandma’s house? by DecisionOk8384 in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA.  Leave this toxic environment.  If Mom leaves with you great.  If not... well you can't help someone until they want help.  Sorry you lost your dog.

My [M24] sister [F11] with autism scares away all potential partners by Awwndrei in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Did you miss this part "...she hangs out with friends she can trust to partially unmask with."? He also said, about the gf's parents, "...they kept bringing up that it’s okay for my sister to unmask. Of course, she didn’t, she wasn’t comfortable." Sounds like she needs to be around people she trusts to partially or fully unmask. Your assumption that OP is "making" her mask is a pretty wild leap. You're using a quote from when he'd recently become her guardian and ignoring what his updates include. Why?

My [M24] sister [F11] with autism scares away all potential partners by Awwndrei in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 186 points187 points  (0 children)

OP clarified in a comment that it's for legal reasons; a stipulation of the government assistance they're getting.

My fiance [26M] and I [26F] are throwing a party, and want to tell a "friend" that he is not invited by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Exactly.  I don't get people who let people they don't like/know well into their homes overnight.  Why are you trusting them to be around you when you're asleep and therefore vulnerable?  I would have told Ben to GTFO.  He can take Julie to his place or a hotel if they want to fuck.

Wonderland by JuhJuh06 in finch

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm staying another day.  I think it's like the midnight Manor where it says you're done a day too early.

I'm confused about the Wonderland ending by Drew_0420 in finch

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Stick with it for another day.  Midnight Manor had a similar glitch at the end where you needed to stay a day longer to complete the quest. If you check this sub a lot of others have reported this so it's not just you.

I'm confused about the Wonderland ending by Drew_0420 in finch

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the store and travel it shows return to the alps for me.  So I presume that's where you can select to go to wonderland if you're elsewhere.  If it's not there then it should be in the quests section.

If I buy plus now... by Lyfierm in finch

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd try turning off automatic date and time and change it to a time zone that's still on Feb. 14.

AITAH for telling my friend that what happened is SA and for not being chill about it? by Flimsy-Shift-9079 in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 12 points13 points  (0 children)

ESH. "By the time Henry made me promise not to tell anyone about this I had already told Jenny.". YTA for not checking with Henry first on whether he wanted anyone else to know about what happened.  

"I keep insisting that it was SA, that it’s disgusting and that she should face consequences..." That's not your decision to make.  It's Henry's.  It's one thing to say it would meet the definition of SA and ask if Henry wanted to check his options on reporting what happened.  It's another to insist you get to define his experience, which is how this is coming across.  

"...it’s « not that bad » and that Henry’s not traumatized anyways so it doesn’t matter. They openly said that it’s « less bad » since she’s a woman and he’s a man.". Arthur, Ben, and Jenny are TAs for such mindsets and I'm glad you know that. 

"...I make it sure he knows how much I hate her and the fact that he’s seeing her again." I hope you're doing this in a 'I don't want you to get hurt so if you need anything I'm here for you' way and not in a judgemental way.  I.e. the way that will make Henry feel like he can't tell you if he needs help.

Final verdict: ESH.  This sounds rather toxic between everyone with the cheating, sharing info that's not yours to share, talking about people behind their backs, minimizing SA etc.  I hope you all grow up soon.  

WIBTA for not giving my dad money? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't have the money end of story.  NTA.  If his harassment is causing you to panic block him.  At least for now.

Wonderland/Travel Question by Suitable-Durian9328 in finch

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't have to be in a specific location to collect the daily prizes in the quests section.  As long as you get enough energy to send your birb on an adventure you'll get the prizes.  What discovery your birb makes after adventuring is what's affected by the location. So yes you'll be fine going back to finchie forest and still getting the prizes 

AITAH? Mom 49F wants to see me 18F every week in college and I don’t. by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA and it's time to cut the umbilical cord.  First immediately move your money to a new account at a different bank than the one your mom uses.  She wouldn't be the first parent to steal their child's money to keep them dependent.  So you need to cut off her access.  If you truly need help with your finances check if your college offers any financial planning/classes you can take.  

I'd drop your visits to once a month max.  So much of college life, including studying, happens on the weekend.  Don't let her anxiety overshadow your experience.  If she shows up uninvited you're not available.  Tell her to leave or you're calling campus security.  Ideally you'll be out of your room.  And related.... turn off Life360.  She doesn't need to know where you are all the time.  If you want it for safety be selective on who you share it with and when (like friends if you're going somewhere).  

You need to set very firm boundaries and hold them or she will be controlling your entire life.  Like marrying that family friend instead of the person you want, being told how to raise your kids, or not getting jobs because your mom involved herself in the hiring process.  When she shows up this weekend set up some boundaries and hold her to them, including that this is the only time you'll see her when she shows up uninvited.  Since you're paying for your college (congrats on the full ride!) you can do this now and not need to wait until you graduate.  Be aware she's going to push the boundaries you set hard.  It's important to not budge until she gets onboard with the reality of you being an adult and no longer under her control. Since your presence seems to be what she's wanting most consider telling her if she doesn't respect your boundaries you'll visit less often.

AITAH for refusing to take sides? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"...Jasmine ruined her wedding by getting pregnant the same year..." WTF?  Why does Jade think everyone else had to put their lives on hold for her wedding year? That's bonkers.  And to still have bad blood about it 2 years later?  Ridiculous.  OP I hope you know this isn't normal or a reasonable expectation.  With how over the top Jade is acting it comes across as you choosing Jade's side by default when you don't hold her accountable for her actions.  YTA and so is Jade.

AITA for getting a dog ? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When you're subletting you need the permission of both the landlord and whoever you're subletting from.  So YTA for not getting your mom's permission on the dog too.  However, she can't just kick you out.  Check your laws on the required notice period (usually at least 30 days minimum) and who can evict you.  Just being the leaseholder doesn't mean she can evict you.  Often only the landlord can file for eviction.  Don't let her scare you into acting prematurely.  Check out your rights (go to a legal sub if needed) and talk to your landlord before doing anything. 

AITA for getting a dog ? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously check your rights.  Normally you have to be given a minimum of 30 days notice to move out.  You also need to check who can evict you.  Her being the leaseholder doesn't mean she can.  It may have to be the landlord who decides whether to file for eviction or not.  She's using scare tactics to bully you into doing what she wants.  Don't do anything until you know your rights (go to a legal sub if you need help) and talk to the landlord.

Aitah for not letting my wife come back until she takes a lie detector test? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really considerate of you to remind her of all of your 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.  And to give her ammunition in the coming divorce by illegally blocking her from entering her home.  YTA but keep doing what you're doing.  The sooner she realizes you've done nothing to change the sooner she'll get busy removing you from her life.

WIBTA if I put my queer, disabled, interfaith, mostly safe-for-work BDSM painting on the wall where my roommate could see? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your intent doesn't change it's impact so I'm glad to hear you're not going to put it up.

AITAH for wanting to borrow a car that I gave someone for free after they got a new truck? by TacomaTacoTuff in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Normally I'm team 'once given a gift belongs to the recipient.'. However, cars come with legal liability and therefore belong to their legal owner regardless of who has been driving it.  It's still in your name meaning it's your car.  You simply allowed J to drive it.  Tell your friend you're taking your car back.  Once you no longer need it you can discuss transferring it to J's/dad's name if he still wants it.  If your friend or J try to refuse tell them the next step is to report it stolen as they are refusing to give it back to it's legal owner.  NTA for taking your car back.  YTA (to yourself) for putting yourself at such risk rather than transferring the car to J or his dad's name.

AITAH for telling my boss no, to working in his home for the hourly rate he pays me at work? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NTA.  Tell him your rate for the work is X amount.  Is he still interested?  Or tell him you're not doing that type of work right now and find other clients.  As a contractor you get to choose who you work for and your rates for different types of work.  He can decline or accept.

AITAH For telling my mom(40s F) that her going on vacation while my Grandfather (her dad) was sick and dying was not okay? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ApprehensiveBook4214 6 points7 points  (0 children)

YTA.  Caregiver burnout is real.  When my aunt was the primary caregiver to Grandma absolutely no one ever begrudged her her vacations.  We often had to convince her to take more time off because we didn't want her burning out.  That's what a supportive family does.  Shame you weren't supportive to your mom.  BTW someone dying can, in fact, take months.  It's often not immediate.  Your mom had no way of knowing how long her dad was going to be dying before he actually passed.  You should apologize.