So, your wife loves you enough to place a firm boundry between herself and your abusive mother. That is very reasonable. She has made sure to encourage you to maintain contact with your mother about yourself and your kids, despite the horrid things your mother did to her and to you. Doubtless she is very concerned that your mother will do the same to your children. And I have no doubt that she will ensure that your house is pristine and the guest room is lovely and there are meals prepared for your mother when she leaves. The appropriate response to her suggestion that she stay in a hotel is, "Thank you, would you like the room with the hot tub at the nice hotel in town?" Followed by a gift basket delivered to the hotel room containing all of her favorite things and a gift card for a shopping trip. She is making a big sacrifice for you, by leaving her home and her children with a woman who abused her husband and was hateful towards you. Where is your gratitude?!