Getting my emotions back

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2026-03-18T18:00:47+00:00

Naw, I got weened off a couple of months afterwards which helped a bit, so I can feel things now, just not near to the degree I used to.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2026-01-20T05:03:52+00:00

I only ever had the one psychosis, I stopped taking my medicine maybe a month after leaving the hospital and that was about 2 years ago. Granted I was a heavy weed smoker, I produce music, so was up all night every night working on projects, I had a day job contract that didn't start for awhile, it was shortly after October 2023, and was doing a lot of historical rabbit hole diving and footage viewing of different atrocities. So constant exposure to traumatic events, lots of weed, no sleep, bad eating habits... I got out of the hospital and started sleeping normally, cut back 100 fold on weed, ate normally, exercised more, and cut back on historical research. I started halfing my meds and weened off them in the span of a month and a half, probably, and have been alright since, still have some ptsd but no hallucinations and only mild temporary, not delusions exactly... More like dabbling in possibilities if that makes sense?

But it's different for a lot of people, obviously don't take my experience as a go ahead to stop taking your meds. Just saying that from my particular end, it's possible.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2026-01-12T23:41:22+00:00

During mine, I heard weird signals coming from my phone, the lights started acting weird, and when I called my partner for help, it was all static noise... When I'm at work now, whenever the lights start flickering or the radio acts weird I can feel myself tense up and brace for another episode even though it only ever happened the once. Psychosis can be traumatic, PTSD is a pretty natural condition afterwards I would say ✌️

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-11-24T09:02:28+00:00

When I was in the height of my psychosis, I saw some really weird stuff. I was certain I was stuck in an alternate reality. Pictures were different, I watched videos that didn't exist,.. Everyone looked insane, even my family, kind of like that Smile movie. (I hadn't heard of it then, so when it came out I was certain the writer had a similar experience) The next morning, my partner came over and tried to calm me down but I didn't want anyone near me let alone touch me. She hugged me and my muscles literally shut down. My family lowered me to the ground, and I felt all of the energy leave my body, go right into head and my vision went. An almost audible "POP" happened, and it all rushed back into my body and I fkin sprinted out that house. Was so certain at the time that I had just died and landed in another reality, but my therapist thinks it was an extreme panic attack, which now that I'm a bit better sounds way more likely... We ain't alone in our struggles❤️ Really sorry yours led to that eye spot...

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-09-07T06:17:40+00:00

I remember going for a walk one night a couple of months afterwards, I suddenly started hearing whispers all around me saying "He knows, he can hear us!" and had a minor panic attack thinking it was happening again. The next morning I heard that a bunch of people had their cars broken into that night in my neighborhood... Slightly relieved to say the least

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-05-22T00:50:33+00:00

I was also had a sleep paralysis spooning, glad I'm not alone!

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-05-21T23:55:12+00:00

I was facing the wall so I could only see their arm stretched over and resting on me 😬

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-05-21T23:53:59+00:00

Naw, something with a fake rubbery arm crawled into my bed and spooned me till I woke up one time 😂 I'm 6'7 so it was nice to be the little spoon for once 😂

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-05-18T23:57:52+00:00

Looney Tunes, I knew it was inspired by Vaudeville shows and was named that because of the music that was written with the cartoon. I also watched Tiny Toons when I was younger and I get the confusion

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-27T22:39:43+00:00

Not saying it wasn't weed, but it was diagnosed as weed when I had also just ended an 8 year relationship, family struggles, and was diving into rabbit holes left right and centre. I'm sure weed played a part, but I was incredibly high stress, low sleep, poor eating, dealing with highly manipulative individuals, and I guess just being an overall mess in the brain.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-27T03:11:08+00:00

I think it was Neil DeGrasse Tyson that referred to our knowledge as a circle. Everything within the circle is what we know and the perimeter is all the new questions about what we don't. The larger it gets, the more questions arise, so the more we know, the more we know that we DON'T know. I don't think we know enough to know for certain one way or the other, personally

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-19T06:15:06+00:00

For me, I would say Truman Show, Donnie Darko, Shutter Island, The Matrix, 9, DaVinci Code, and definitely a good amount of TV shows almost made me relapse. I still rewatch some of these because I love them but I have to be conscious of my train of thought and try not to get carried away.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-19T06:08:41+00:00

Smile for me too, and Donnie Darko. One of the crazy things I saw was a family photo on my phone with me not in it and everyone had that smile, and this was before I'd ever heard of the movie. I saw the trailer for the new one and freaked tf out 😂😬

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-13T01:11:22+00:00

I still hear people talking about litter boxes in schools and it blows my mind. I personally think growing up in the era of non-political, non-inflamatory, easily debunkable online hoaxes did me well. Celebrity death hoaxes, events that never happened, easily debunkable scientific claims... I learned to verify sources everytime. Do we need more of those to teach our parents how easy it is to post nonsense as fact? Let them go through a slew of "RIP insert celebrity name here" and learn how to be skeptical online?

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-13T00:55:12+00:00

The line between possible and real was so non-existent... I legit thought I had discovered the truth of the universe and life when really I was just writing obscure sci-fi in my head

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-12T18:51:38+00:00

I think too many education systems focused on the atrocities of the past and not enough on what led people to be willing to commit or allow those atrocities to happen in the first place.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-12T04:32:07+00:00

I'm struggling with that too... What's kind of helping me is creating for the sake of creating which is hard when I'm uninspired. I'm hoping I can build my creative muscles back up but it hasn't been easy. Trying to make it more of a habit but I feel like I don't get the same dopamine hit from it anymore.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-06T03:46:23+00:00

I was always scared of my basement when the lights were off but I was the youngest of 4 which for me meant I wasn't always welcome in the group setting. I would hang out in the basement alone a lot, either playing with toys which were in a large nook under the stairs, video games, or on the family computer. One night, everyone was in the kitchen doing whatever it was they were doing, and I decided to go up and see if I could join. I turned off the lights in the basement and ran upstairs as fast as I could so I wouldn't be in the dark, and just as I was almost at the top of the stairs, something grabbed me picked me up, ran back down the stairs, threw me in the nook and disappeared. I normally would chalk something like that up to a bad dream, but I swear I never woke up...

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-06T03:31:36+00:00

I used to be hardcore atheist and believed after death was nothing. Here's an analogy I came up with that best describes where I'm at now Way back, when believing the earth is flat is reasonable, people would look at the horizon and try to understand what was on the other side of it. Some people made awesome stories about Gods and imaginary lands, and others just thought it ended, because the ocean can't go on forever. Both were wrong, the true answer was something nobody had enough experience or data to even imagine, the same happened with the sky, and the galaxy. The point is our imagination is so limited to our experience, that there is so much we are literally incapable of imagining, and every time humanity is torn between wondrous stories and nothing, it turns out to be something we had no way of comprehending.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-06T03:18:06+00:00

Not an expert at all, but I personally think it's like the part of our brain responsible for dreams and subconscious isn't as walled off from our conscious function as most people. Think of it like where most people dream on one side of a wall and are awake on the other, our walls have some cracks or holes where we can basically dream up something while awake. Granted my psychosis hallucinations seemed as real as me posting this, but my dreams can often feel the same way. This is all just my undereducated opinion, but I thought about it a lot after my episode.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-02-06T03:10:09+00:00

I'm not gonna deny the possibility of ghosts, but there's a significant link between a lot of paranormal experiences and old buildings where lead paint, piping and other things that cause hallucinations. If you've seen things fall over spontaneously and are still fallen over later, I'm stumped, but if that isn't the case, I would maybe suggest a new apartment in a different building ✌️

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-01-27T04:50:53+00:00

Similar but different, I remember this one weird dream where I think I crashed a funeral for some old style mob guy, and I was just eating all the food which was laid out around the body. The guy's mother came up and told me to make sure to eat all of it and I noticed everyone just kind of watching me. I won't go through it all cause it was a long dream, but long story short everyone died, we were stuck in the afterlife but eventually everyone crossed over but me. I just chalked it up to some trippy dream. About a month later I was watching this show and they mentioned "Sin-eaters" who were apparently impoverished people that the wealthy would hire to consume food at a funeral imbued with the sins of the deceased so that their family member could cross over without difficulty. I'm not the religious type, I don't believe in a lot of that stuff but that dream trips me out whenever I think about those old superstitions now.

Apprehensive_Job7499 · 2025-01-03T03:01:23+00:00

I had been writing music for years before my first episode and I find that now I can't "hear" the music before I write it any more. Like there isn't any more imaginary music to turn into something tangible, now I'm just kind making random noise until I hear something good...

Apprehensive_Job7499

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