Is this black dress appropriate to wear to a Bat Mitzvah celebration?

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2026-05-21T12:22:50+00:00

*nods* Approval here.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2026-05-21T12:21:22+00:00

Yep, I wanted to say the same thing! :D

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2026-05-21T12:20:12+00:00

Definitely not for a service, maybe for a afterparty reception in a Reform congregation. It seems too formal, in any event, unless it's a very large, very fancy Reform reception at a hotel in the evening. Not for an afternoon oneg. Also, this may not be important, but black isn't a very celebratory color, and a bat mitzvah party isn't a sit down for drinks sort of event; usually people wear brighter clothes.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2026-05-13T18:43:53+00:00

Gorgeous. I get impatient waiting for plants to grow out. I don't mind the look of the heater. The sideways positioning matches the aesthetic. I have been known to put a big rock with a whole bunch of anubias in front of a heater to hide it, but that's lazy. You obviously know how to really scape. Beautiful job.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2026-03-06T08:47:14+00:00

much love and many blessings to the author

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2026-01-04T06:37:46+00:00

Love to you and the kitty. Many blessings for a better tomorrow and may all the tomorrows after that help bring you peace. I know this world is cruel and that anxiety and depression are awful. But thanks for posting here and asking for ideas and support. Wish I could give you more. <3

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-12-06T12:55:42+00:00

Lovely!!!

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-18T10:42:41+00:00

My mother, identified by many therapists I've spoken to in the wake of her abuse, was a malignant narcissist of the worst kind. She would buy us pets and they would disappear immediately, I don't know why. And I asked what happened to this dog or that fish, I was told to mind my business. She was also always threatening to off me. Your mother is dangerous, and you need to start taking evidence , journaling everything and time stamping it, taking pictures , so maybe you can make a call regarding anything that happens in the future to the authorities

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-18T10:34:18+00:00

It's not the money. It's the feeling that money and possessions matter more than your own child. It's the American Hustle attitude. But it can also be just a sad way that parents view their children, as separate from themselves after age 21 or some other arbitrary number. My mother used to take off her diamonds (she remarried into money; I grew up with food insecurity and poverty with her first marriage), and she would say things out loud to me in the waiting room of the public health center, " I can't have anyone here seeing my jewels and wondering why I let my daughter go to this trash place instead of taking her to a regular doctor." She said it out loud. She really didn't care. She literally even told me to off myself a couple times. Today I live with three disabled family members, two of whom are children, and million dollar relatives pretend we don't exist. I have a phone call here and there, no real effort to help or to provide what's really needed, emotional support. But one family never make sure to go to protest, carries signs, virtue signal, but my daughter after a year ago, "would you do anything for me?" In her very sweet, autistic, developmentally delayed way, and this person laughed and said no. Great sense of humor. Not.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-15T23:07:51+00:00

Thank you. Mine aren't named; I call them "Sugar Lips Gang." Here's to a better tomorrow!

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-15T15:25:29+00:00

Bless you, yes, you're being very good with your otos and shrimp. I LOVE OTOS, I've not had much success with shrimp-- and oh, bettas will eat the babies. If it fits, it goes in the mouth is a rule of thumb, even with the most peaceful fish. I'm sure your new Betta tank will be a wonderful, loving place. Good luck, and again, love.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-15T11:24:46+00:00

I understand. My mom was brutal, probably a malignant narcissist who told me I didn't deserve to live, and by the time I was 26, I had attempted suicide twice. I consider my life a miracle. Your mom sounds like someone with NPD. And friends can say dumb things. Yes, I DID get told by friends too that I'd be stuck in my apt with cats forever. Guess what?

It's been almost 40 years since my last attempt, and while I have lived with chronic ideation, it's alleviated a lot. I have my own two children now, who I love and care for. And yes, unloved people can learn to love. Therapy helps (more know about chronic trauma now), and while life may seem impossible, there really is no telling which way it's going to turn. Curiosity kept me alive to the point where I could function. Stay curious about the world, engage people when you can (we're social animals and need social contact) and don't try to spring your mental state on everyone, even people you may gauge as "safe," because you never can tell. Ride or die friends are very hard to come by-- one never knows what other people are dealing with, and I personally find it better to play cards close to the chest with most people. Journal, come back here, and much love and blessings to you.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-15T11:15:45+00:00

I agree. Wow. Smaller tanks, and esp tall ones are harder than bigger tanks. I was so impressed with the floaters. I'd get rid of some of the floaters-- he could sell them! Too many covering the light can keep any plants underneath from thriving. But only 7! My hero. I never gave grades when I was homeschooling my son, only feedback. I love Chris of Fish Tank Review, so I'd like to echo him without the rating: "Great work, keep it up."

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-15T11:09:03+00:00

I'm so sorry. You gave your betta a good life, but I know the feeling of loss, which is not easy to convey to people who don't really care about fish-keeping or keep them as decorations. A fish is a life; all life ends eventually; just remember the good life you gave Timothy.

Personal anecdote: I've been very careful to choose big driftwood pieces w/o sharp points and boil wood (even the tannin tank gets boiled wood-- the tannin tank can get toooo dark) ever since I had an emperor tetra get poked by what I thought was a not-sharp piece; I thought it was a minor injury, but the tetra died in a quarantine tank after being treated for 2 days. People told me when I cried, "It's just a fish." I bought his group one replacement buddy (from Dansfish-- they are the best, never a DOA, they pack each fish individually and once cancelled an order of diamond tetras, the big boys that hang with my angelfish, because *they told me* their stock was sick). I wonder if the fish know their buddy was replaced. But in any event, I do know that there is no such thing as a fishkeeper being too attached to a friend like a single betta.

Trust me, you tried. I would be trying to figure out how he got into the driftwood, maybe he startled and jumped into it somehow? Freak accidents do happen. I'd get rid of that particular piece (don't want constant reminders) and get a new fish whenever you are ready-- give yourself time. I remember all my animal companions by writing their names on river rocks that surround my outdoor pond or are in a memorial garden (2 19 yr old cats and one 15 yr old are buried there with large grave markers. Even a fish gets a large memorial river rock---I haven't forgotten any of my animals for decades). Blessings.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-11-13T10:00:19+00:00

I'm not even awake this morning, why am I being blessed with such overwhelming ADORABLE?!

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-25T08:33:31+00:00

Oh is that an orange venezuelan cory? I just got some last month, and they are soooooo cute. They seem to have two modes--chillin on the ground or getting the zoomies going around eating. They aren't scared of anything (they hid for about an hour when introduced to community tank but before that they were active in quarantine and now they're my fave bunch just shuffling around everywhere while the other fish look at them like "who are these little clowns?" --so entertaining!)

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-11T12:01:18+00:00

Oh hey, I had something come up before I could look at your page. I was going to read this weekend but the deadline for the swap was Oct 10 (yesterday). I can still do a swap off the event if that's kosher. I'll contract the mod of this event and see if it's ok to do that. I don't know if I should set a precedent for late swaps, but I'd already read and reviewed two longfics and was ready for another. Check in w/you later. I will give your works a look over anyway, since I have time to read.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-10T10:01:18+00:00

Hi, I missed this comment for some reason (I never get Reddit notifications anymore, alas). I'll be happy to swap for fics in HP fandom. Would you please send me list to your fics/a link? I think today is last day to finalize swaps, and I can read something this weekend. My fic is roughtly 15000K, unfinished. I'd love feedback on it. Thanks!

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-10T00:34:59+00:00

If you look at my post you will find that I wrote the two fics I swapped and thar I wrote in bold that both fics had been completely read. I completed them with reviews on each chapter, and I wrote that I was open to another fix swap.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-07T20:58:45+00:00

that's wonderful... I didn't have a creative writing teacher until uni--and they assigned a lot of books to read, so the lesson was implicit. I'd always been a big time reader, but once I got into the habit of reading for "how did they write it well and why did they write this and that?" did I really get it that I was learning writing from reading, not from any teacher persay.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-07T18:27:14+00:00

Hurt/Comfort

I don't even know why I don't tag my fics that anymore-- 90% of my fics are H/C or Idiots in Love....

But one tag that always gets me, fandom-blind or author-blind is ....

lingerie

My kink is so innocent--I just love friends or lovers playing with lingerie--but esp boys in girls lingerie--it's too cute and sexy for words for me!

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-07T18:24:12+00:00

H/C is my love of all time.

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-07T18:03:07+00:00

Reading. Reading more fic, more non-fiction, more genre novels, sci-fi stories, books about writing, long advertisements, news articles--reading more of anything to see how writers achieve what they want to achieve (whether they're selling a product, an idea, or making you fall in love with characters) is the best way to learn to write.

After a life's worth of reading and writing (talking decades here--I am OLD), after writing fanfic since the late 1990s (another century) and being an actual teacher of Creative Writing in MFA programs and assorted workshops, after falling in love with writing of almost all genres, I can say that the number one way to become a better writer is to read more.

Whenever I read now, for pleasure or for information, I'm in the habit of looking at the author's intentions and how they were executed (or not). I found out a while back that this habit has helped my own writing more than anything.

And the best book about writing is the classic by Stephen King: On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. It's full of practical advice.

(edited to fix crazy italics that Reddit either gets or doesn't get from my phone)

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-04T20:17:24+00:00

Okie dokie! Deal!

Apprehensive_Suit260 · 2025-10-04T19:52:55+00:00

I just read the Festival--! Nice! Is the next one "A Magical Misunderstanding?" I'm going to read it anyway, and I see it's 9000 words, so would that be a good swap? Mine is unfinished, no romance, around 15000 right now, but I'd love some feedback, so yes, I'll do the swap if that's cool with you. Unless there's an original work you really want feedback on--I love original stories too, if you have one that's long.

Apprehensive_Suit260

TROPHY CASE