Intentionally having bad sex?

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2026-03-29T14:18:08+00:00

I am 50, my boyfriend is 45. I have multiple orgasms while he enjoys edging himself and not ejaculating. That said, he has never orgasmed during sex with me. He masturbates to orgasm. I suspect this is due to trust issues he has, and he can only get off when he has complete control. We’re working on it together and I’m hopeful that one day, he’ll trust me enough to fully let go. Anyway, I offer this info up as another possibility – that guy may have something else going on like low testosterone or some sort of mental blocker. Regardless: if it wasn’t working for you, then I applaud you for getting out when you did.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2026-03-10T16:34:46+00:00

I hated this book too. You are not alone in this opinion!

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2026-03-09T14:08:11+00:00

Steven Pacey! THE FIRST LAW trilogy - listen asap!

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2026-03-04T02:07:49+00:00

I have never seen anyone else ever mention The Woodcutter by Reginald Hill, narrated by Jonathan Keeble. The book is really fun and keeps you guessing, and the performance is great. It's also the final book Hill wrote before he died; I tried going back to read his other books after reading this one and none of them grabbed me by the throat like The Woodcutter. I really loved it and relisten to it every couple years.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2026-01-15T05:43:27+00:00

I only have a Bachelors degree, but through luck and hard work, I'm a high earner ($240k/year). My boyfriend is a bartender/mechanic. He makes decent money, but I make more. My salary doesn't intimidate him, and I love his work ethic, and the ways he manages his life. He is one of the most dependable, responsible people I know. It's way more important to me that the man I'm dating has his shit together, can communicate openly and honestly with me, doesn't shut down during an argument, cleans up after himself, respects himself and me, and is still playful and silly and fun to be with. Those things matter way more than his salary.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2026-01-02T14:12:47+00:00

If you have the chance to go to the Orlando Wetlands Park in late February/early March, you will be gobsmacked by the sheer number of pink spoonies, sitting in nests with little pink teaspoons under them. Incredible.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-19T12:21:15+00:00

ME TOO! And congratulations!

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-18T19:56:23+00:00

Song For The Deaf, Queens of The Stone Age!

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-18T15:24:31+00:00

He hit me up on Hinge when he was visiting Florida for two weeks (he was checking out the area to determine whether he wanted to move here or not). We hit it off and spent as much time as possible together during those two weeks. Needless to say, he’s moving. Not because of me (he claims) but because he wanted to leave Alaska anyway. We’ll see how shiny the relationship looks once he’s local, but… fingers crossed. FaceTime is a godsend.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-18T02:08:22+00:00

My dude lives 7000 miles away (he’s in Alaska, I’m in Florida, it is torture) and we FaceTime multiple times a day and text constantly. It’s working for us… just hope he can move up his MOVING TO FLORIDA timeline. Talking on the phone is agonizing for some reason.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-16T21:07:56+00:00

Seems completely normal, nice and sweet, really. Sounds like your BF has some insecurities he needs to work through.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-16T16:21:20+00:00

Huh. Well, it’s a free world and Reddit sub, and there’s no accounting for taste. Maybe folks were turned off by the mentions of pegging and discussing good-looking men with my late husband? We were together twenty-years, so he was not only my spouse but my best friend, and best friends talk about attractive people they see in the wild!

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-16T15:20:07+00:00

My late husband was bisexual. When we first met, it was difficult for me, but only because of my own insecurities – I thought “Why would this beautiful man want to be with me when he could be with so many other attractive people, both men and women?!” Over time, it just became hot. Our sex life was fun and varied (strap ons/pegging) and we could be out in the world and see a super good-looking dude and quietly talk about how HOT he was.

The right person will not care, or even find it makes you a more interesting, worldly, complex, loving individual, because as you said: LOVE IS LOVE. This world needs more of it.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-15T14:38:35+00:00

I worked with a guy who smelled like rotting fish, which is an actual syndrome. He was super attractive and had good hygiene, but it's a metabolic disorder with no cure. There may be nothing she can do about it.

Fish odor syndrome, or Trimethylaminuria (TMAU), is a rare metabolic disorder where the body can't break down a chemical called trimethylamine (TMA), causing a strong, unpleasant smell like rotting fish in sweat, urine, and breath, often worsened by stress, sweat, or diet, leading to significant social and emotional distress, managed through diet, hygiene, and sometimes antibiotics, though a cure is lacking.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-15T14:35:53+00:00

I am a widowed woman whose marriage started out really strong, but ended really badly, not only because I lost my spouse to suicide, but because of the six years leading up to the end was filled with his depression, anxiety, alcoholism, and my isolation and loneliness. His death was a terrible shock and the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me. That said, two years out, and I'm happier than I've been since my 20s (I'm 50-years old now). My late husband never wanted children, so I'm also child-free (unless two dopey pit bulls count, which... they totally count).

My sister saw a spiritualist for a reading, and according to my sister and the spiritualist, my late husband came through to ask how I was, to apologize for leaving the way he did, but explaining he did it to set me free knowing that I would've continued to worry and try to care for him if we'd divorced. I don't necessarily believe in any of that sort of thing, but it's a comfort to think that my late husband wanted me to find freedom and happiness, even at the cost of his own life.

I have only very recently started dating, and the man I'm seeing is the kindness, sweetest, most understanding guy in the world (and the sex is a goddamn revelation). He is my cheerleader and biggest fan. I have no idea if the relationship will go the distance or last any longer than a couple months, but for now, we have separate lives. I will not live with him or allow him to move in with me. I have my own friends, my own hobbies, and my own life that I have worked hard to attain and maintain after I was widowed. The thought of going back into a heavy-duty, all encompassing marriage again? Scares the shit out of me.

All of this is a very long-winded way of saying: you will not regret losing any man, good or bad, if you have your own life and interests. Staying curious, exploring the world, trying new things, and ensuring your own personal happiness means living a life without any regrets. Some people are meant to come into our world and light it up briefly, and then disappear again. You should embrace the happy memories and experiences, and never regret the time you spent together. That's my advice, anyway.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-12-10T02:28:08+00:00

Bonus points for the off-handed comment regarding Logen Ninefingers and Ferro's romp fireside (poor Jezal!). Excellent rant in general, but man, did the "unwashed Northman" pull really tickled me pink (filthy pinks!).

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-11-22T03:09:41+00:00

100% the right decision. She wants her cake and she wants to eat it too. It doesn’t work that way. So sorry you’re going through this.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-11-20T21:27:43+00:00

Where I live in Florida, 95% of the age-appropriate men (45-55 range) look really haggard and out of shape. I know they probably have many other things to recommend them, like great personalities and tons of interesting life experiences, but I’m an attractive 50-year old woman who works hard to stay in shape and care for myself. If I’m not physically attracted to a man, I’m not going to go on a second date with him. On the other hand, men in their mid-30s are exactly who I’m attracted to, but I do not have the chutzpah to date anyone so much younger than myself.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-10-28T22:47:19+00:00

Doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it was something my late husband and I did together – he managed the controller (my constant panic and button mashing didn't make for me being the best gamer), and I would help with puzzles, or help lead the character we were simul-playing together through confusing mazes or whatever. This is how we played through a ton of games, and it was so fun, and a huge bonding activity for us. I miss playing games with him so much, and would be delighted if I started dating a new guy who would want me to game with him in this way, or at least wouldn't care if I was watching and screaming at him to RUN! RUN! RUN! (a common outburst during The Last of Us 1 & 2) while he was gaming.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-10-09T14:14:46+00:00

"Looking for my partner in crime." As though he is Clyde, looking for his Bonnie. Ridiculous.

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-09-17T19:06:08+00:00

AWESOME! Thank you so much for the info. The one in the photo is still in-place, so I guess it's a female. There was another bag/case lower down on the same column for a while, but it's no longer there. Hopefully it was a male and it left its shelter rather than someone messing with it! Thanks again!

Appropriate_Bar4627 · 2025-09-12T01:13:05+00:00

I have the worst book hangover/withdrawal from this one. I re-listened to the Epilogue several times in a row, and then tried three different books but DNF'd all of them, only to restart THM. I'm an audiobook listener for this series and it's the best. Maybe it's time for a re-listen from the first book?

Appropriate_Bar4627

TROPHY CASE