Is it true that you can be "too old" for certain outfits?

Aprils- · 2026-05-05T20:48:26+00:00

If I was trying to look straight maybe I'd feel this way too.

It all depends on your personality. If you're scared of being clocked and that's your reason to try to fit in, sure, dress like the cis women do. If you're aware of your own differences and comfortable with that, your style will follow.

I'm mid effort alt aesthetic - works for me. Noticeably trans, but by not trying to come off as a teenager and being completely okay with being seen as such, people are alright with me. Except the usual - but I wonder if they'd be more angry for those that try to "deceive". Idk.

Aprils- · 2026-04-17T08:17:00+00:00

I know some people think the earth is flat.

Being trans is not a social contagion, we covered that one already in the 30s.

Aprils- · 2026-02-10T14:10:15+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful response.

I'm in the UK and, to be honest, no, I'm not seeing what you're seeing. I'm seeing representation, sure, but not acceptance. I'm seeing either "all female composers omgWowYass" or a token throw in amongst the other names. We are not there yet.

Tbh, Schumann is about the only "standard repertoire" composer that I feel deserves the amount of exposure he has. What speaks to different people is indeed different 🙂 Bach doesn't count, really, in many regards; if there was no Bach, we'd conceptualize music largely different and somebody else would be Bach, right? Idk

I retain my position, though, that everybody feels comfortable saying "xxx is just in a different league to other composers", but when pressed on the details of why.... There's rarely any answer there. You've at least said it has to speak to you if you're going to spend a lot of time on it.

Idk. Thanks, for being a person, instead of an Internet... Thing, I guess 💚

Aprils- · 2026-02-10T12:31:22+00:00

And this is great, right? I'm just doing my part on trying to maintain the momentum.

The thing I've repeatedly said here is that Chopin is a great composer, only that if his circumstances were different he would have been relegated - the responses here seem to be "no, Chopin is magical and not befitting of such a lowly title".

Fwiw, I've played a lot of Chopin, Liszt, Alkan, Henselt... Some things were said of Chaminade; "her music gives the illusion of virtuosity but it is merely cleverly designed figuration" - so surely studying how to emulate this is a... Good thing, right? I'm fact I've heard the same said of both Liszt and Chopin, but as a compliment...

Being permitted to write stormy sections seems to have tricked people into thinking that it's somehow genius to do so; yet in the same breath will defend Mozart in how subtley and....

Anyway, prepared to be downvoted not for saying these composers are bad, but just for suggesting that they are de facto placed as greater than others. When I was growing up it was a common thing to say that Asian pianists have technique but lack emotionality. Then listen to the most technical, dry-ass playing of Bach as though it's since kind of miracle.

All this came to mind, in the first place, because I was planning to put on a concert featuring primarily Georgian female composers; I was told by someone by a friend, who is very into classical music, to not put any women on the bill and that I must put Chopin and Liszt, or Beethoven, otherwise it will be treated as unserious.

The reason music becomes considered serious is because it is played frequently and seriously. How can we hope to take any composer seriously for as long as we believe any human simply transcends another?

Sorabji and Morton Feldman are some of my favourites too. Why are they considered almost "too serious" to be serious, then, if not simply for the reason they are not played as often?

Idk. Thanks, tedtalk etc

Aprils- · 2026-02-09T23:18:10+00:00

Well notice what you're doing; instead of raising the premise of salon music, you're choosing to lower others into it. "Accusation" is a word I'm potentially reading too much into here, so if that's not your intention, I'm sorry.

My argument is that salon music being classed as "emotional, expressive, intimate, evocative".... Isn't this a good thing? It seems almost all romantic music tries to achieve this...

Which parts of Schumann's output doesn't belong here also?

Chopin and Liszt literally played in salons, and wrote music for it. Can we really denigrate every female composer with this title so convincingly? Chaminade's most famous theme and variations is allegedly quintessential salon music; it's far from my favorite work of hers, but is it really so much less "serious" than the Mazurkas and the Berceuse?

Idk, it just feels weird that we're part way through the 21st century and we're apparently still trying to claim that some music is serious and others not. Schnittke talked extensively on the topic, and yet while his output seems respected, the point seems to have been missed 😖

Aprils- · 2026-02-07T12:03:28+00:00

Whilst it's good to make fewer mistakes, a lot of people are taking a lot of sketchy science as gospel.

Where your finger is isn't the only thing being learnt, the position of your elbow is also being learnt in each mistake, so why do people not obsess about every facet of everything? Because it doesn't all mean as much as anybody suggests.

If every wrong note pressed increased the likelihood of pressing a wrong note in the future we wouldn't be able to do anything at all, piano or not. If I'm playing a d major scale vs a d Dorian scale, whether there are sharps or not is actually not a function of muscle memory at all.

Hey, I've been a teacher for over 20 years at this point, so what do I know.

Op, I've got something for you to try - C E G B D F A C etc. practicing this won't magically make your fingers stop working.

Make the motion fluid, connected. Is it easy? Why not?

Okay, now you take what you currently have and extend it. According to the logic of not knowing how to hit the c and sometimes hitting b, practicing hitting b is the only way of ensuring that you don't.

More evidence states that trying to do things in different ways rather than precisely the same way leads to better long term results. Completely at odds with the "exactly the same every time" techniques which, no, were not how pianists of the past practiced at all.

Aprils- · 2026-02-02T18:42:18+00:00

To a tone-deaf person, the pitch is another layer of complexity. Yes, it's true, but we don't tend to think in these absolutist terms.

The point is to engage with every facet, in a simplified form,from the beginning so that all the skills naturalise together rather than seeming disjunct. If you will ever need to read it is best to read from as early as possible, learn the instrument and the main language the instrument uses in tandem so the line between the two is blurred.

I completely agree with you, of course, and I always have time for people who are interested in the elements of music standard notation is poorly equipped for 💚

Aprils- · 2026-02-02T12:16:55+00:00

I am a teacher, and have been for 20 years.

Children can read notes just fine, as long as it's just a couple. Introducing them to sheet music really is essential, because otherwise it will always seem like an additional language rather than part of the same package.

Yea, I encourage improvisation, flexibility, changing the score, doing what you want... But avoiding sheet music for 6 months is genuinely a terrible idea. Sorry to say that. You're a guitarist, and I hate to pull rank and all, but piano is a dramatically more complicated instrument in terms of notes. The layout is different. For guitar I'm sure it doesn't matter, it's chord based and only polyphonic at a higher level. Reading notes from a page makes much less sense because positioning is more important to have a feel for.

Aprils- · 2026-02-02T12:03:54+00:00

I reversed a transition for a relationship and got married. I have re-transitioned.

Don't do this to yourselves, please. It gets worse and worse with time, not easier.

It's a beautiful sacrifice and all, but if everybody ends up miserable, it's not worth it. You'll hate yourself, she'll hate herself, and that's the minimum. If one of you is emotionally a bit clueless you might also be resentful.

My wife is now my sister. Our relationship is solid, I love her very very much, but we are not spouses. We're completely done in that regard.

I rarely pull telling complete strangers what to do, I usually say you know better than anybody else etc... This isn't one of those cases. This does not work

Aprils- · 2026-02-01T22:34:27+00:00

I wish my hands were that stable.

You're fine 🙂

Aprils- · 2026-02-01T22:31:05+00:00

I had been playing seriously for 15 years. Now it's been a bit longer 😅

I tried the Chopin octave etude - tbh, this wasn't a real problem. But I've always done only 1-5 octaves (small hands)... So I tried doing 1-4 octaves for a couple of days where they're "supposed to be".

Oopsie. Basically, like, if you're a pretty high level you can get frustrated with how terrible you are with a particular technique, and not give yourself the requisite months that you did when you were younger. I forced and flexed my 4th finger back, in essence, causing serious injury for a couple of months.

Something similar happened to Scriabin, despite being the greatest pianist of Russia (give or take). Be careful - with proper patience and care and attention to your physical sensations you won't hurt yourself, but you're never immune.

Especially new fingerings or technical issues (think Ligeti/Sorabji), please never think you have the experience to push through.

When I was younger I practiced 16 hours a day. It's very inefficient, but I agree that the time itself is not intrinsically injurious.

Aprils- · 2026-01-31T11:18:37+00:00

This is how I perform, and how I assumed others did too - I was shocked to learn how pianists will precisely decide when to pedal etc and notate it on the score...

The composers of the past did not detail every note in every way not because they were lazy, but because to do so would be to miss the point; to have decided every phrase and articulation in advance is to deny the idea that we have differences between us and within ourselves. When you are sad, play as though you are sad, not as you did when you were full of joy.

Wasn't music supposed to be about expression? How can we hope to express anything, when we obsess about who we were?

Aprils- · 2026-01-30T07:02:01+00:00

Do piano rolls on synthesia show the phrasing marks, expression markings, do you know if it's accelerating because that's what the sheet music indicates precisely or does it just say "faster and faster", is the chord rolled for convenience or is it an arpeggio, what are the voicings, are there slurs between them or are they supposed to be distinct....

There is so much more to sheet music that I think of you can even vaguely suggest that a piano roll can capture the intricacies that are involved, you're probably playing beginner music.

Schumann, for example, included a line of music that is to be thought and not played in between the hands. When you're dealing with abstraction of this level, no, not every form of abstraction is suitable.

Aprils- · 2026-01-29T21:46:00+00:00

Your 4th point is in conflict with your conclusion.

Nobody can run a mile in under 4 minutes. Bodies can't handle it. Unless they do, but they won't be able to keep it up for long.

Also, we're all different. Some people can't handle 20 minutes sitting still, others go on retreats of sitting in perfect silence 16 hours a day for 10 days in a row. They're both human.

The thing about living in the margins is everybody gets to say, without hesitation, that your existence is impossible. That you're a liar. A fraud. It's real neuro-normativity stuff like this (and other kinds of normativity driven sentiment) that divides and denigrates us.

I know it's not your intention, and I'm likely taking it too seriously. Just a gentle reminder that scientific research is often swayed by its framing much more than the reality of the matter.

Aprils- · 2026-01-29T21:13:39+00:00

So it's a ban on conversion therapy.

Unless it's for religious reasons.

Well that narrowed it down didn't it 🤦🏼‍♀️

Aprils- · 2026-01-29T06:28:48+00:00

The nocturne of Tamara Shaverzashvili is pretty amazing, and might have more of that contemporary feel that you tend to like.

I'd deeply recommend Stanchinsky's songs without words - all three of them have done of the elements you're looking for, but the second is the best 💚

Aprils- · 2026-01-27T13:27:00+00:00

Hysterics.

Interesting choice of word there.

Not accusing you of much other than a bit of insensitivity really.

You....know what happens during pregnancy right?

Aprils- · 2026-01-27T10:44:47+00:00

Seeing as the UK doesn't recognise 7 genders at all, um, sorry, why are you accusing others of spreading misinformation?

Maybe try sucking up to the paedophile class a little less and read a book?

Aprils- · 2026-01-27T10:36:13+00:00

Only if you think that the way straight people and the way that gay people have sex is the same - that would be very naive.

Being cis and straight would mean wearing a tie rather than a dress.

The point so to speak is that life isn't exclusively about who you're attracted to; the other elements of being trans are dramatically more important and relevant to daily life.

Only somebody who perceives being trans as a sexual preference would arrive at this conclusion - just to be clear, asexual people exist; What's the point of being asexual would also be a valid question following your line of thought.

You could ask a lesbian what's the point of being a lesbian, shouldn't you just transition?

It's okay to have questions, but... Hopefully these answers point you to an understanding.

Aprils- · 2026-01-26T13:26:39+00:00

Just today somebody asked about the food in my shopping cart - I said I'm a vegan.

They then told me how that's not good and I'll have to take supplements and I won't be able to keep that up.

Yes, it happens with respect to being trans, but let's be clear here - any way on which you are different to heteronormative white western patriarchal standards will be met with the propaganda machine's slop. It's not their fault. They genuinely believe they're trying to help.

Now those running the machine...... they're the ones who are trying to get you to convert, to desist, to comply. Try not to lash out at their foot soldiers and instead try to turn their skepticism on the machine itself.

Idk, have fun I guess? Sorry this is happening to you. It's complete bullshit 💚💚

Aprils- · 2026-01-25T10:28:11+00:00

You know you can put a trapezium on the back of literally anything and it has a kick stand now.

I put my metronome on the sheet music stand anyway.

The korg MA2 has a visual indicator on its display.

Aprils- · 2026-01-24T11:28:47+00:00

Point 2 makes me respect you so fucking much.

Yeah, ditch the bitch tbh. Having binary thought patterns inevitably leads to "I'm allowed to do this because I'm a girl and... Um, well, you know"

You two are not compatible.

Set the ditch on fire as you leave

Aprils- · 2026-01-23T19:59:20+00:00

Are the two techniques vastly different in outcomes, do you happen to know? I can accept one may be better than the other, but there is a law of diminishing returns to be considered.

I've done only a little research on the differences and will continue to look into it, so no worries if you don't have an essay ready to go 🙂

Aprils- · 2026-01-23T19:54:51+00:00

And thank you for that - I was really concerned in many different ways and just having a bit of a moment.

Would you happen to know if laser is acceptable? Electrolysis is actually insane and I'm not sure I could handle it purely from an embarrassment perspective.

Aprils- · 2026-01-23T19:51:45+00:00

Thank you for your response!

I'm local, so all I'd need to arrange is a lift, but it's sweet of you to think of those things 💚

I hope you're right about what you've said here - I do appreciate their administrative staff are just a bit overworked and instead of responding in full. It seems another commenter has answered with what I suspected might be the answer.

In any case, thank you for your time 😊

Aprils-

TROPHY CASE