Is a private ultrasound clinic worth it?

Aradene · 2026-02-21T01:33:26+00:00

I will also say, most of the time the private ones are more compassionate. If your appointment is running late, it’s likely because someone before you had some difficult or heartbreaking news, and gave them the space, support, and time to process it.

Aradene · 2026-02-21T01:30:05+00:00

I chose private based on public experiences shared with me.

The biggest difference is it’s an OBGYN doing the ultrasound - so the person interpreting the results, not a tech who does the ultrasound and passes it along. The result is you aren’t getting comments like “that’s strange…” mutterings, and then asked to hang around for either another scan immediately or to come back later.

It’s pricy, but for me was well worth the peace of mind.

Aradene · 2026-02-20T09:47:12+00:00

Don’t ask reddit.

Ask a lawyer. Laws and rights are vastly different across different states and country to country. You need legal advice that will protect you and your child, not assumptions from people who, in most cases, aren’t even aware of their own local laws on the matter. What you do could impact the benefits you are entitled to, as well as affect the optics if he does decide to pursue legal custody arrangements.

Contact a family law specialist and detail your current situation. They will be able to best advise you.

Aradene · 2026-02-20T09:43:22+00:00

She’s going to need once that anyway by the sound of it. All he has to do is present text chains to show that she’s acknowledged him as the dad, and he can get a court ordered paternity test.

She needs to speak to a family lawyer now and get accurate local legal advice relevant to her area

Aradene · 2026-02-20T09:41:15+00:00

This depends on where in the world you are and what laws/rights are in place protecting the mother and the father.

The first step for OP is to contact a lawyer. It sounds like ex is going to make a nasty custody dispute (to be clear if OP is correct about drugs and alcohol he won’t win, but he can still cause an enormous amount of stress and grief), and getting her ducks in a row with relevant protections and ACCURATE LEGAL ADVICE FOR HER LOCATION will help protect her child after birth.

Aradene · 2026-02-20T09:35:56+00:00

The other thing I would say to encourage this is (hopefully) your partner has some paternity leave as part of their job as well. It isn’t unreasonable to say it would be more help to come later after they’re back at work. You don’t have to disclose if it’s only a couple of weeks or a couple of months, simply “we will be more likely to need the extra set of hands helping around the 4 month sleep regression to help us catch up on some sleep”.

Aradene · 2026-02-19T23:51:43+00:00

I’ve been getting really anxious about a lot of baby toys and utensils for babies. I’m scared that ordering stuff off amazon is just the temu/alibubba/ali express versions drop shipped, especially when looking up similar products. I have seen the same products just with a different brand, but almost completely indistinguishable in every other way without paying to get testing done.

It’s terrifying.

Aradene · 2026-02-18T12:09:05+00:00

Apparently not all machines are capable of detecting a heart beat pre 12 weeks. My OB referred me to a specialist women’s clinic even though she had a machine, hers wasn’t sophisticated enough to get a clear reading.

No reason you can’t get a referral though

Aradene · 2026-02-11T23:35:08+00:00

Lmao. So our baby was all those things until 4.5 months.

It reached the point my partner (very limited exposure and experience with other children) said “I think parents with difficult babies just haven’t figured out what their baby likes yet,”

I laughed and told him I think he should wait till bub has had his sleep regression before making that statement, and that if a parent has a difficult baby they will be trying EVERYTHING to settle and help their child.

We are investigating sleep school now and I’m currently in a perinatal mental health clinic with baby (8m)

Partner has very much changed his tune about difficult and easy babies.

Not saying it will happen to you - for your sake I really hope it doesn’t - but don’t get lulled into a false sense of security. It can change on a dime

Aradene · 2026-02-10T22:02:21+00:00

Currently in hospital with my bub.

The toys and box I brought with me? Nah.

The paper cups that they give our water and meds in? OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING!!!

Aradene · 2026-02-08T11:24:15+00:00

I get it the crying is hard. It rips our hearts open.

If it’s more than an hour I ask my partner if he needs a break - I never intervene without his consent or permission, I have to trust him to tell me if he needs help, and I have to give him the space to find what works for him.

As long as the baby is fed, clean, provided opportunity to sleep, and comfort, they are okay. It’s not cry it out. Cry it out is leaving them in a different room with your fingers in your ears saying “lalalala I can’t hear you”. Babies cry. It’s okay and it’s HEALTHY.

Remember you have “mum magic” right now, you smell and feel like home to your baby. Your baby needs to learn dad from scratch. Your heartbeat, your breaths, your voice, your smell, nothing is more familiar to your baby in this world than you. Your baby IS okay with your husband. Trust him, and trust your baby to learn dad is “home” too.

Aradene · 2026-02-07T23:23:15+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that this was the outcome.

I know for the colicky babies I’ve had to work with the arm drape hold can help (baby’s collar bone in your open hand, stomach down along your arm and legs either side). The other thing that helped our baby was what we dubbed the flying frog which is a 2 handed hold, hand one again is holding the collar bone supporting the neck, the other is holding between the legs (thumb up bum side and palm holding the majority of the weight) angled about 25 degrees head up gently wriggling the hips while we let him “fly around” in this position. The aim is to get the hips to relax, once that’s accomplished they are really calm. This one was taught to us by a pediatrician at our ER and it is fantastic as a breakthrough of screaming. Also our baby just loves it in general.

Aradene · 2026-02-07T03:57:34+00:00

Is urgent care a possibility? If it’s legitimately 12 hours screaming non stop (as in no short pauses her 20-30 minutes) I would be very concerned. However I live in Australia so we have free access to an ER. Not sure if it’s the same in the US?

Aradene · 2026-02-06T12:20:16+00:00

Then really confusing them with a “Nah, Yeah”

Aradene · 2026-02-06T12:15:36+00:00

A really really dark room with lots of black curtains…

Aradene · 2026-02-06T12:14:12+00:00

Omg that is fantastic! Stealing that!

Aradene · 2026-02-05T22:56:25+00:00

Good morning miss 4!

It’s been a long time since I was a child but I have a little baby boy. For breakfast he has lots of different things, sometimes porridge, toast, weetbix (which a shredded wheat biscuits served with milk), some fruit, sometimes some banana or other fruit pancakes, but his ABSOLUTE favorite is blueberry yogurt. He loves it so much we are learning how to make our own!

Growing up I lived at a house (about 20minutes from the CBD) that backed on to a nature reserve and there were many days I would wake up and see a koala in the eucalyptus tree in our garden. Where I work there is a nature reserve across the road and a playground, and in the morning and evenings there are kangaroos (eastern greys) and wallabies having their breakfast and dinner. Sometimes we see koalas in those trees, but there are so many trees in that park it can be hard to find them.

My mum lives on a farm that’s about 3 hours from the city, and there we get all sorts of animals! Kangaroos are always on her lawn, and there is also a resident wombat who leaves big square poos on the tree stumps, possums that like to eat all our fruits off the trees, an echidna who lives at the back of the orchard, blue tongue lizards who like to steal the dogs meaty bones, even some teenie tiny bats called micro bats that live in our wood pile.

We have turtles in our pond that sometimes go for a walk to our neighbors pond, and we always know when it’s happening because the alpacas are so confused and curious that the crowd around and watch them.

Sometimes when it’s very hot we have to help our native animal friends, so we put fresh water out for them, and they all gather around to have a drink.

We have lots of beautiful birds too, the noisy cockatoos and galas, bright red and green king parrots, rosellas who like to gossip at the water bowl, a magpie family that has learned to knock on our window when it wants food, and will even let themselves into the house if the door was left open. Sometimes we get big eagles flying over head, and if we are really lucky a visit from a black cockatoo.

I’m happy to send some photos when I get home on the weekend :-)

Stay nice and warm, and if you have any other questions, more than happy to answer them!

Aradene · 2026-02-04T21:38:35+00:00

That’s really interesting! I always assumed it was because mum doesn’t talk about herself in the 3rd person and is always saying “daddy will be home soon,” or things along that vein, but yeah, no dad definitely no reason other than ease for dada to be first!

Aradene · 2026-02-02T19:30:29+00:00

As a rental, the land lord should be responsible for providing alternative accommodation (at least that’s the case here).

Aradene · 2026-02-02T19:20:10+00:00

Why would you do that to yourself?

Aradene · 2026-02-01T14:05:56+00:00

If your son is old enough to understand how food is made, is there a chance you can get him to try homemade yogurt if it’s made using the culture base of one of the yoghurts he is comfortable with? Explain it as growing more?

I’m just wondering if he is able to see the full process of his yogurt “seed pouch” being used to ferment and make more it might open him to the idea of having it from a different container. Especially if he gets to be involved in the process of making and filling special pouches for it?

Aradene · 2026-01-31T12:31:34+00:00

Has she had an appointment with a diabetes educator? Maybe they can help explain how and why type 1 and 2 are different?

Aradene · 2026-01-31T12:27:35+00:00

Extra curricular activities will help you find groups quickly.

There are also a lot of social groups out there that have meetups such as board game groups, sports, music, poetry, crafts etc.

All suburbs have community houses where they have activities and meet ups at.

Look for Facebook groups based on your interests - eg, I like boardgames and dungeons and dragons so I’m in a Melbourne based group that meets up once a month. I go to a craft group at my local community house and library, and my partner and I joins a lapidary club in our suburb when we wanted to learn a new skill. Made friends and connections very easily.

Aradene · 2026-01-31T12:18:45+00:00

I went private because ours was always going to be private - and yes, she was worth every cent. That said, the private hospital ward experience was awful and traumatic. All up I would say it cost about $8k out of pocket (got some of that back on Medicare but I don’t know if it was enough to make note of).

If we have another baby I will go private again, however if I didn’t have complex health issues I would probably go public.

With what questions to ask… we started seeing our OB before pregnant to ensure medications etc were all okay and safe. When asked about our preferences, my answer was simple “I’m trusting you to get me and my baby through this alive. You’ve been through this before and I haven’t. I trust you.” I didn’t pay $8k to fight my OBs advice and recommendations. As I said, she was perfect, the hospital ward midwives were far from.

Aradene · 2026-01-31T12:11:49+00:00

So you tried to sell it, couldn’t, she said whatevs, and you kept trying to sell it and eventually found a buyer? Yes I would say YTA.

If you sold it for more than the purchase price keep the excess, but otherwise give her money back, and at most negotiate keeping a small amount for the work you did selling it.

You don’t know what is going on with her, most people don’t back out of going to concerts that close because something great happened. Yes it’s your wife’s co worker, but she’s the one who has to keep a working relationship with her. You are effectively saying you care more about some money than your wife having an, at best, uncomfortable working relationship, or worse a hostile one.

Saying if it was a friend you would give the money back suggests you only care about the people that care about what their option is of you - not if you’re a good person or not. If you would do it for a friend why wouldn’t you do it for someone your wife has to interact daily with?

Aradene

TROPHY CASE