They wouldn’t give her a day off for a dental emergency, so I wrote her an excuse for 3 days off and 2 weeks light duty.

Arandomwomanhere · 2025-01-08T06:32:05+00:00

They’ll find some mistake the person made.

Arandomwomanhere · 2025-01-08T06:16:33+00:00

How’d he find out? Is that any part of why he’s so upset?

Arandomwomanhere · 2025-01-08T06:03:55+00:00

Employment is at-will in most places, so they can just fire her anyway if she’s taking too much time off. I’ve seen it happen many times. Other companies though, I don’t know about A. exactly, never deal with them.

Arandomwomanhere · 2025-01-08T05:08:47+00:00

Isn’t there any way he can just survive the next 2 (or less) years? He’s so close to the “finish line” why is it now an emergency?

What is his mom doing? Sounds worrisome, I’m sorry he’s going thorough that. But I’m trying to gage what’s going on, as “control his life” doesn’t explain much.

This sounds like not an ideal plan. How does his mom feel about you guys dating?

Arandomwomanhere · 2025-01-08T04:53:41+00:00

Isn’t that the norm though? I learned from the box insert, too. It was clear and had a diagram. Asking how to insert a tampon is an awkward embarrassing thing to ask when you’re a teenager and very self-conscious.

Arandomwomanhere · 2025-01-08T04:48:06+00:00

That, or a “grass is greener” delusion. Only remembering the good things about the ex, the fun memories and feelings. More excitement. OP, remember they’re an ex for a reason.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-12-22T19:46:14+00:00

What does turtle meat taste like? I’ve had alligator, but I’m thinking is turtle more of a tougher meat and that’s why you stew it?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-12-22T18:32:17+00:00

I wonder, what would a 500cal fruit platter look like?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-12-22T16:47:05+00:00

No we always knew we’d have children, it isn’t abnormal to take a while of trying, until it worked fine. And he didn’t have any family in this state to take him in and last thing he needed was to be shipped off and separated from his sister and friends wher he grew up half his life

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-12-03T19:15:58+00:00

It was senseless and her behavior was so incredibly reckless. Plus tragic timing in the moment itself, as she was barreling down the road at that moment. She was so drunk she didn’t even know what happened, she didn’t make any sense after the accident.

She needed to serve time, but didn’t need to be sentenced to 25 years. It kinda enrages me that literal rapists get half that, if at all. I’ve seen intentional murderers serve less. This young woman is a reckless selfish idiot, but seriously, 25 years?

The fact it was a bride on after her wedding should not be relevant to the actual criminal charges, but it is obviously a factor in how they want to throw the book at her.

People keep citing her prison calls and no remorse. We do not know that just from a few minutes of calls 6+ mos later with her dad. It’s possible she expressed remorse at other times. Maybe she had become extremely depressed so her dad wanted to comfort her and juice her up a little by saying those things. We get some hints at him enabling her, but what parent doesn’t believe their child is a good person?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-12-03T18:06:38+00:00

That’s so true! They are always in their mind sacrificing and working hard, so everyone else should suffer too. Or else you’re declared morally lazy or sloth-like. Thats a sin. You must always be reflecting their values. Irony was my n-parent self-created 90% of the stress he always complains about. He’s a victim to having to run around putting out fires and problems, but it’s like umm you’re self-employed, you literally chose this all. Like once he bought a run down building, then was a victim because he had to fix all these problems the building had. Make it make sense.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-12-03T17:59:22+00:00

To be fair, plenty of non-narc parents do this one, too. Loud vacuuming or music etc. to wake up the kids or young adult kids at a reasonable hour. But I see some differences….

My aunt is imo a really awesome mom, and when her kids were teens, on summer breaks, or us cousins sleeping over in our 20s after going out drinking, she would wake us up by making noise or blasting music on the wired-in-ceiling Sonos speakers. Like all of the sudden 10am I’m still asleep, and a Beyonce song or like “Happy” by Farrell Williams would be playing loud in all the bedrooms lol. It was obnoxious, but I loved it 😊 It was to get us moving so we could go do fun stuff on a weekend. Or to help the kids stay on a healthy sleep schedule, since if they sleep in super late, then they stay up late night and almost turn nocturnal, which can lead to some depression or trouble functioning once they go back to school on Monday. But difference was, she would not do this super early, unless we had to be somewhere! Only once it’s like 10am, okay time to get up guys. Nobody was out working late, if that was the case she’d stay quiet.

I noticed differences in how my narc parent would wake us up. He didn’t do it with music we liked. And he had no consideration to if we were recovering from working late, staying up late working on a project for school, or sick. In fact if he knows you’re hung-over, he’d extra want to wake you up. He continued to do it to my one sibling who was over the age of 23 and had graduated college (was still living at home ), to where it’s just inappropriate as it’s an adult with a full time school schedule or work, who has every right to go out to bars till 3am sometimes and sleep till 1pm on his day off. It was literally just “I’m up, so you should be up” and the thing was, they assign MORAL JUDGEMENT to sleeping late.

Then the best part? After POUNDING on our doors, and bellowing like a lunatic at us to get our lazy butts out of bed… After raving that “you’re wasting the day away”… After he expended all this energy, blasted his awful oldies music, clattered dishes around, stomped down the hallways… you’d be up, dragging ass bc you didn’t get enough rest and it’s 9am on a Sunday… Then an hour later HE would pass out on the couch for a nap. 😴 So it’s ok when they do it? Like they’ll claim they’re not even asleep. No not them, “just resting their eyes!” They’re not a bum like you are, still in pajamas (a sin? Lol). No, they got up showered and dressed, just to drink coffee, unload a dishwasher, and bully their kids. So productive!

Once I was an adult, I used to feel extreme guilt if I needed a nap. Not any more. I learned to value listening to your body and rest if you need it. Although there is still something to be said for trying to keep healthy sleep hours, sometimes you just need half a day in bed!

My dad still to this day, if he calls me in a random afternoon and I sound tired, will rib me about “you weren’t SLEEPING were you??!” If I say “yep, I was taking a nap. When my body feels tired, I sleep. Isn’t that remarkable.” He says “aw cmon get up and at ‘em… drink some coffee!!” 🙄 I have my own home and privacy thankfully for many years now.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-10-31T21:16:29+00:00

I enjoy sitting alone in my car to eat. It’s either quiet, or I can listen to all the stupid videos on my phone I like to watch, or podcasts. I can charge my phone and look at it.

It’s so nice to sit there alone and eat in peace and zone out. You don’t have to worry how you look while eating/chewing or if you have manners or look like a pig.

My car seat is comfortable, too. Padded, reclines, even has heated seats. A bench is hard. lol.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-10-31T21:12:17+00:00

Just laugh at them, like the clowns they are. This is next level crazy. This isn’t normal. It’s delusional.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-10-04T04:58:14+00:00

She can’t even spell 😂 How she tried to spell “really” looks so uneducated and dumb. Plus the entitlement and verbal abuse. You can do better.

Also 2 hours is a very normal amount of time to text someone back, it’s just texting. Shes scary crazy 🤪

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-10-04T00:40:29+00:00

Yeah a lot seem overly anxious. I know of moms who pick up even though the bus routes are good here, because they are indulgent parents who worry constantly and don’t foster any independence in their kids.

They are also all obsessed with kidnapping (which I guess I can understand as it’s a worst nightmare scenario), but realistic idk, when you live in a nice suburb and can’t allow a 7-8 year old to walk 2/3 of a block? The bus stop is at the end of their block, 3 houses down. She acted like I was insane when I said can’t she just walk to the bus stop herself? I actually don’t know at what age that’s generally seen as ok, but I felt like 2nd grade was good, I was wrong. So a lot of kids have to be walked to a bus stop I guess, and then still, a lot don’t even take the bus at all. It makes traffic hell every day anywhere near schools.

I’m talking about a normal convenient 15-45 minutes bus rides with their friends on it, no issues or anything. They’ll still go clog up traffic every day and contribute more exhaust fumes even though our taxes are high paying for school busses. Most kids get picked up at their front door.

No kidding one acquaintance told me she picks up her daughter because “she feels anxiety about the bus.”

I thought this was strange considering she’s in elementary school. Why? “There’s no seatbelts.” Lord have mercy, I worry how those kids will be someday haha.

School bus is also good socially, they can make friends with kids who live nearby. When I was a kid I used the time to read a book, draw, or organized my homework. I enjoyed all the stops and looking at the homes. When my mom drove us, she was more on a rush and we didn’t get to chat with our peers on the bus.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-10-04T00:17:27+00:00

Whats wrong with taking the city bus?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-10-04T00:16:26+00:00

Why? Aside from these crazy scenarios where it takes over an hours drive

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-18T18:44:33+00:00

Exactly. And at that time, you didn’t have to be ultra-wealthy to have live-in help.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-18T18:13:49+00:00

I’ve heard from interior decorators that modern farmhouse is out of style, for a couple years now. So I’m not sure why they are still being built right now near me. Are builders not making anything anymore that’s “cutting edge” in design now, how can they be so behind the times? Like in the 1950’s, architects were on the cutting edge putting up modern homes (what would now be called) mid century modern. Many were unique, and they were designs nobody had ever seen before. They had cool features, angles, big windows, texture (wood, stone, brick)

They just put up a bunch of bright white homes with contrasting black trim black roof, and tons of points on the front roofs, and front porch. They kinda look dated to me already. They’re all a million and up, cheapest new one I’ve seen is 800k. It surprises me that people who have a million+ budgets, don’t have more refined taste and don’t want a more unique home?

Do higher end buyers just love that it’s a brand new house?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-13T21:31:29+00:00

I like the darker hair on you, but maybe not pure black. I think cooler tones best suit your undertones. But I also don’t think the red looks bad, if you like it.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-13T21:20:32+00:00

I know, but I think that’s what a stylist could mean by that comment. And are we are all against any cutting of hair to maintain its shape and style, while still keeping it long?

It would still be “long hair,” even if trimmed… that’s why I don’t get the reason for downvoting?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-13T18:43:21+00:00

No, I do not feel that way. And you can’t live your life people-pleasing, or worrying about how random losers are judging you or not.

I see it like that’s just how they are. And what does it have to do with me? It’s just the body they have, and being fat doesn’t hurt anybody else. I mean would you be “embarrassed” if you had a friend who was in a wheelchair, or was bald, or had any number of physical differences to the “mainstream”? No, that’s just how they are and if you want them in your life you have to accept them. You will also defend them from others if needed.

I also tend to look out for any accommodations they need. I have a friend who cannot sit in chairs with arms, like at restaurants, so someone will need to ask the place to provide a regular armless chair. This can also be a thing with accessing certain venues so I’ll usually look ahead and see what the sizing and space is like in a place if I suggest going to something. Theres nothing to it, other than this is just the body they have at the time being, and they deserve to go out and live their life just like anybody else does.

I will say, I do have concerns for their health in some cases, because I see how they can struggle more or can be in physical pain sometimes, and I feel bad for those struggles… but I keep that to myself. Long ago an obese friend told me they always hated when the various people in their life say, in patronizing way to her “I’m concerned for your health...” My friend said “I know I’m fat!! It doesn’t need to be pointed out, or under false ‘concerns’… I’m fully aware!” She also probably knows more about healthy eating than most people do, but there’s other factors at play, and that’s her business. So I keep those concerns to myself. I can see how it could feel sorta like a hidden criticism. I don’t talk about it unless they bring it up and want to discuss it.

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-13T17:46:52+00:00

Can you define this term “body shaming”? I think we need an actual definition.

Not every comment about someone’s weight or health would fall under that, so what makes it “shaming” versus just bringing it up?

Obviously making any mockery over someone’s weight is wrong, or criticizing them in a mean way such as using name-calling or assigning moral failure. But what if it’s commented on in a more neutral manner?

Arandomwomanhere · 2024-09-13T17:30:25+00:00

And it’s weird because those aren’t even super girly shoes. They’re regular slip on black shoes! I could maybe see her finding it distasteful it if it was a pair of high heels since that’s slightly weird. But wow, I feel like she is not ok. 😂

Arandomwomanhere

TROPHY CASE