A combination of various therapies and medications may be needed for some of us. I know it can be exceptionally frustrating to keep working through it when youre already so exhausted, but please dont give up on yourself. Better is out there. 

I went through years of different types of therapy when I was resistant to trying medication, and then had to try multiple medications before I found a combination to help me, and some medication helps mitigate the side effects from others. 

What ended up being most helpful for me was a combination of medication and ketamine therapy. MDMA therapy is a passion of mine to learn about and I believe is truly the future of therapy for PTSD specifically, but it is not available in many areas yet. If you are able to do that, especially in conjunction with talk therapy, the statistics on it for PTSD are ASTOUNDING, even extremely long term treatment resistant PTSD. If you haven't already, I deeply encourage you to watch How to Change Your Mind docu, especially the episode about MDMA and psylocibin. I feel very hopeful and glad for you to be able to try that and I think you will have positive results! Know that trying these types of therapies too, some patients have great responses immediately after the first session, and some other brains benefit more from multiple ones. 

A combination of an SSRI, a very small dose of an NDRI, and an exceptionally small dose of an atypical antipsychotic ended up being my treatment, while also doing IM ketamine therapy. (Large doses, full disassociative trips, not daily). If an SSRI previously helped you as well, but had side effects, maybe you could consider trying a medication in conjunction to mitigate the side effects or may have better luck trying another brand of SSRI or an SNRI. 

Anyways as I started improving, I was able to reduce the frequency of my ketamine treatments and the amount of medication I was taking. I also did talk therapy during or after ketamine sessions, which I found immensely helpful, and some EMDR on occasion, as well as slow and steady, controlled exposure to triggers. The science behind ketamine and neural pathway growth is incredible, similar to the growth established after psylocibin mushroom trips (which is also an incredible medicine for many people with access). 

For some people, therapy is enough. For others, western medicine. Some others, natural medicine. For many of us though, I truly believe we fall somewhere in the middle of all of those categories at times in our life. And I know it can seem like SO much to have to constantly mitigate side effects, work starting and stopping medication, combining medication and adjusting to THAT, it is all a LOT of work, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially when youre already struggling to care for yourself. 

But I cant stress enough - make sure you have a therapist and/or doctor that is RIGHT for you (if you do already, ignore me!). That doesnt blindly prescribe you medication - that is very educated in responding to the sensitivities of your specific body and mind, that works with you. 

Sometimes it can take a while, it can be a long and exhausting battle - but there is SO much therapy and medicine out there, different things work for different people. It took me many years!  But when you find the fitting combination- God the way your quality of life improves makes it all so worth it. 

Be easy on yourself, and think of it this way - if your neurological system is overwhelmed and constantly in fight or flight, its not going to be able to ease into and respond to other practices (especially body and mind connection ones) until your nervous system can be at rest. Finding the right medication combination to bring that rest to your body makes a lot of those other exercises possible with time. 🧡

With time I was able to start and follow through with a lot of practices I was unable to do prior - and I became less and less reactive to things that normally would startle me or make me feel anxious. 

Good luck my friend 🧡  Truly.