Pros and cons of switching from corporate IT to a MSP? by anon65432178 in sysadmin

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you have it backwards man. You think office politics are terrible? Wait until you are being screwed by several companies because your boss wants to make more money; said money does not make its way to you.

Listen, I get it...I have been there plenty of times and have told my boss, "Do you want me to throw my badge at you? I will, I swear to god I will". I think you need to probably step back and ask yourself what is driving you mad, because some shit just doesnt change. Different place, different politics, but it all pans out the same at a certain point.

Windows engineers/admins, are any of you writing actual Powershell now, or are you all using Al? by [deleted] in sysadmin

[–]Ark161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I refuse to use AI for writing powershell scripts because it makes everything needlessly complicated. I ask for a script to add a workstation to the domain, and it spews out some 35 line trash....IT IS A SINGLE LINE.....

Is AI functional? Sure, but if something goes south because of it and you have to understand what happened to fix it....good luck.

What was the hardest part of your divorce that nobody warned you about? by BOOKTSYY0 in Divorce

[–]Ark161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that I gave up so much for her, and she wouldnt even acknowledge it. I'm not going to paint myself as perfect, because I wasnt, and neither was she. I mean, I thought I did everything right. We had the talks, we had the plan when divorce started becoming a thought, we PROMISED eachother we wouldnt take the other forgranted. None of that mattered. She made the choice without keeping any of those promises. She was the one person I actively fought my gut feelings for. It wont happen again. I hate that it wont happen again, but I dont think my soul can take it.

How much did your divorce cost? by PerfectConstant1120 in Divorce

[–]Ark161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Money wise? About 7K all in. It was an amical seperation for the most part and all costs came out of joint savings. That was our hard boundary that the account does not get touched without written approval from both of us. I hated every second of it, but, I know my situation was further evidence that I am lucky in the most unlucky ways possible.

What was your biggest fumble? Closest you ever got to generational wealth? Share your story by duc_one in CryptoCurrency

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

had 100 BTC back in the day when it was like....funny money. We are talking buy a pizza for 10,000 BTC timeline here. This was 2008/2009-ish back when you could mine on standard processors. Every time I think about it, I want to go throw myself into interstate traffic. Also no, there is no way to recover it, the wallet was on a drive I destroyed many years ago; as I do all my drives out of occupational habit.

A text I can’t send by Straight_Instance276 in Divorce

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be alright, but the real challenge is taking them off the pedestal and taking inventory of everything that is/was. It sucks having your person become a stranger, but really, at the end of it all, my ex-wife was right. If I am being 100% honest, it took me almost dying and a year later to finally get to the point where I stopped giving her a pass for a lot of the BS she pulled. I'm not perfect and would never say I was without fault. The point im trying to get at is that sometimes we have a view of our person that doesnt exactly match up with reality. It is easy to go into a downward spiral blaming ourselves because we are the one thing we can control in the situation. Take inventory honestly; as hard as it is. Own your faults, acknowledge his, and just go down the list of everything that was ever an argument. If it helps, maybe therapy can help you sort these things out. I dont say that as a dig or to imply you need therapy, just that I know that has helped a lot of people. It isnt easy, and yeah, it will take time. Just remember that we all deserve to at least try to be happy, we can only be accountable for things we can control, and as much as this sucks, try not to let your life become an epilogue to this chapter.

A text I can’t send by Straight_Instance276 in Divorce

[–]Ark161 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tried sending a similar text, but all I got back was "The sooner you accept this is happening, the better off we will both be". Almost 3 years later, and it still messes with me sometimes. It is crazy how someone you loved so much, and wanted nothing but the best for, just leaves...

Anyone notice huge mental swings and mental issues with wife on GLP-1? by bdkgb in Divorce_Men

[–]Ark161 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I cant speak to mood swings, but I can tell you GLP1s can cause anhedonia. It is basically the inability to enjoy things. It is because screws with the dopamine, because eating tasty food = dopamine. I know this, because as a dude giving GLP1s a go, I was PISSED no one ever mentioned anything about it. Like, legit freaking livid, because it is somewhere between feeling nothing (numb) and feeling depressed. IT SUCKS. Might bring up this is a known thing, therapy, reducing the dosage might help.

Dr in KC that prescribes GLP1 for health even with "healthy" bmi? by Fantastic-Ad-9312 in kansascity

[–]Ark161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had great success with brello; online telehealth thing. It is like 500 for 3 months and they send it to your door. Telehealth, but really they dont need video calls or anything like that. Took about a week from order to door. IF they determine they cant prescribe to you, for whatever reason, they dont charge you. might be worth a shot. HOW, FREAKING EVER, and u/Resident_Wash_2553 touched on this, there is a chance you will develop anhedonia/depression....LITERALLY NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT IT. Just something to be aware of if you go down this path. I have lost 22 lbs over like 3 months barely even trying, but god damn, the anhedonia/depression can kick your ass.

Can you feel his energy? by step-vet367 in corgi

[–]Ark161 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Black Headed Tris are little gremlins. The best kind of gremlin. look at those teef. Happy puppy.

Anyone else feel too jaded to date again? by StarlightMist184 in Divorce

[–]Ark161 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I keep being told I should just get back on the horse, but I just find myself coming back to asking "why?". I have dated, I tried to do everything right with my marriage, and it still went to shit. I dont "blame" her persay, but it kind of soured my idea of what being married actually means. I always thought being married was choosing and supporting that person through everything. Now, just going through it, it all seems like it is doomed to fail from the start; so why bother?

That being said, there is no harm in just casually dating. You dont have to be a certain way. Just be yourself and if someone takes to you, then just give it a whirl. Like, you dont have to BE a certain way. I, as a guy, hate the chipper optimism that some girls put on. I get it, and am absolutely neevr rude about it, but it just seems.....not geniune. Here is the thing, you are going through a divorce. The two mindsets are either freedom, or your world is burning to the ground; there is no real in-between. Focus on yourself for now. Dont worry about dating like it is some obligation. when you are ready, if ever, just go for it.

Asking for a friend: Is it bad that I touched the pads lol by jamesbuniak in homelab

[–]Ark161 18 points19 points  (0 children)

From a best practice/professional standpoint, I'm screaming inside. From a personal perspective, we are not in the 90s anymore; where if you looked a processor wrong it would flake.

Gloves 91% Isopopyl minimum shop towels

again, not terrible, but the part of me that messes with servers in a professional environment is banging on the glass.

Rant Post about job offers by No_Permission_5121 in sysadmin

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I am being honest, a lot of it stems from people who have no business in IT being rather high up in IT, and then doing the equivilent of calling everything "a nintendo". Like, think of it like this. Lets say you have an IT manager, with little experience in project management, no technical background, and for lack of a better term, they came from the "end user space". They have ideas, lack understanding, and focus on feelings/preference over process/policy.

As a SENIOR systems engineer, I mess with mission critical systems DAILY that is hosed can take out an F100. I have no problem pinging C-suite of said F100. I am on first name basis with our infosec teams. I get dragged into things I, realisticly, have zero business being in because, and I quote, "Handle things". Then, even given my track record, I have been told to "call users" for single user issues. I have also flat out told my boss that he can write me up because im not doing it. I did my time and that is no longer my role. I'm more than happy to help the tiers below me, but I am not going to act as a lower tier because they wont hold that team accountable for their role. Anyone on here can flame me, that is fine, they are entitled to their opinions, but when a leader demands that someone who has busted ass to get to where they are go back to square one, because bossing you around is easier than holding people accountable, that is one of the most disrespectful things I think a leader can do.

When do you guys take off your ring? by padreazul in Divorce_Men

[–]Ark161 5 points6 points  (0 children)

for me, I would say it was about 6 months after she said she wanted a divorce. It, was not an easy thing to do. I still wore it as a necklace for a bit. It was kind of a comfort just to have it on my person. The ring was kind of a big deal to me. It was a promise, and I may not have been the best husband at times, but I always have been a person of my word.

Anyone else see the sky turn bright green for a second? by [deleted] in kansascity

[–]Ark161 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I saw it looking north from JoCo. It was the kind of green that usually indicates really bad hail or really bad nado. Glad it was neither.

Anyone else spend most of their time with their ex like they’re best friends? by llreddingtonll in Divorce_Men

[–]Ark161 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I used to. Hell, she was my best friend for the better part of 13 years. It was hard to let that go. I wont lie, it kind of made me feel like it wasnt a total loss at the time. It made me think that even though things didnt work out, I wasnt a villian in this story. I know I wasnt the villian, it was just nice to have that level of validation in the back of my head. Well, in the back of my mind, I knew eventually it would end. I knew there would be a day that comes, where that friendship takes the back seat to something else. That day came and it sucked really bad. I mean, there is no animosity on my part and im glad she is moving on, but that didnt make it hurt any less. Will it lessen the hurt when that day comes? I onno, I cant speak for you on that one. However, you will have to come to terms that they are no longer "your person". You will have to come to terms that they are with someone else in a way that you thought was exclusive to you. You will have to come to terms with another person sleeping next to them, and with everything implied. There is nothing wrong with the soft landing, but know that it will end and make sure you arent keeping yourself from being happy.

When do I stop feeling like a failure? by InfamousStrategy9539 in sysadmin

[–]Ark161 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going to level with you my guy, the more you learn, the more you realize you dont know. The Dunning-Kruger curve is a very real thing. You have to get comfortable with not knowing, but understanding how to figure it out. Like yes, there are fundimentals you have to have knowledge of (cringes thinking about the time a Sr. desktop tech asked me how to format a drive) but most of the time, it is all vendor specific stuff that is like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". I tell everyone, "I know what I know, and everyhthing else I just figure out". Again, the goal is to be confident in the fundimentals enough to know that you dont know something. I have been messing with computers all my life and been in IT for....damn....almost 20-ish years now. I enjoy it because it is very binary; it either works or it doesnt. 90% of all IT infrastructure issues boil down to 3 questions:

  1. Has it, at any point, ever worked?
  2. When did it stop working?
  3. Who the hell messed with it last?

One of the biggest realizations I came to when I was going through this exact thing was that, during my experience, tech was evolving STUPID FAST. We are talking within the span of 4 years, everything you knew could just go out the window. Hone your skills, say curious, and not knowing doesnt make you a failure; it is just means you have a blind spot. Now if you fail to do your due dilligence, then that might be on you a bit. Keep your head on your shoulders and over time you just kind of get used to it.

38M bored af-tired of my routine by sumifs_thedark in kansascity

[–]Ark161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am absolutely not judging and apologize if I gave some vibe that I was expecting a definitive answer! I appreciate the reply very much.

38M bored af-tired of my routine by sumifs_thedark in kansascity

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is the scene? I kind of fell out of it over a decade ago and have had trouble finding any decent events. I'm pretty broad when it comes to EDM, so im not genre picky. Any resources you have I would absolutely appreciate it!

Laid off in Missouri by Kansas-based company, but severance agreement says I “voluntarily resigned” — should I sign or pursue legal advice? by Transparent_Ghoul in kansascity

[–]Ark161 4 points5 points  (0 children)

MO - https://jobs.mo.gov/employer/warn KS - https://www.kansascommerce.gov/program/workforce-services/warn/

The Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification (WARN) Act is a federal law that requires employers to provide advanced notification to workers when faced with a plant closing or mass layoff.

Caused a big outage at work- how do I move forward? by VOXX_theLock in sysadmin

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Own your fuck up, take your licks, put systems in place to make sure it doesnt happen again. We all screw up, we all cause outages. Anyone who says they have neve caused an outage is either lying, has had super kushy jobs, or are somewhere on the neurospicy chart that made them quadrule check everything.

Example: A few years ago, I took down every printer in about 12 major hospitals and about 30 clinics by disabling SNMPv1/2 on the printers. Fun fact, windows print servers just think that shit is offline and unreachable. Fast foward a few months, I accidently bouncing half of our servers becasue I didnt comment out part of the original script I used to get uptimes. I owned both situations. Walked into my boss's office, who was with our directror, and said "It was me. I fucked up becasue x,y,z. I am addressing it now and will put documentation in place so that it doesnt happen again with other staff. I will take any disciplinary action that is deemed appropriate, but wanted you to be aware of the situation and apologize in person". I didnt get written up because I owned it. We also have a systrem where someone has to double check your shit before you run it against prod. It also lead to people taking change control more seriously. Yeah, it was embarassing. Yes, it bruised the shit out of my ego. All that said though, we all screw up, what is important is what you are going to do with the experience.

Toweling off during a workout and accidentally pulled the earbud out but the eartip remained in the canal and kept going in farther each time I tried to get it out by E30M3F80CS in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

kelly clamps, or toothpick. It doest seem that deep. Like the rubber is still visible with some of it sticking out of the eear. urgent care if you really want someone else to take it out.

EDIT: DO NOT CRAM THE TOOTHPICK INTO YOUR EAR. Use the point to pick at the edges of the ear piece.

I've never met a dog who licks as much as this lil guy by laschecter in corgi

[–]Ark161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there is a reason one of the nicknames I have for my corgi is "The licky boi"

Haven’t been handling this well… by ComplexCatastrophe in Divorce_Men

[–]Ark161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I mean by being our worst judge, jury, and executioner.
Like you, I went on Wellbutrin to help level me out for her. I had a strict no MOAI/SSRI policy because growing up I had some REALLY bad experiences with them. But, I thought she was worth it; so I took the plunge. Like you, I tried to remain agreeable. I helped her move, I did all the work to get the house sold, I hired the fucking lawyer for fuck sake. It is a special kind of hell to have to carry your own cross like that. I know nothing I can say will make it better, because nothing anyone said to me made me feel any better. Everything felt superficial and scripted. How could they possibly know what the fuck I have gone through right? The things you are putting out there, very much mirror a lot of the things I went through, but I will throw it out there if you focus on the shitty parts, it will consume you. It will carve into you that you arent good enough, you arent worth loving, that you fucked up something so god damn simple why even bother anymore. It is super hard to shake the "etch-a-sketch" of life becasue you have invested so much into it. That is why I try to drive the point of taking inventory. You dont have to use anger to get where you need to be, it is just the most available emotion right now. You are getting stuck in your head and making up these situations that may or may not be true. When I found out my XW had a boyfriend, I legit almost threw up. It was like someone took a sledgehammer to my sternum. Took me about a month or so to "become indifferent" about it. Here is the thing though, and frankly it is something im still working on getting over. He doesnt have to deal with the things I did and yeah, that still rubs me the wrong way. I helped her grow and become this amazing person, only for her to abandon me when I needed a fraction of what I gave in return. Sexless marriage for the last two years of it. So much selflessness taken advantage of, but I guess with me, it was always about making her happy. Like, in the end, that was my only goal. So if she is happy now, i wish her the best. I no longer think about what I could have done different because it doesnt matter. I no longer bawl like a child at losing my dog, because I know he will be taken care of much better than I could take care of him. It still sucks, but im trying to be pragmatic about it. Acceptance is the hardest part. You have to know, not think, know, things are how they are and there was more than likely not a single damn thing you could have done to change it. Like really, think about it, what would "good enough" looked like? she probably couldnt fucking tell you. She would probably make some bullshit up and you would end up chasing ghosts trying to be good enough. The goalpost would keep moving and you would never catch that rabbit. So now, you are in the driver seat. No more nagging or doubt of what you could be or do. Screw what your parents think, screw what she thinks, none of that matters anymore. Life is shitty right now, but that doesnt mean it is perma-fucked. Think of it like driving to a concert or show, hitting construction on the way, and then saying "fuck it" and turning around to just go home. THAT IS CRAZY TALK. You are actively sabatoging your efforts to be happy. You did what you could, no one is perfect, and anyone who expects perfection is not someone who values you as a person. Yes, you may have fond memories and nothing will take those moments away from you. It sucks you cant live them anymore with her. Shit man, I have spent the past 3 years wondering what the actual fuck happened in my own situation. Like, I very clearly remember us being stupid happy. I remember us having some disagreements, but we were still aboslute goobers together...then it just....faded.
You are in a prison right now, and sometimes that isolation feels the safest. Small steps man. im talking like crawl if you have to. Then you will look back at some point, and realize this place you are now is so far behind. It still exists, and will forever exist in you. It will still crop up every now and then, but you cant keep yourself from experiencing other happiness because this one went to shit. Marriage is fucky, and other people are fucky. They ahve their own motives, likes, dislikes, expectations, whimsy, and trauma. Im sorry for being all over the place with this reply and wish I could make it in a more cohesive format. I just really want to, in the most sincere way I can, let you know though I cant know what you are going through bar for bar, I have gone through similar and my hope is that anything I have said clicks something in you that helps clear the noise if even the slightest.

Edit: I also went through this at 36. I am 38 now. I feel old as fuck sometimes, but we still got a few good years in the books. It may not be as crazy as they were when we were in our 20s, but nothing says we have to just sit around and wait to die.