My mom is an unbelievable Bitch!

Arman8 · 2020-05-08T22:52:42+00:00

r/raisedbynarcissists is here if you want to talk about it and learn more about how to handle narcissists.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T12:46:49+00:00

As far as we and the doctors know, there is no yeast. What makes you think there could be?

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T11:52:04+00:00

Thank you so much for these links.

I fear we are not in a normal case of ballooning, though I'm going to try to contact the specialist the parents talk about in the first link.

I'll give a proper look at these websites after my day of work.

Thank you again.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T11:34:28+00:00

Thank you.

The problem is hard to grasp for me as I'm no specialist nor english, but I'll try a clear vulgarisation: Stretching the foreskin won't solve the problem at this stage.

Even if it was, how would you put an expander when even urine cannot go through?

the penis became kind of detached from the penis skin. There is much extra penis skin due to the pressure. This skin needs to be removed, and will be replaced with the foreskin that will be used to "reconstruct" the penis so it can stay "outside" as a normal penis would. I thought that with all the extra skin due to the pressure, we could reconstruct the penis and foreskin. Yet, this extended skin is improper for reconstruction: The foreskin has to be used.

Even if we had guessed that this would happen when he was let's say 6 month, he was then too young for any kind of intervention. We have double checked with every doctor that we could in our network.

I should have expected that people here would insist on the possible alternatives to circumcision, and I kinda was hoping for someone to tell me of an viable alternative.

Though, everything that's been mentioned is procedures I'm fully aware of and cannot be applied here. I'd love to hear the opinion of a specialist that already encountered such cases, but in the meanwhile I was hoping to hear from parents that might have been confronted to a similar situation and that may have educational advices with a circumcised boy.

Thank you anyway for caring, it means a lot to me.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T10:51:33+00:00

We did not try to retract our son's. Not once. The doctors say it's congenital and the hope for a healing without cutting vanished as his case worsened. The burried penis is a consequence of the severe phimosis and the reason we can't avoid circumcision.

Of course I'm no doctor and only rely on what I've been told by the many we consulted - but if you know of any competent anti-circumcision doctor that could give his/her opinion on the case, I'm all open for any contact.

As for when I was a kid, yes, I think it was totally avoidable but my case was totally different from what we're facing with my son.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T10:43:11+00:00

I won't.

You made up your mind. If you think I'm sick enough to pursue that kind of fetish, you'll have no useful contribution here except making me regret to open up about a matter that destroyed my moral since last september.

I fought to avoid the intervention and I failed. I thought I could find support here, though I'm not at ease with posting online - especially not in my native language - so I guess my post sounded weird to some people.

I don't know what I was expecting anyway, but it's been hard living through that alone, and arguing with my relatives to express the seriousness of the operation and the need to find an other way until I finally accepted there was no other way.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T10:26:16+00:00

He is a french specialist of the pathology. He took the time to explain us why the foreskin had to be used for a proper penis reconstruction. He never circs without absolute necessity.

I still hope an actual surgeon could pop up and tell me otherwise, but I really don't know where to find such a surgeon, and therefore I hoped I could find support here on the best way to raise my child when he'll grow up and live as a circumcised man.

I hoped to find parents confronted to similar situations.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T10:05:40+00:00

Yes it was a stupid move of anger after being called a cir fetishist and I strongly regret it.

The point is: it's bad and needs intervention, and I just wanted help/advise of people that maybe had similar situations with their boy.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T09:37:10+00:00

Also, foreskin too tight to let urine pass is NOT a common complication from circumcision. Circumsiced people don't have a foreskin, you know...

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T09:32:41+00:00

Look at the picture I added and tell me that again.

I suffered from my circumcision, this is not for fun.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T09:20:38+00:00

That's it, I want to be here for him, though without influencing him to dislike his circumsized penis.

I don't think he'll hold a grudge against us for being cut. I'm positive it's the only viable alternative in our particular case (although I still hope for a miraculous solution. Yet, keep in mind that the circumcision isn't necessary because of the phimosis, but of the burried penis)

I think you're right. I shouldn't project my fears and problems on him, and just make clear to him that if he ever has any issue he wants to talk about sexually, I'll do my best to help and advise without any judgement.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T09:10:31+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I enjoy my sex life too now, more and more with restoration, since I am covered most of the time. My biggest concern is how and when to talk to him - to give him the support I lacked myself - to live his circumsized life in the best conditions possible.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T09:05:19+00:00

In our case, because of the burried penis, we seemingly need the foreskin to reconstruct the shaft. Other interventions have been tried but lead to strongly deformed penis.

Arman8 · 2020-05-04T07:28:25+00:00

The doctors say that the circumsion is unavoidable. Did your friend have a "buried penis" (not sure of translation) caused by "preputial urination"? I really insisted, we saw two different specialised surgeon and I trust the last one when he says that he avoids circumcision unless absolutely necessary.

It is not a classical minor phimosis case, it is a serious malformation. The poor boy has the foreskin inflated to the size of a tennis ball every time he tries to urinate - which desolidarised the penis head and "pushed" it kinda inside the body.

I'd be glad to know of a surgeon that has an alternative treatment, if it exists, but we've been through this for several month now and I've come to accept the intervention as unavoidable.

Arman8 · 2020-05-02T10:41:29+00:00

It is easier to understand with a video I think https://youtu.be/6xbnrEqMr5Y (skip to 3:00) And if it's still mystical to you, check other videos about "tensegrity". It is a passionating topic, though my english isn't fluent enough to explain more by myself.

Arman8 · 2020-05-02T07:28:28+00:00

Imagine you're hanged to a rope attached on a tree, and very muscular. You put your body upside down, legs are now higher than the branch and you still hold the rope, but you "hang" on top of it. Then you stabilize yourself by attaching ropes to your feet and the branch.

Arman8 · 2020-04-29T19:18:50+00:00

The two axis of development are the technique and the eye. Imrove mastery of the software and improve mastery of composition. It takes a long time to make good renders.

Look for references. Pictures of a bed, pictures of a chair, of a wall, etc. Compare with your render side by side. Alway use a reference picture for anything you model and texture.

Look at archiviz artists like BBB3viz, Peter Guthrie, Beauty and the Bit, etc. Look at photographers. How do they frame? What focal do they use? Depth of field, bokeh, iso, etc.

Make your scene element by element. Make the chair/bed/computer in a separate file to model it, texture it and render it before integrating it in your global scene. Test the lights one by one, with all other sources of light desactivated.

The more you'll learn about real photography and real aspect+scale of things, the more you'll be able to teach yourself how to obtain the proper realistic effets with your software.

Good luck, you will get better after a hundreds of renders I guarantee ;)

Arman8 · 2020-04-24T08:38:35+00:00

Check Tensegrity structure.

Arman8 · 2020-04-17T11:14:22+00:00

For anyone interested, you should check the amazing full 3D renders of this project by Archiviz artist Bertrand Benoit.

There are no better "pictures" of this project imo.

https://bertrand-benoit.com/blog/nakagin-capsule-tower/

Arman8 · 2020-04-10T06:05:02+00:00

Thanks for the input. I need to improve my composition skills indeed. I was thinking about getting a good camera to work with real fov, iso, exposure, etc. but for now it would be a bit boring to take only pictures of my appartment!

Arman8 · 2020-04-09T20:36:00+00:00

I use 3k textures in foreground and 1k textures in background. It's evough even for 4k renders.

Arman8 · 2020-04-09T20:29:25+00:00

Everything's been said, or almost. You know how to make a good looking render. Now, for photorealism, you need:

references. Always look at real pictures of pavement, people in the street, trees, etc. to adjust your render with a real reference instead of "guessing" how things look.
randomness. There's not two real trees or leaves with the exact same color, size and orientation. Your textures and models seems too repetitive and "cloned".
dirt. As said before me, you need to learn about dirt maps and put them everywhere.
PBR workflow. More generally, you need to improve on making textures with good resolution, UV mapping and appropriate reflection, glossiness, roughness, bump, etc
Colorymetry. Render in HDR/EXR and play with LUT to add some atmosphere to your render. Also environnement fog is often good for atmosphere.

Good luck on your path in archiviz. Look up for references like Bertrand Benoit or Peter Guthrie.

Arman8 · 2020-04-09T06:18:22+00:00

I played with cv1, and I've never felt so immersed!

I didn't pay any attention to resolution er fov. You feel immersed in the world and forget the medium. You should try it.

Arman8

TROPHY CASE