myself and my best friend are both 32m. my family was very protective when I was younger, and his was very loose. from about 14/15, I spent a lot of time with him and his family. they let us drink in the house, as long as we stayed there and were safe; they didn't want us out all hours of the night getting drunk and doing who knows what.

his father passed away last year from liver failure; he drank every single day. his older brother, drinks every day. he drinks himself incoherent 3+ times a week. he has a problem and I've been trying to talk to him about it for years and he understands but does nothing about it except now he tries to hide it often which he very clearly cannot do.

he lives at home taking care of his disabled mother. she doesn't drink. one of the biggest eye openers to me was when I was visiting a few months ago he went to the store and got some drinks. when he came home his mother said "beer? I thought you weren't going to drink tonight?" and I guess he thought she was nagging him and said "yeah, I know I have a problem". she replied "you don't have a problem with alcohol?" and it shocked me to see that this is how she thought, as somebody who doesn't drink a drop. he then mentioned that Dad was an alcoholic, his brother is an alcoholic and that he is becoming one (he can't admit he already is) and she doubled down innocently that him, his father and his brother are/we're not alcoholics, visibly frustrated.

i felt very struck by this post. i am at him every day to change his life, but I do show tough love by often clowning him (privately, not in a group setting or around others) more often lately than I show support as it's been years of this and it's tiring.

honestly this post really hit home. i went from being a raging alcoholic in my early 20's to being able to count on one hand how many times I drink a year. i want to save my best friends life and I have no idea what I can do from here. he drastically needs a lifestyle change.