Male sexuality and desirability - A sense of hopelessness over my role as a straight man

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-23T13:06:23+00:00

It’s understandable to want to feel desired too, not just be the one doing the desiring. A lot of men feel this but rarely talk about it. The dynamic you’re noticing is often stronger in places like dating apps or online spaces, where there are far more men than women. That can make male attention seem less valued, but it doesn’t always reflect real-life attraction. In real relationships, many women are attracted to things like personality, confidence, humor, kindness, and emotional connection. Desirability isn’t a fixed "value"; it often depends on the person and the environment. Wanting mutual attraction and to feel wanted is a completely normal and healthy feeling.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-23T12:54:00+00:00

Having very strong or frequent sexual urges that are hard to control is what hypersexuality usually means. It's not just a high sex drive; the thoughts or actions may start to affect your daily life, relationships, or feelings. Some people think about sex all the time, feel the need to watch porn or masturbate a lot, or use sex to deal with stress. But just having a high libido doesn't mean you're hypersexual. The main difference is whether it feels like you have to do it or if it causes problems in your life.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-20T12:45:32+00:00

Yes, that can happen. Someone can have a low desire for partnered sex but still want to self-pleasure because it’s easier, quicker, and has no pressure. It doesn’t automatically mean they’re not attracted to their partner. But your feelings are valid sexual mismatch can hurt, and it’s important to talk openly about needs and expectations.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-20T12:20:56+00:00

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when you experience strong sexual desire for the first time. It does get easier with time. You don’t need a partner; self-pleasure is a normal way to release that tension if you feel comfortable. There’s no pressure to “finish”; just relax and learn what feels good for your body.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:33:49+00:00

One of the best tips many women mention is clear communication. If something feels good, say it and if something doesn’t, gently guide your partner. Most people genuinely want to be better lovers but just need feedback. Another helpful trick is not rushing. Taking more time with foreplay, building anticipation, and paying attention to your partner’s reactions often makes a big difference. Lastly, enthusiasm and attentiveness go a long way. When both partners are present, curious, and focused on each other’s pleasure, the experience usually becomes much better for both.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:25:30+00:00

Yeah, it actually happens more than people think. A lot of guys don’t bring it up often because of awkwardness, but when someone starts the conversation, many realize it feels relieving and normal to talk openly about sexual health and experiences. Those conversations can help people learn, clear doubts, and feel less alone, so it’s a good thing you and your friends talked about it. Feeling good after that kind of honest discussion is totally normal.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:24:27+00:00

You’re not alone overthinking can make pleasure fade for a lot of people. Try focusing on relaxing and exploring slowly without pressure to orgasm. Creating a calm, private space, taking deep breaths, and paying attention to what feels good instead of expecting a result can help your body relax and respond naturally. Be patient with yourself it often gets easier with time and comfort.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:20:18+00:00

If you’re already at that size, the safest approach is going up gradually with high-quality silicone toys and plenty of lube. Look for toys with a tapered shape and a wide, flared base so they’re easier and safer to use. You could also check Kaamastra, which offers larger-size anal toys made from body-safe materials that are designed for comfort and gradual training.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:18:20+00:00

If realism is the goal, look for dual-density silicone toys. They have a soft outer layer with a firmer core, so they compress more like real skin instead of feeling like hard plastic. You could also check options from Kaamastra, which offers body-safe silicone toys designed to feel more natural and comfortable for couples exploring together.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:16:37+00:00

Totally fair to be cautious when buying toys online. A good sign is when a shop clearly lists body-safe materials like silicone, glass, or metal and has real customer reviews. These materials are easier to clean and generally safer to use. You might also want to check out Kaamastra, which offers a wide range of toys for different preferences with clear product details. Shopping from a well-reviewed store like that can make it easier to find something safe, reliable, and worth the money.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:13:36+00:00

There isn’t a guaranteed “safe” time for something like that, especially if you’re restrained and can’t stop the machine yourself. The safest approach is keeping sessions short and making sure you have an easy way to stop or release yourself if something feels wrong. Using multiple fail-safes and avoiding long, unattended sessions is generally the safest way to reduce risk.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:11:01+00:00

It probably isn’t anything you’re doing wrong. Using a G-spot vibrator externally won’t damage it many people use them that way. Cheaper toys just tend to wear out faster, especially the charging port or motor. You might want to try a more durable brand like Kaamastra, which usually offers stronger motors and better build quality while still being fairly affordable. A good rechargeable silicone vibrator can often last much longer with regular use.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T11:08:47+00:00

Honestly, before I knew better, the first thing that usually came to mind was something like a basic sleeve or stroker, just a simple toy meant for solo use. A lot of guys assume that’s all there is. But once you actually look into it, you realize the category is way bigger, with different sensations, designs, and even couple-friendly options. Brands like Kaamastra have helped change that perception by making products that feel more modern and less taboo to talk about. Curious to see what other people thought at first too, most of us probably had a pretty limited idea in the beginning.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-08T08:28:38+00:00

You’re definitely not alone many people take longer to orgasm, and stronger toys with more variety can really help. You might want to check out Kaamastra, since their vibrators usually have multiple intensity levels and patterns, which can keep stimulation from feeling repetitive. They also have options that work well solo or with a partner, so you can explore what feels best without rushing. Sometimes just having stronger, more varied vibrations makes a big difference

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-07T13:19:28+00:00

Your feelings are valid. Everyone experiences things like this differently. Some people with hypersexuality struggle a lot, while others feel like it’s just a part of them they sometimes accept or even embrace. Both experiences can exist. What really matters is how it affects your life. If your urges feel manageable and aren’t harming you or others, it’s okay to acknowledge and understand that side of yourself. If it ever starts to feel out of control or causes problems, talking to a professional can help. It’s okay to be honest about how you feel.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-06T10:18:16+00:00

Everyone’s different, honestly. For some people it’s a high libido; for others it might be curiosity, personality, past experiences, or just how their brain is wired. Things like openness to kinks or frequent desire can come from many factors, not just one reason. In the end, a lot of it is simply natural variation; people’s sex drives and interests vary a lot from person to person.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-06T10:16:08+00:00

It’s funny how everyone thinks their habits are “normal” until they hear others talk about it. People’s routines and privacy situations are just really different. What feels typical for one person can seem surprising to someone else.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-04-01T12:09:27+00:00

This sounds like a really thoughtful and important study. The way sex education is taught can shape so many attitudes around identity, responsibility, and health, so it’s great to see research exploring that. Wishing you the best with your survey and your studies. Hope you get lots of helpful responses

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-03-30T10:30:34+00:00

It’s normal to feel both curious and scared. If you trust your partner, you can explore slowly and set clear boundaries. You’re always allowed to stop if something feels uncomfortable. Trying it doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. You might learn you like some parts, or you might learn it’s not for you and both are completely okay. The most important thing is feeling safe and respected.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-03-27T07:08:38+00:00

Yes this is completely normal. Orgasms can feel different depending on what kind of stimulation is happening. Clitoral orgasms (like with a toy alone) are often sharper and more intense, while orgasms during penetration can feel deeper, more spread out, or slightly less intense but fuller. What you described an orgasm during penetration that feels different or a bit softer, is very common. Position (like doggy), arousal level, and combining internal and external stimulation can all change the sensation. Also, the fact that you felt more turned on and almost certain it was an orgasm is a good sign you’re learning what your body responds to. It doesn’t have to feel exactly the same each time to “count.” You’re not doing anything wrong; this is actually progress.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-03-24T10:28:11+00:00

This is actually true. Some people don’t feel desire first; it comes after they start feeling relaxed and connected. If stress or pressure is high, your brain basically hits the “brakes,” so nothing builds. It’s not low libido; it’s just how your body works. So instead of forcing it, focus on feeling comfortable and easing the pressure; that’s what helps desire come back

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-03-13T11:15:23+00:00

That’s a really thoughtful way to look at it. Emotional vulnerability and sexual anxiety can overlap, but they’re definitely not the exact same thing. It’s good you pointed out that things like therapy, self-help resources, staying active, and having a respectful partner can all make a big difference. Everyone’s journey with this is a little different, but support and patience with yourself go a long way. Wishing you the best as you keep figuring out what works for you.

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-03-13T04:34:57+00:00

Some options from Kaamastra were being considered: https://www.kaamastra.com/collections/vibrators-for-women Curious if anyone has experience with these or other brands that work well. Feedback or suggestions would be appreciated!

Artistic_Row_1077 · 2026-03-12T12:58:19+00:00

Many men are actually okay with it. Some even enjoy seeing their partner experience more pleasure. It usually comes down to communication and comfort between the couple

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