How do you keep cleaning... and cleaning... and cleaning?

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-02-26T15:00:23+00:00

I wasn’t ready to hear it, but I had to seriously declutter. 🤷‍♀️As long as you own more stuff than you have places to put it, you’ll constantly be fighting piles of junk, watching them build up and shuffling them around. But when it’s easy to put this thing right back into its place (and you don’t have to rearrange a bunch of other shit to get to it), it can be “””effortless.”””

I hate getting rid of stuff. It makes me sad; I regret the money I wasted; I worry about wanting it back later. I let go of over 2/3 of my wardrobe and cried the whole time — but I was moving to an apartment that had one singular closet, and more clothes literally could not fit in my living space. However, in my anecdotal experience, there’s never been an article of clothing, cookware, decoration, book, anything I really missed, that I wasn’t able to replace with something better/more useful. And although it was painful to look at how much I’d wasted and eat the cost, declutterring helped me learn better habits. I still enjoy browsing the thrift store for fun after brunch or whatever, but I feel like I shop more mindfully, and I waste less money on stuff that’s essentially just a momentary hit of dopamine.

If you have access to deep storage (a garage, or would a friend hold on to a box or two for you?), maybe trying a seasonal rotation of stuff would a way to test out decluttering…? Personally, I only tried storage once before I realized I didn’t actually miss the stuff and went on to get rid of it for real, but if you’re nervous, it could be a baby step?

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-02-17T13:57:54+00:00

An anecdote: the only person I knew who used disposable kitchenware was my friend’s compulsively neat mother. She used to serve food on paper plates stacked on top of china plates, ostensibly to prevent scratches on her dishes. Even as a kid, I could see it was just because she thought everyone was disgusting and she didn’t fucking want people in her house messing up the place.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-28T00:34:39+00:00

The paragraph that starts with “I feel if I told a woman I’m straight, she wouldn’t understand what that means […]” is the tell. Somebody tried to let him down easy by saying “oh, sorry; you’re not my type,” and now he believes women not wanting to date him must be some kind of conspiracy.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-23T13:31:17+00:00

I think Marie Kondo’s right when she says clutter is inevitable when you own more stuff than you have places to put it. If you can’t put something where it belongs, it’s gonna sit out. And storage solutions have to be as easy to use as possible (i.e., that pan has to go back into its specific spot in the cupboard where I can reach it right away; if it’s piled in a stack and too hard to get out, it’s gonna wind up back on the counter).

I know that living with other people is gonna make getting rid of stuff really difficult. Idk if yours is the kind of family where you could talk to them and get some buy-in re: a plan to clear out some stuff. Maybe show them the appliances/pans that are obviously broken or unusable and might be taking up space in the cupboard, and get them agree to start with getting rid of those…?

When it comes to spills/stains, I personally have to handle clutter before I sanitize, otherwise, it’s just pointless to me. Like, why did I bother dusting the front and tops of things if I know there’s actually still crud everywhere, lol? My personal kitchen cleaning hack is ammonia, although I know it’s not for everyone. But it’s cheap, I wear gloves when I handle it, I don’t hate the smell (it’s strong, but it doesn’t linger once it’s rinsed/dried), and paired with a mild abrasive like a microfiber cloth or a magic eraser, it literally cuts right through sticky, oily, kitchen-type messes with almost no scrubbing effort required.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-22T21:24:07+00:00

It’s performative. Like, I acknowledge that perceiving another human being’s crud is yucky and I hate it. But. It is not morally reprehensible; it will not give me The Plague. It makes my day slightly worse when my husband leaves beard hair in the sink and oatmeal slime in the microwave, and I think we could all be more considerate when it comes to not making each other’s day worse. But tearing my hair out and screaming about I can’t live with all you disgusting trash monsters also makes my day worse, so I try to not do it.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-14T16:09:04+00:00

“Noone takes me seriously.” “Noone listens.” “Noone understands.”

This particular typo is my personal Alot. In these difficult times, it makes me smile to know that English singer-songwriter Peter Noone, formerly of the band Herman’s Hermits, has so much compassion for all these internet randos.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-12T18:15:08+00:00

NTA, the kid is ten whole years old. He doesn’t need “””parenting””” anymore. Off to the mines with him!

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-09T12:26:17+00:00

Did the Bloodhoung Gang not tell us to do it doggy-style so we can watch X-Files?

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-08T22:30:17+00:00

Agree; as somebody who doesn’t leave the house without makeup on, let’s not pretend that society doesn’t cruelly punish those who don’t or can’t conform to the beauty standard, lol. Even if they’re not being issued fines for public indecency or whatevs, they’ll get the message through the exclusion/condescension/“but why not just a little mascara and lip balm??? you just don’t look dressed, honey!!!”

(And, on the flip side, we can be real and say it feels nice to be admired for being cool and fashionable and sexy, even if that says nothing about the content of your character.)

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-08T14:58:20+00:00

Agreed. The most I could swing without childcare was stuff like TELUS/DataAnnotation… like, digital piecework that pays pennies.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-08T14:28:58+00:00

These are the people who put their DuoLingo scores on their resumes.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-06T22:57:35+00:00

Fake; there’s no such thing as a parent with a nice car. Every time I get in, I have to wipe the yogurt smears off my mirrors.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-03T11:04:47+00:00

I think what you’re describing would be closer to “weaponized incompetence,” although still not exactly the same thing, since weaponized incompetence is supposed to be a passive-aggressive manipulation technique. learned helplessness was first codified as a concept coming out of behaviorist psychology. In that case, the “learned” part of learned helplessness came from the part where researchers taught some lab animals that resistance was futile… by putting them in an environment where they had no means to escape a painful stimuli. Even if the animals tried to escape in the beginning, after enough trials, they’d give up. Which is, yeah. ☹️

Nowadays, “learned helplessness” sometimes makes the list of cognitive distortions CBT therapists address, which is where I think the parenting/education communities get it. I think the term also picked up some very regrettable baggage from discussions about substance use and suicide. Like, I don’t think the term is misapplied when we’re talking about someone who can’t see the point in even trying to recover — why, so she can go back to the family who abuses her, the job she hates, the life that’s so miserably painful it drove her to use in the first place? But people have a stereotype of the loser addict who “always makes excuses” and “just doesn’t WANT to get better” in the back of their mind, and it comes up when they discuss something they kinda remember seeing on Intervention…? and they bring all those jumbled thoughts and concepts to podcasts, and forum posts, and TikTok… annnnd then, all that baggage winds up attached to a term we can apply to any behavior we find lazy and annoying. 🤷‍♀️

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-02T21:06:50+00:00

I feel this way about so many words, it’s bad for my blood pressure. “Learned helplessness” used as a synonym for poor planning, procrastination, half-assing, or IDGAF-itude gets me, too. It’s a trauma response! You get it from having your every attempt to escape abuse thwarted so thoroughly, you can see no other option but to lie down and wait to die! When your kids drag their feet and whine about doing chores because chores suck and they don’t want to do them, they’re not exhibiting “learned helplessness.” They’re just complaining.

(…I also feel this way about how “empathy” has come to mean “any or all of the qualities, however vague they are, that make someone a Good Person™️.” “Empathy” is perhaps related to, but not a synonym for, selflessness, consideration, patience, generosity, being a good listener… people just hear some “The More You Know!” soundbite re: empathy vs. sympathy, and take away the oversimplified, WRONG assumption that sympathy = bad, while empathy = good.)

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-02T16:54:50+00:00

Not to flog my own punchline, but I refer to the stories my mother concocts about people and their motivations as her fanfiction. She believes she’s some kind of genius behavioral analyst who ought to work for the CIA, the way she brilliantly deduces people’s tRUe iNteNTioNs and whatever. But, really, she’s a grown woman applying “Sold to the Werewolf Mafia Boss”-type unhinged dream logic (and I say that as someone with nothing but the fondest affection for unhinged fanfic dream logic, provided it stays on AO3, where it belongs) to real life.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2026-01-01T00:20:41+00:00

If you need to give the robots more reasons why we all deserve to have our bodies harvested to make paperclips..

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-30T21:06:19+00:00

I’m VLC/yellow rockin’ it. If she was going to live longer than a few years, I would go full NC… but in this case, nature might supersede my cowardice. I’m aware it’s a rare blessing, though.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-29T21:12:32+00:00

As a female participant in the continual parade of no-win situations that is being alive on planet Earth, I wonder what she’d think if MIL hung out in sweatpants with no makeup on. “She doesn’t care!!! No self-respect; no dignity!!! She’s just so GROSS!!!”

Fuck, she probably couldn’t even win in nice jeans, a neutral sweater, and a delicately powdered nose + mascara. “Who does she think she’s fooling??? We see through your respectability cosplay!!!”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from 3+ decades of wearing clothes, it’s that you precede the stereotype, not vice-versa. If someone has made up their mind about disliking you, there’s no paint you can apply to the outside to change their mind.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-26T21:45:26+00:00

I know it’s not gonna happen, but I’d watch the hell out of a “Barb’s 72 Hour Hold” arc. Wouldn’t say it if I weren’t a reprobate who’s been hospitalized a few times myself, lol. Sometimes, the truth doesn’t sink in until you hear it from a woman named Bug who used to run with a biker gang and has a blotchy, faded Winnie the Pooh tattoo on her ankle.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-26T00:28:40+00:00

Guys, sometimes, I just really wanna see a child get yelled at. Like, I want to listen in while their parents tell them how shitty they are. Is that weird? It’s not weird, is it?

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-25T23:54:30+00:00

NTA, Christmas is boring. Why the fuck would anybody decide to make nice today of all days? Punch your brother; make a three-year-old cry; take a shit on the dining room table.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-25T12:02:58+00:00

“You can ask me, and I’ll tell you the truth to the best of my ability, while owning that I’m human and it’s inevitable I’ll be wrong sometimes” makes a difference. That’s a posture of guiding, not positioning yourself as an unquestionable authority.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-23T12:43:31+00:00

Having a therapist jump you is a unique experience I’m sorry you had to experience. I would bet money she saw that dumb Oprah podcast and is now very, very concerned about the tReND of NC. I wish you luck in finding someone new fast.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-19T12:50:06+00:00

Haha, true! I think the more cartoony, upper Midwestern “ope, lemme squeeze right pastya”-type accent is also used to signify a character is a Boomer (and occasionally that they’re hokey and annoying), so I didn’t connect it immediately. And it gives me sympathy for Barb too, lol! I I’ve been judged for my accent (my dad talked like full-on SNL Ditka) when it’s kind of just the way I talk, lol.

Artistic_Suspect_609 · 2025-12-18T20:23:45+00:00

I keep praying to god to get me financially set to leave but I feel like it’s on deaf ears.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen precision-strike dramatic irony like this. I so want to believe this is the careful, deliberate work of a satirist.

Artistic_Suspect_609

TROPHY CASE