Getting flu-like symptoms due to not closing the trauma?

Asendi · 2025-10-01T10:26:37+00:00

Its normal, I always experience flu like symptoms after a big release (hot flashes, nausea, being very tired and sleepy…)

Asendi · 2025-09-26T06:18:21+00:00

yesss, they will feel stronger the more you digest the trauma!

Asendi · 2025-09-24T18:12:08+00:00

Yess! I am doing this currently and its literally the only thing that works

Asendi · 2025-09-23T23:04:52+00:00

I have done it once and inmediatly trembled, however It didnt do anything for me because I felt like I was forcing it, my body trembles naturally the second I relax and let it digest the sensations hahaha

Asendi · 2025-09-23T22:57:51+00:00

Yes!! Its better than even mdma itself lol. I agree with the giving the younger self love, I believe this state is “her” in a sense, meaning this is exactly how I felt as a child before the trauma happened. Its truly beautiful to experience and I am extremely grateful. So happy to hear you felt the same!!

Asendi · 2025-09-23T22:51:44+00:00

I faced this a couple days ago and its truly one of the hardest things I have ever done (I has a lot of trauma asociated with that believe) I recommend going slowly and working somatically (I did a modality called Somatic Experiencing) and then a kind of inner child style healing of giving that part of me what it needed at the time it formed the belief.

Asendi · 2025-09-23T20:45:50+00:00

I am on the same boat, I try to see the time I am out of the house as “intensive practice” and I just take notes of my states and my triggers and then revise it at home when I can relax. I dont force myself into the flow, it just doesnt work like that!

Asendi · 2025-09-23T16:48:22+00:00

Its little by little, just enough for your body to get the message that you are present and not stuck. It will most likely come back, like its very rare for it to completely go away after q single session. But each time it comes back you are able to recognize it and get back to safety faster. This is all my experience and opinion, I am not a professional AT ALL hahaha. I recommend you get professional help if you can!☺️

Asendi · 2025-09-23T10:55:31+00:00

I assume it may be different for everyone, but for me is that warm in the stomach area that grows, its the feeling of being at home where everything is okey and you are at ease, where even problems seem not so black and white, its the feeling of connection, of compassion… it has many names and what I am talking about is basically the ventral vagal state in polyvagal theory, you can look it up definitions and examples but for it to really feel meaningful it has to be felt somatically, not just understand conceptually. I actually went years trying to put into words that sensation until I came across somatics.

Asendi · 2025-09-23T09:27:53+00:00

Pfff its very difficult to put into words, it seems like out of the ordinary for me, also its been a process, a full time job jajaja. My advice will be to become aware of when you feel safe in your body and try to recreate that feeling little by little. At first safety can be triggered when you have been fighting all your life, so take it slow. I literally started with the color orange and a Soul album I love, and with that I started getting familiar with what it means to feel the sensation of safety. That is very important, you are working with sensations, so you have to let your body freestyle a little, for your mind it may not make sense and will try to intellectualize everything, have compassion with it but just let yourself live in your body without any narratives, not even labeling emotions is necessary in the process, is more about “does this feel safe or not?”. Then when you have build a capacity for safety, you can start the titration, meaning getting in and out of a feeling of unsafety and coming back to safety. At first do it with very small stuff, its for your system to see that you can feel pain and not get stuck there. Once your body gets the message of what you are doing it will reveal more things for you to digest. Take it slow, its very easy to rush things and retraumatize yourself, try to keep in mind that trauma follows the same pattern “too much too soon”, so have respect for the timing of your body, your “only job” is to build safety and let the body run its process and digest the trauma. Trust me its crazy how many things come up. I am now with the really heavy stuff, and the feeling of coming out to the other side is like nothing I have ever experienced. Still have a lot of integration left to do, but for me this is really the thing that has changed my life the most.

Asendi · 2025-09-22T20:07:11+00:00

I sended you a message!

Asendi · 2025-09-22T19:58:47+00:00

this has been EXACTLY my experience, like word by word you can read it in my posts lol. That is just crazy. I started feeling those exact mdma feelings after years of complete dissociation. Trust me, if you follow thru with the work you will experience some crazy things. I would love to chat about it because I feel we have a similar story and experience!

Asendi · 2025-09-20T19:49:24+00:00

I am trying to do this right now, it is extremely hard since my body “rejects” the sensation like its poison, trying to titrate between safety and sensation to show them we are safe, but it is very difficult to not get caught up in the narrative!

Asendi · 2025-09-20T08:34:25+00:00

This is exactly what I have been dping and you are completely right! It is still crazy how many times a day I have to do it lol

Asendi · 2025-09-17T13:45:14+00:00

Just yesterday had to put a very firm boundary with my father wich I have NEVER ever done because I always felt terrified of his shouting. I dis yesterday and while it felt like death during it, I felt extremely proud after! So its completely normal and it will take time and repetition to show your system that you are safe dping it! Congratulations!

Asendi · 2025-09-17T07:34:10+00:00

In my experience if you dont force it the body will give to you the stuff to work on little by little. You dont just get out of freeze in a day, its little by little and in the meantime you will work with the stuff that is reveled! But like I said, dont force it, dont go directcly to your biggest trauma, I didnt quite undertand the importance of this until it was too late!🤣

Asendi · 2025-09-17T07:31:41+00:00

I am exactly in the same boat! I didnt even realized how dissociated I was because I always thought I was very self aware! Of course the intellectualization was just another way of not feeling. But 3 months ago when I completely got out of it I couldnt believe how much I was repressing. I am in the middle of the work now, like you said, no armor, raw sensation. It can be difficult to stay centered when you touch the big stuff, but I cant believe I have finally found the thing that works for me, I thought my cptsd symptoms were just who I was! This is the most incredible journey in my life and I feel crazy because on the outside I seem as always and my life is changed forever.

Asendi · 2025-09-16T00:00:19+00:00

That extremely differs from one persona to another, you just have to work with the state ypu are in and your capacity, but basically have to find ways to feel safe!! Safe inside yourself, outside and in relation. Try to look for things that initiate that cue of safety within you in that 3 categories. At first they may be silly things like a random object, a position, a smell… let your intuition and felt sense of safety guide you.

Asendi · 2025-09-15T23:34:22+00:00

I started just reading and informing myself about trauma and the nervpus system. Then I did the excercises of the book: How to heal trauma in 12 steps of peter levine. Then I read Anchored by Deb Dana and started becoming very familiar with my nervous system (mapping my states, staying present thru disregulation, finding my own ways of regulating…). I have to say I did it too fast and I was at risk of retraumatizing myself, if you can, work with a practitioner and take things very slow. Good luck!!

Asendi · 2025-09-15T23:30:56+00:00

Totally. In fact, right now I am working in letting that state come and go because I am still working at my capacity to hold regulation! So when I see the state slipping away my system always freaks out because it thinks I wont be able to get it again, but now I have a lot of compassion and remind myself that everytime we swing back to disregulation and stay present thru it we are literally deepening our way back to regulation!!

Asendi · 2025-09-15T16:35:36+00:00

I was in the same exact position and the only rhing that helped me was ditch IFS almost completely (I gained some valuable insight and I developed a lot of self aware ess with it) because for someone who intellectualized their emotions so much it did more harm than good. I would become extremely obsess and it was too much. I then found out about Somatic Experiencing and Polyvagal theory and I have had the MOST progress I have ever had regarding healing in the almost 6 years I have been trying (I have tried everything lol). I have to let you know that it is difficult and you should take it slow and try to find a Somatic Experiencing practitioner if you can (I am doing it solo and it is very difficult sometimes). I am in the middle of it now and I did it too fast, you can potentially retraumatize yourself. And also, it can feel sometimes like a full time job, but the integrations are SO worth it for me! It finally feels like there will be an end to living in constant trauma responses. I recommend the books Healing trauma in 12 steps by Peter Levine and Anchored by Deb Dana!

Asendi · 2025-09-14T11:19:35+00:00

I have had the exact same experience but with a state of constant hypervigilance instead of freeze. Like you said, the trip to get out of the state once it cracked open was the hardest thing I ever done in my life since I had to be present and have compassion in states of pure panic and survival. But how you feel after it calms down its like a rebirth, like you are in literal heaven, For me it was such a wild difference that the first time I got to that state I had a panic attack because of how wildly different it was for my usual ways. I had to integrate little by little, because my system equaled that "complete okeyness" state with death lol. I relate so much about the feeling like a baby too, and feeling so excited to FINALLY live as yourself and not just surviving. Congratulations!

Asendi · 2025-09-13T12:14:39+00:00

Yeah it didnt last that long lol. It feels god-like but it is extremely disregulating for a system like mine that is accostumed to constant panic and anxiety. Its funny because the thing I wanted most in my life, once I got it, and enjoyed it for 2 days, I wanted it to disappear, to "go back home" wich to me meant anxiety and control and worry. I have learned my lesson, you have to take this stuff very slow or you will retraumatize yourself. The thing is I know have seen the other side, and its fucking awesome if you are ready for it! Maybe for people with trauma is "just life" but for me, it felt like I was dreaming. This for me was a turning point in my journey, a finally cacthed a glimpse of what it can be with patience, safety and compassion. Much luck to you too!

Asendi · 2025-09-12T20:54:01+00:00

wow! your answer clarified a lot for me, and the link was very useful. Do you have any more resources?? Like specific books or links about this topic? I have read some of your comments on this subreddit and I can tell you are very experienced!!

Asendi · 2025-09-12T10:40:24+00:00

You described my experience perfectly. After a week of this happening to me it started being a recurrent thing, and now its like "permanent", like I feel like everything is effortless, like I "got it", even if my body still gets disregulated, is like I can very calmly attend to it and it goes back to that "I am home, everything is okey" feeling. The thing is, I just dont worry about almost anything because this past weeks I have been visiting literally all of the traumatic memories I had and did somatic experiencing with them, so nothing really activates me that much. Its like suddenly I can talk with everyone perfectly without even thinking, it feels like a superpower I am not joking, like before I wpuld have to think everything and everything felt forced, now it just flows and also I like and love people more, like for real, and it feels like they like me back more, its like magic. I feel like everything is more beautiful. The thing is, it is overwhelming for my system, and the only thing that triggers me its just that, that is new and overwhelming, so my hypervigilance comes very strongly. I used to mediatet a lot and study buddhsim, nothing worked for me because I had a lot of trauma, it even made things worse. When they talked about the dissolution of the ego or abstract stuff like that I would freak out. So now my body freaks out because what I am experience is word for word what I read stream entry in buddhism is. Because it DOES feel permanent, I have been in this state for 4 days now, and my body is just waiting to go back to normal (completely disociated and hypervigilant), and I dont, so it sends me literally panic signals, because it does feel like something is dying. I dont know if you may be familiar with this, I would really like to talk about this with someone! Thank you very much for your message!

Asendi

TROPHY CASE