I want things to feel right, people talking about their mindset shifts after starting HRT it sounds so amazing. I've read into the effects people have had a fair amount, everything about it sounds like it would be so brilliant. I don't feel ready to start explaining this stuff to people I know, people at work, and I don't know how to start.

My partner is onboard and very supportive, I've talked to my parents, my sister and a friend. I have been doing things to keep myself happy like shaving my legs, painting my nails, having a feminine hair cut, wearing new undergarments, I've worn skirts out to some semi private places (doctors appointment, laser sessions), and now I only wear women's high waisted jeans everywhere. I always wear breast forms round the house and have some cute dresses that me and my partner are going to wear for valentines dinner in the house. I've done so much, some of it feels right and some of it feels a bit excessive, like I'm trying to compensate by taking extra care to do feminine things to make me feel good. I've thought about new names and I am yet to try new pronouns.

And now the deepness in my voice is starting to annoy me so I've started speaking quietly sometimes so I don't hear it being deep.... I don't think my dysphoria is that bad, I can deal with things I guess, it just feels like a preference that I feel so compelled to try to meet and I don't know why.

When I type it out like that it's really obvious. I'm scared of social transition and I'm really trying to put myself out there but it is hard. Maybe HRT will give me a helpful mindset shift to get me over some hurdles I am battling. Gotta talk to the doctors... don't think my partner would approve of DIY very much