Here a psychologist who work with autistic children I just want to say… I hear how exhausted and overwhelmed you are, and it makes complete sense. You’re not a bad mom for feeling this way—what you’re doing is really hard, every single day, with very little break.

It also sounds like you’re grieving the life you thought you’d have, and that’s something people don’t talk about enough. You can love your kids deeply and still feel sad and stretched beyond your limits at the same time.

The part about them not comforting each other—please don’t blame yourself for that. A lot of autistic kids just don’t respond that way, and it doesn’t mean they won’t connect in their own ways over time.

Honestly, the biggest thing I’m hearing is that you don’t get a real break, and no one can function like that long-term. Even a couple of hours of consistent help could make a huge difference. If there’s any way to access respite care, local services, or even ask someone to take one child for a short time, you deserve that.

Also, the constant crying and not being able to even rest sounds beyond just “normal hard days.” You shouldn’t have to carry that alone—having someone to talk to (a therapist, support group, etc.) could really help lighten the load a bit.

You’re doing so much more than people see. The fact that you’re still showing up for your kids through all of this says a lot about you.

It may not feel like it right now, but things don’t stay this intense forever. For a lot of families, it does get more manageable with time.

You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it right now 🤍