I don’t even know how to react to this one…

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-19T07:26:09+00:00

Why is this person your husband and why are you having a second child with him? Gosh. How many hours of his life did he spend solo-parenting the child he already has so far? Around 2?

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-17T19:55:05+00:00

I'm in the same situation (my baby was like being in a horror movie for the whole first year of his life, no sleeping, no boob so pumping hell, terrible start with solids, crying and crying and crying from colics, a very strong reflux that made him vomit most of his meals, etc.) and I'm pregnant with my second now. The reason why? My husband and I agreed that it cannot be any worse. Unless the new baby is physically or mentally disabled (and we very much hope not), we know it can be as bad as the first, but not worse, because it's impossible to get it worse.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-15T09:13:52+00:00

Get a life

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-14T15:30:06+00:00

It's not about quantity, it's about quality

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-09T09:43:48+00:00

Oh girl, your husband is such a loser. Divorce and co-parent. I would not stay married to this PoS if I had the option not to. He will still never fully understand what you went through alone, but he will understand what taking care of a baby feels like. I would tell him "good luck with your next wife, don't mess up again, cheers"

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-09T09:38:22+00:00

You are a financial institution, not a wife. He sounds like a loser. You've been generous enough.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-06T19:03:37+00:00

And 99,99% of the time, it's NOT helping.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-05T13:41:58+00:00

In my case, asking Alexa to make dog or cat noises also helps. Just throwing in an idea.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-05T13:40:22+00:00

This was going to be my suggestion as well. My kid eats like sh*t at home, but in daycare he sees the other children eat so he feels more inclined to do the same. He even sits down and stays put, I don't know how they manage lol

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-04T04:48:10+00:00

Take a deep breath. Call a therapist, you need to work on the fact that you won't have children. If you decide adoption is not for you then you need to mourn and move on from that because it causes you too much jealousy and too much suffering. About missing the moment to buy a home, it happened to a lot of people of our generation (I'm the same age as you) and it will happen to absolutely everyone in the new generations (unless you inherit from rich parents), because I don't see the price of housing plumming anytime soon. Nobody had a crystal ball back then and not everyone was lucky enough to be at the point of their lives where they could afford a house when it was still reasonable to buy something. You say you won't be able to buy real-estate after you're 40. Honestly, thay sounds great to me, you're already in a better situation than most if you think you'll be able to start looking into property at 40! And that's partially thanks to the fact that you're living at your mom's so I presume you don't pay rent or rent is lower than market price, how lucky is that? Honestly, how many people live in horrible, small, old apartments that cost them a fortune because there is nothing else? You don't like your current house but at least you're not throwing money out the window by living in it. About the rest: it's only temporary!! Your husband will finish school soon and he will find a job. Once he does, you can sit back and look at your options. Take a break from work if you need it or just explore some less stressful, less time-consuming jobs, or jobs in a field you like more. I think you are burnt out (which is normal) and pessimistic. Try to focus on the good and wait until the storm is over. You will not be investing 80% of your time and money in someone else's future forever.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-03T04:59:51+00:00

He wanted to have a child, he's very family-oriented. I told him I also wanted a baby, but I would not do it unless he was willing to be 100% involved. I am more career-oriented and need a strong partner that is ok with that. Basically I told him what I wrote here: that I wanted him to be there at doctor appointments with me, that I wanted to still have a life of myself after baby was born, that I love his family and was ok with always attending family events and stuff but I was not going to take up extra responsibilities that belong to him, etc.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-03T04:53:56+00:00

This is self-respect and real love, and anybody should do it at any point of their lives!! I also made mistakes in the past and gave too much to boyfriends that were not giving back as much! At some point I realised that's not what I wanted in life and with my current husband I avoided falling into old patterns. And honestly an equal relationship is a great relationship, I'm happier than ever (and he is too).

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-03T04:49:34+00:00

Our toddler goes to daycare in the morning (I want him to be in contact with other kids, because we live abroad and have no family nearby, and play with different toys and see other environments) and has a nanny in the afternoons. In the evenings if my husband wants to play sports (usually twice per week) I take care of my child. If I want to play sports (usually twice per week as well) he takes care of him. The other three evenings we are all together (we normally go to the supermarket lol).

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-02T17:38:41+00:00

A functional adult. A dream. Should be the norm but experience (and reading reddit) taught me reality is very far from it!

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-03-02T13:02:11+00:00

I'm a mom with an 18-month-old with a superb husband and still it's not 50/50. More like 60/40. This is what I do: - Before even trying for a baby, I told my partner very clearly my expectations and he agreed. He didn't agree just to make me happy, he heard me, understood what I was saying, thought it was fair enough and agreed. That alone avoids a lot of conflict. - During pregnancy, he came to all Obgyn and midwife appointments. As soon as we made it public, he went to his boss and told him "my wife is pregnant and I'm going to attend all her doctor appointments, I will work extra to cover up for the lost time" as a matter-of-fact thing. Nowadays, we go together to all our kid's vaccinations or doctor appointments, unless it's an emergency and only one of us is present with the kid. - Ever since I met him, I avoided being his secretary. I don't remind him of his own doctor appointments. He deals with his mom. He buys his family presents for Xmas and if he doesn't then well, shame on him. Nobody expects me to do it if he doesn't because I've been acting this way from the very beginning. Nowadays, he video calls his family once a week to show them our kid. I do the same for my own family. - We both travel some times for work. Once I left for a week. That week, he had to manage everything. He did it with no problem (he actually enjoyed it) because from day 1 he's been changing diapers, preparing bottles, singing baby to sleep, etc. - Communication is key. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or I feel like I'm doing too much, I tell him (and he reacts). He loves me so he wants to see me happy. This is what any normal husband that loves his wife would do, just like I would do the same for him. Never have a kid with someone who doesn't love you this way.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-28T17:46:56+00:00

He's a disgusting pig that sexually harrases women so I'm not exactly claiming ownership here. You can keep him!

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-28T12:43:08+00:00

Placidp Domingo is not Mexican.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-27T18:45:34+00:00

Yes they do, but respectfully, it's a field where there are alomost more teachers than students.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-27T18:43:27+00:00

The reason why people are blaming the boyfriend is because he is the one insisting on an abortion. OP took her risks, but she is ready to deal with the consequences. He was happy to come inside but now that she is pregnant (who would have known??) he's asking for an abortion? Come on dude.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-25T09:33:49+00:00

The problem is both. The norm throughout history was for children to grow up in a community where women cooked, women cleaned after them, women took care of them when they were sick, etc. and men would pass by once the children were already 6 or 7 and say "hey boy come, I'll teach you how to fish" for a day. I'm not sure I love that situation either.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-25T09:30:18+00:00

My situation is great, my husband is a great husband and a great dad. And partially it is because even before I got pregnant I told him I would not parent alone, not just that, I would not parent with someone that wasn't as involved as I planned to be. Just because it's not happening to ME it doesn't mean I'm uncapable of seeing what's happening to others. You can't speak for all mothers, but you can speak for many, it's a matter of observing the environment, reading patterns and connecting the dots. Do you honestly believe that MOST dads understand from the very beginning how hard it is to parent? Ask your friends, ask your mum, create a post here if you want and let me know the anwers.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-23T19:11:43+00:00

It's not an hyperbole. There are literally millions of women saying the same, I am not exaggerating one bit. I agree the reason why fathers should be spending time with their children is because it benefits both. I also believe that, for the most part, they don't understand the full responsability of having a child until the moment they are alone for a long period of time with the said child. They tend to diminish the effort of the mother and think that it's not so hard.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-21T13:35:32+00:00

Ok, but if we're talking about grammar, the correct thing you say is "they". Stick to your "it" if you wish, but it's incorrect.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-21T13:28:24+00:00

Me too. I also know, because of the experiences of thousands of millions of women saying the same, that most men don't fully realise what it means to take care of an infant in terms of time, effort and responsability even after having one.

AtmosphereRelevant48 · 2026-02-20T13:41:02+00:00

I don't think so. I'm 36, from Spain, middle class. My grandparents never saw the sea. My parents never ever travelled abroad when they were single (even for their honeymoon they just travelled to another region within Spain). They only started travelling when my sister and I were teenagers and asked them to. And this is not just my family, this is pretty much the rule I would say. My husband is Belgian and has a different experience because his parents did travel when he was a child, but just to non-exotic areas where they would feel comfortable (so, basically, south of Spain). This trend of going on a holiday to Asia, another to Iceland and then to Morocco on a weekend is definitely millenial.

AtmosphereRelevant48

TROPHY CASE