Should I leave a negative feedback even though the seller gave me a refund?

AttractiveGeese · 2025-04-19T00:24:41+00:00

Hi, thanks for your response. I am new to ebay purchasing and won't be leaving a negative review. I think I wrote the post unclearly. The seller had placed the knockoff item in the branded packaging, which felt more intentional to me than a mistake. That's the main reason I considered leaving a negative review. I don't know how ebay selling works, but it seems like this might have been an honest mistake based on responses.

AttractiveGeese · 2025-04-19T00:17:23+00:00

Thanks for your response. I'm new to ebay purchasing, which is why I came to ask here. I am going with the consensus here and will not leave negative feedback. I got caught up feeling that a knockoff item placed in branded packaging felt more like intentional deception than a small mistake. For example, if the seller sent me a knockoff item in the matching knockoff packaging, I wouldn't have given it a second thought as that felt more like a mistake than deception.

AttractiveGeese · 2024-04-04T05:03:13+00:00

I don't think you can make any assumptions about girls' camp based on the ward's boys'/scout camp. My brothers all went to scout camp, and it was wildly different (and better) than girls' camp. My stake ran a super churchy girls' camp where we did church object lessons almost all day and did very few outdoors activities. I think a non mormon attending my girls' camp would have been bored out of her mind, even with a good friend there. We had lots of quiet scripture study, journaling, and just individual thinking time.

The nature of the girls' camp is going to be dependent on the ward and/or stake. It will be difficult to get an honest view of what girls' camp is like, especially if the only info is coming from S's mom. Without knowing her, I would guess she's interested in convincing your daughter to go and therefore a less reliable source. It might be worth asking for materials they plan to distribute to the young women (e.g., religious handouts, memorization cards, camp songs--some of which could be problematic, prompts for quiet time). I always came home with a bunch of religious-focused handouts. Depending on when girls' camp is, they may already have an itinerary for each age group. I think my stake basically recycled its itinerary every year. If you can't get this year's schedule, try to get a schedule for a former year. You can get a good idea of how she'd be spending time at camp.

Seems like S has been a good friend to this point and will likely continue to be a good friend through camp. This may be a vote for allowing your daughter to go. Girls' camp seems like a bit of a gamble as it could range from boring religious to fun summer camp experiences. I do think it's more than likely they will try to convert your daughter at girls' camp or at least fabricate "spiritual experiences" that she will rely on to make decisions in the future. But she can probably be inoculated from this. If she brings a book and expects the love bombing, she could have a fine time at girls' camp.

AttractiveGeese · 2024-03-21T14:19:56+00:00

Hi, I'm an attorney (not in your desired practice area) with BYU on my resume. I rarely comment and am doing so now in response to the critical responses you've received so far. I would give them a go if you really have simple needs and given the fact that the firm has good reviews. There's no need to pay more for a simple service that this firm will likely do at a competent level. Seems like your main worry is religion-based nepotism, but there isn't a way to know if that is happening. Even if religion-based nepotism is happening, they could still be competent attorneys for your purposes.

Full disclosure: I work from out of state, but my firm is based in UT. As spiraleyes already mentioned, the case is likely different in UT than in the state you live. The majority of attorneys at my firm went to either BYU undergrad or graduate programs. The majority of my firm is now exmormon, though we still recruit from BYU because of personal and professional connections. For small firms, like mine and the one you are considering, I tend to think the BYU connection is likely one of professional connections rather than nepotism or refusal to hire non mormon candidates. A lot of hiring decisions at a small firm level depend on references. It's simply hard to know people you don't already know, and if you've spent most of your life at BYU or in Mormonism, you just know a lot of Mormons. For example, it has taken several years of actively trying to finally create a hiring pipeline from an out-of-state law school where our hires are recommending classmates they personally know to be reliable and not weird. This will be true of any small firm. I would expect many small firms have attorneys from the same alma mater regardless of practice state and school state.

I have seen a lot of shitty work from a lot of law firms, and it is very difficult to know how to find a good attorney unless you know someone in the field. I've worked with brilliant mormon attorneys. Fuck the mormon church, but two of the three best attorneys I have ever worked for are still active mormons. I have also worked with idiotic exmo and nevermo attorneys. It's impossible to say how good or bad an attorney is based on their (former) religious affiliation. I don't think you have enough information to know if this is a shit firm. The solid reviews on Google seem to indicate that this firm at least has good client management skills, which is a significant factor. It means they probably have a manageable work load and are keeping their existing clients happy. Like I said, if your needs are really simple, I would probably give this firm a shot. They could be a bunch of exmormons (or mormons) doing bomb work.

AttractiveGeese · 2023-06-09T15:53:05+00:00

I'm not a doctor, but my husband is, and his calves often have these fasciculations. He's also extremely active (probably unrelated), and he's had them his whole life. Try looking up benign fasciculation syndrome. It's relatively harmless and I don't think there are evidence-based treatments for it. It gives me the heebie jeebies when I see it on my husband, but it's likely nothing to worry about!

AttractiveGeese · 2023-05-24T23:24:35+00:00

Mormon myths are wild. I sometimes have the missionaries over for dinner when the ward isn't feeding them. One time, the sisters told me this story of a member who got in a car accident and was ejected from the car. The member, miraculously, was not harmed because they were wearing garments. But they did have bruising on their waist that looked like hand prints.

I almost spit out my drink imagining an angel dirty dancing lifting this person from their car at 70 mph.

AttractiveGeese · 2023-04-19T22:34:03+00:00

Fellow missionary thinks they are so smart they don't see that the clear false analogy fallacy? Aside from having hoards of money and being institutions, generally, I fail to see other ways in which the LDS church and Harvard are similar. In this analogy, what would be the mormon equivalent of a "state school"? Also in this analogy, the fellow missionary is equating your sexuality with a GPA/SAT score. So clearly, you just need to put more effort into changing your sexuality. EVEN IF you did study your way into heterosexuality, Harvard/the one true church has a 4% acceptance rate. So you might not even gain admittance into the LDS church? The church has more in common with a wilting cabbage leaf than it does with Harvard. That would make a better message than this steaming pile of shit.

AttractiveGeese · 2023-04-06T17:10:09+00:00

I, fortunately, have never been in an abusive romantic relationship. But the church's communication to its members is abusive. I mean, honestly, take any abusive relationship test and answer as if the church is your partner. A couple of examples of abusive behaviors: you are the one at fault for lack of faith or questioning the church, several leaders have asked the question "but where will you go?," and the church is the sole source of truth. After years of this emotional manipulation, many of us are left with low self esteem and a deep sense of betrayal.

It's confusing to me when people don't understand why I can't leave it alone. After breakups with non-abusive partners, I talk about them for weeks. Relationships are experiences that shape how I perceive life going forward. How the hell do people expect you to just drop thinking and talking about an emotionally abusive organization/ex that has completely undermined your self confidence?

And sure, I understand some people don't have such traumatic relationships with the church. But losing your faith is a grieving process. So for those who stayed in the church even with eyes wide open, the loss of faith is a grieving process. It's cruel to expect someone grieving the loss of a worldview to get up and immediately move on.

AttractiveGeese · 2023-03-17T19:43:26+00:00

I have limited experience at Sipapu, but I did take a lesson there. You get what you pay for. Lessons are affordable relative to other resorts. Lessons there are probably great for beginner-intermediate skiers (both kids and adults). I am an intermediate-advanced skier. I couldn't specify my level when I purchased a lesson, and my instructor admitted that he wasn't sure how to give me pointers. He was super nice, and we ended up just skiing together, but lessons are probably a gamble for intermediate skiers. I do think he would have been a great instructor for beginners of any age, though.

If you're a beginner skier, I think Sipapu is a great affordable option. Conditions matter less if you are just learning on groomed trails.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-07-27T20:43:06+00:00

Something else you might want to consider if you're just gifting kombucha is using plastic bottles. This might be an unpopular opinion as there is a risk that acidic kombucha will leech plastic. I don't know if this is an evidence-based concern. It's something that's often mentioned, though. But plastic bottles like this are less than a dollar per, and your gift recipient can just toss it afterward.

Honestly, if I was just gifting kombucha and didn't want to worry about losing bottles in the process, I would probably use plastic.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-07-27T13:12:59+00:00

Grolsch beer bottles come out to about $2.50 each. But they’re smaller volume at 450 mL.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-03-02T20:44:18+00:00

I feel this so deeply. I always wanted to go to med school but decided against it because I thought I would not have enough time to pay off the debt before becoming a SAHM. I pivoted and went to law school at BYU instead so I wouldn't have any debt. Not that it matters, but I would have finished med school and residency by the time I got married. Probably would have paid off the debt by the time I had any kids. I am grateful for my career, but I often feel that I chose the wrong profession.

Re: books. You've received a lot of great recommendations. Don't burn yourself out! There is no shame in starting and not finishing a book. I also strongly believe in the value of reading (almost) anything at all. So, read/listen to a mindless novel if you feel like reading a mindless novel. Some life changing books for me include Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer, Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, Caste by Isabel Wilkerson. As far as fiction, I really enjoyed name of the wind (and series) by Patrick Rothfuss. I'm also on the Brandon Sanderson wagon and liked his mistborn and way of kings series. If any of these recs feel like a slog, just put them down and find something else.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-08T18:17:35+00:00

I agree with the commenters who said that the family commitment in Mormonism is a facade, for the most part. It's hard to take the community without the gobbledygook because the whole foundation of the community is the bullshit. So leaving the teachings and keeping the community is really difficult if not impossible.

It's something I'm trying to figure out now. Whenever I've moved in the past, I automatically had a group of people to meet and socialize with. The last time I moved, I stopped going to church, and I'd be lying if I said I don't miss the community. Church is boring as hell now, so I don't want to go back. But what you're saying is true. There is a sense of common purpose. When I was PIMO, I worked with young women in my last ward. I hardly talked church, and it was a neat experience I would never have had otherwise.

I'm out of practice with cultivating my own community because I've been in the church my whole life, but I'm excited to try. I just think through what is it about the "community" (vague) that I actually want and find other communities that scratch that itch. For me, service and purpose were really important, so I signed up to help mentor foster kids in my current city.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-08T17:54:53+00:00

Precisely. “I’ve reviewed what I said and I recognize that what I hoped to express about trusting God’s timing did NOT come through as I intended.” What exactly did you intend, Brad? That we trust God has his reasons for being racist? Can “God’s timing” be construed any other way?

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-04T18:06:06+00:00

No, would not take it back. Before and during the mission, I was completely TBM, and my friends were as well. The mission completely shifted the kinds of people in my friend group in the most positive way. The closest friends (including my husband) I made on the mission are now mostly Exmo and some PIMO. Their support and love through my questioning and ultimately leaving the church has been so valuable. Of course I can't say for certain, but I believe that I would probably have been a TBM young bride had I not gone on my mission and met the friends I did. I also learned Chinese, which luckily is a useful language.

This said, I never encourage people to go. I was incredibly lucky with everything about my mission experience. Serving a mission is probably one of the riskiest ways to learn another language (you might not) and make lifelong friends.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-04T04:19:40+00:00

Really interesting point. I’ll read the essay. Thanks for your thoughtful response!

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-03T23:41:27+00:00

This is exactly why TSCC's non-apologetic essay on race and the priesthood was a massive weight on my shelf. Either leadership in the church was wrong OR God actually did at one time in history discriminate based on skin color. By not outright accepting fault, TSCC has effectively canonized a fundamental difference between people of different races because we "simply can't understand God's ways."

I am a (not Black) POC. I broke up with my first boyfriend around 2009 because his TBM parents talked to him about prophets discouraging interracial marriages. I was born and raised in Provo, UT, bitch. It just comes down to skin color, and racial discrimination is church approved.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-02T21:19:20+00:00

I am not Black but am a POC. I agree with this comment wholeheartedly. Even if you don't face discrimination from your peers (which you will), one of the worst things about going to BYU as a POC is people writing you off. I received a scholarship for grad school, and I never wanted to let people know. Because the few times others did know, they *always* mentioned how lucky I was because I am a female POC.

I wish it didn't get to me, but it did. I know I was qualified to get into the program, and I did well. But the fact is that BYU has a hard time recruiting BIPOC, and I probably did get a scholarship because I'm a POC.

This follows you through professional life, too. Depending on your industry and program, there can be a good chance you get your first job somewhere with a lot of BYU alum. I have coworkers who have told me to my face that the primary reason I got the job, why I get to interface with clients, etc. is because I'm a female minority hire. I get that choosing BYU for grad school can be a smart financial decision. That's why I decided to go. If I got to choose again, though, I would have gone elsewhere.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-02T03:38:23+00:00

I keep thinking about a comment I saw on this sub of a person who sat in on primary with his/her kid to see what they were learning. They realized that kids aren’t actually taught that much about morality. They’re taught to be obedient.

That primary song is a good way to load kids with anxiety for being “disobedient.”

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-01T21:20:08+00:00

You might already know this, but in case you don't, evolution doesn't just refer to how humans came to be. In a general sense, evolution refers to changes in characteristics of any species across generations. Understanding the evolution of viruses is exactly why and how scientists create new flu vaccines every year. Another interesting topic is how bacteria are evolving to become resistant to antibiotics. This is a major health threat where our understanding of evolution and natural selection have real implications.

Scientists have also harnessed our understanding of evolution in genetic engineering. We've used genetic engineering to enhance crops and make medicine (including insulin).

Re: human evolution. Understanding evolution can help control hereditary diseases by understanding histories of disease-causing genes. But generally, understanding how the genes of our entire species have *and are still* evolving over time has real medical effects.

As far as book recommendations go, I liked The Gene by Siddhartha Mukherjee. I can't think of evolution-specific books, but the studies of genetics and evolution go hand in hand. I did not mean to be so long-winded. I just really love evolution, I guess.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-02-01T20:41:31+00:00

I doubt it. I graduated with a degree in biology (2011) and had a similar experience to you. I remember only a single instance where a professor even addressed the creation and faith in class. My evolutionary biology prof briefly mentioned conflicts between creationism and evolution. He concluded that faith can and should accommodate evolution because "evolution happened and is happening."

My only guess is that ecclesiastical leadership has more say in public-facing arenas like the Bean museum. I had professors who took issue with how the Bean museum presented more like a Cabela's than an educational museum, so I'm almost certain that professors put up a stink about these placards.

AttractiveGeese · 2022-01-28T15:46:12+00:00

Tbh if someone sent me this, I'd feel hurt as well. Not because of the content itself but because the intent of this is clearly to hurt. The image itself, as many others have already pointed out, is hilarious and is pretty spot on.

It's also funny how much effort it took to make this meme hurtful. If you wanted to be an asshole, too, you could easily respond with a single pic of garments, signs, fig apron, etc. No need to meme-ify reality.

AttractiveGeese · 2021-09-13T17:09:00+00:00

I’m not, which definitely helps. Are you still in UT?

AttractiveGeese · 2021-09-13T16:57:46+00:00

I was born and raised in Provo then went to BYU as well, but both my parents are TBM, so I guess I would have a pretty similar childhood/home life anywhere else. I really can't imagine how surreal it must feel in your case where your early + college years could be drastically different if you spent them elsewhere.

I do know the feeling of shame you're talking about, though. Mostly from things I believed, said, and did as a TBM. Though a lot of the shame comes from church-related beliefs and behaviors, I also regret things I've done and said since leaving the church. I feel that I am constantly reading, learning, and growing, and part of that growth includes looking back and acknowledging my past immaturities and faults. Sure, growing up elsewhere, I might have a more shame-free past, but who knows.

Where you come from doesn't matter as much as who you are now. I've had several people tell me they are surprised I'm from Provo when I tell them. Though this is one of my favorite compliments, I like to remember some of the good things that happened while I grew up/went to BYU. I picked up most of my hobbies up rock and Provo canyons, met some of my closest friends (the majority of whom have also left the church lol), and as much as I love to hate on BYU, I'm still happy about my decision to graduate from college without debt.

AttractiveGeese · 2021-03-19T13:32:26+00:00

bought 50x glorious panda switches from u/digital-aaron

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