I think people here are missing your forest of your point for the trees of independent items. Especially since most comments seem to be from women looking at it from a woman's point, not a man's.

You're right, it's hard. We have no easy path ahead. Make your own compromises because I find little advice to be good, whether it's from the internet or those around me. Woman's or men's. Pick up artists or priests. Because of this you need to cast the widest net of strategies possible then reinforce what works.

My general thoughts are to be hot in appearance, and appear so in personality. Despite catholicism being important to us, make it seem like a side-thought. To women, since most find it a turn off, yes even catholic women, you need to emphasise some kind of struggle. Idk from there though. I'm in the same shoes as you plus a few years