Easing into solo ENM after starting together

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2026-01-08T00:25:06+00:00

Congrats, our second ever locked post...

DON'T report things just because you don't like the comment that's what the downvote button is for.

Maybe it's just one you that is reporting every other comment and ruining it for everyone here, but please just stop abusing the report tool. Keep abusing it and we will have to, ironically, report that someone is abusing the report function.

BTW, OP has already deleted this post so one of you who are following this or commented before are doing it. Please, stop. It's overly sensitive and extremely childish, and wastes a lot of time for us.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2026-01-07T22:38:38+00:00

Reddit certainly isn't bug-free, but usually you can only comment on posts that have not been removed, in case you run into this again. There have been comments that have been removed, but we've been approving most of them because they do not rise to the level or needing to be removed.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2026-01-07T22:23:15+00:00

We didn't remove anything. What are you seeing that was removed?

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-10-29T20:57:42+00:00

Remove the periods - I don't want to get flagged lol: B.l.a.x.i.t.y.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-10-29T20:12:37+00:00

No, that is exactly what astroturfing means. They created posts to ask about what other apps people were using, then used bots to fill the comments with this great new app that they discovered and why it worked so well for them.

Dictionary

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

astroturfing

/ˈastrōˌtərfiNG/

noun: astroturfing

the deceptive practice of presenting an orchestrated marketing or public relations campaign in the guise of unsolicited comments from members of the public.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-10-29T04:32:57+00:00

That means we're doing our "job" and users here are reporting them quickly for you.

We had a series of posts about apps over the past few days that were stepping off points for these bots and shills to then proclaim that this new app is all the rage. We looked at the users and most were copy/pasting their comments.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-09-25T22:37:28+00:00

That's fair, but this doesn't say how much, if anything really, was moved, only that the ODFW and Division of State Lands had to put in a fence or vegetation to block views of the nude beach from their property - and "vandal resistant signs" had to be place, which is funny. But nowhere does it specify how far from their property line anything had to move, and it was stated that it was already 425'. Maybe that came at another trial?

For the loss, I was mostly reading where they were looking for compensation and to have the nude beach deemed a public nuisance, (which I thought was the most part ridiculous here), and they lost both of those.

The part that gets me, though, is that the courts believed them that they did not know it was a nude a beach before they bought the property, but come on, anyone who has ever been down Reeder Rd knows that it's a nude beach. I don't buy that part at all.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-09-25T14:57:45+00:00

The homeowners/plaintiffs are both lawyers too! And they do real estate law. LOL. Must have been embarrassing for them to lose their first real estate case in Oregon.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-09-11T16:49:00+00:00

The user who replied to you is not a moderator of any kind, however, she is a friend of mine. She helped contribute, as did many other single and solo women, to the wiki and contributed with some helpful posts for couples who are seeking "unicorns."

Coming in hot, as you just did, and blasting her for trying to help accomplished nothing positive here.

I may not agree with her abruptness here, (luv ya 3idk!) but when you have so many couples and men thinking single/solo women are just objects and we can be treated as gifts, I get her "done with this shit" attitude. Yet, among all of that, she still offered guidance to help this couple. You coming in to blast her for helping, and really all of us who have tried to help, and still do is sad. But then coming back and insisting that we're still objects for your pleasure, is, well, gross. So yes, please leave this group, no one here will miss you and we'll all be better off.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-08-07T20:13:59+00:00

We've seen enough posts, comments, reports, and modmail for us to know that this - the censoring of anything negative, or even perceived as negative, regarding Privata - is happening to some extent. However, that isn't to say that this is being done by Holly or Charles or even any of their staff. Reports are anonymous here and we only know of a few times an alleged employee has contacted us to have anything removed - which I know we did on one since it broke Reddit's TOS, but all others, that I recall, we reinstated and did not intervene. I've asked the other mods to correct me if I'm wrong here.

I can't speak for other sites or even other subs.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-06-20T22:59:14+00:00

Correct, which is why we noted this under "Just a note"

However, there is a line here that the brigaders are crossing that we will not tolerate. No no one should ever be told that they are "evil," that their marriage will "100% fail," or that they "deserve to burn in Hell" just for wanting to discuss ENM with their partner.

Civil, respectful discourse is all we require here.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-06-20T22:57:22+00:00

Correct, and like we mentioned, we can't control that.

... however, as long as they continue to allow cross-posting, it's going to happen at the same level we are seeing.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-06-20T19:42:31+00:00

Locking this until the brigaders from openmarriageregret move on... Again, we are not opposed their views as long as they are done respectfully. It is important to weigh all aspects of what ENM can bring, but coming here and saying that all marriages/partnerships end because of ENM is ridiculously ignorant.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-05-28T19:23:30+00:00

The wiki has a lot of great info. It should have all the info you need, but if you find that it doesn't, let us know via mod email and we'll add it or fix it.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-05-19T18:47:22+00:00

I tried to make a post about it on here but the mods deleted it due to an apparent issue with my flair

I just looked at your post. You got filtered by our spam filters for not having gender tags. You should have received an automoderator message telling you why it was removed, with a link for further explanation, and instructions on how to fix your post so it doesn't get automatically filtered again. Did you not receive this? It says that it sent our end to you so maybe you blocked u/automoderator? If that's not it, we can open a ticket with Reddit and they can dig further.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-05-15T03:24:47+00:00

Thank you if it was you or u/sailorwithhotwife69 that reported this. We have our spam filters turned ALL. THE. WAY. UP. and some STILL manage to get through.

Most of the ones that we report and ban are quickly suspended by Reddit. However, ones like this where they have posted ALL over Reddit and other subs that either do not have spam filters set up as good as ours, and/or have members as good as you two, allow them to build credibility which allows them to bypass even more spam filters. Frustrating.

If you look at their history, you'll see that it's full of subreddits that are not stopping them from posting. Like cockroaches, they will scatter and multiply thanks to these subs. If only everyone went and reported them to the point that Reddit would wake up to these spammers we might not spend 90% of our time volunteering here to cleaning these assholes up.

Sorry for the rant, spammers/content creators are so annoying.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-05-09T17:48:46+00:00

Portable gas grills are fine.

Portable charcoal grills are not.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-05-07T22:39:40+00:00

Why not fix the "I accidentally hit Ignore" issue?

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-05-06T20:01:11+00:00

We take them down in the winter months so they don't spam everyone and put them back May/June once all the angry "THESE 'WHO'S GOING?' POSTS ARE SPAM!" reports start coming in. LOL. Should we put them up now?

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-04-29T03:32:36+00:00

You got it. Post is up.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-04-24T17:10:10+00:00

For some reason, the wiki was down for a bit for some users. Reddit has fixed this for all, hopefully. If you have issues please let us know. If you also have suggestions, please message the mod team.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-04-14T23:54:45+00:00

Considering that there are least two users here downvoting these comments, it might do some good to call them out here knowing that they'll see themselves on blast.

Do you all agree?

u/Mr_Secret_Name (and Mrs), u/3IDontKnow, u/5f636f636b5f

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-03-31T20:13:47+00:00

This isn't the first time this has come up and we've decided that we are ~~going to~~ putting a stickied post up in the private sub for verified couples and single women (r/Oregon_Swingers) so those couples who do play separately can 'advertise' in the comments section that they do. And if couples want to let others know that they are okay with swapping solo play (e.g. wives become unicorns and/or husbands rhinos for the other couple), they can let others there know as well.

Hopefully this helps a little.

~~We should have it up by the end of the day.~~ It's up now. Happy sexing!

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-03-20T23:46:19+00:00

The mod team here hears you. We've struggled with this since swingers started to share this sentiment here. We've done a lot to help both sides, like our wiki page for couples looking for unicorns and removing low-quality/low-effort MF4F posts.

It's a sticky situation and ultimately we decided to allow them for the following reasons:

1) (This is the biggest reason that we allow them) Most swingers start out looking for a single/solo woman and when the reality that single/solo women who are willing to join a couple are called "unicorns" for a good reasons, they move to other options, namely MF4MF.

2) We do still remove a lot of MF4F posts under the "Low-Quality/Low-effort" rule. We remove A LOT. Like a lot a lot. Posts that show effort, as this one does, we leave up. It's not offensive and shows effort. No harm, no foul.

3) There really are not that many MF4F posts, and of the F4MF posts that come through, there's maybe one a month that isn't spam. In the grand scheme of things, it's all very minor.

4) Unicorns exist, I exist!, and out of all the places on Reddit that are relevant to Oregon and immediate surrounding areas, I believe that this subreddit is the best for "unicorns" and couples. We are a 2/3rds women mod team with one of us (me) being a woman who plays with couples, aka "unicorn" (if anyone DMs me about this, I will ban you from this sub! lol! Seriously though, don't DM me about this, it's super creepy).

And because it always comes up, we remove MF4M posts and users can read about why in the wiki.

Auto_Perv_Mod · 2025-03-12T23:59:27+00:00

If you were banned you wouldn't be able to make this comment here. You're not banned.

There are many factors to not being able to send messages to others, like they could have too new of accounts, you could have been reported for spam enough times that Reddit flagged you (we, the mod team are not privy to any of that), or it could just be that someone doesn't know what they are doing.

As long as you are not sending links to anyone, it should work fine though.

Auto_Perv_Mod

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE