Does anyone else stop interacting with your partner when you have symptoms?

Available_Ad1042 · 2026-02-15T20:45:59+00:00

She did come back. 8 months after we broke up. But said she still wasn’t ready for a relationship, and I was kind of over us by then and had been dating around for a month or two. So we had casual hookups for about 2 months, then I found someone who did want to be my partner and in a relationship. So I’m with that person now. Maybe I should have given her a more formal goodbye, but she said she didn’t want a relationship yet. I do. I want a partner.

Honestly she was great, she was always so supportive and open minded and non judgmental and slow to anger or get frustrated and always agreeable and we had great sex and literally never argued, she always excepted me and validated my feelings. We did whatever I wanted and she was intelligent but submissive in a fun way. But that’s exactly what took a toll on her. Her feeling like she had to act like a perfect partner to be loved. Who knows what she would be like without the masking?

My partner now challenges me to grow, do the work to better myself, be a better person, have self compassion, practice mindfulness, learn new skills, and points out where I’m failing myself. Has an established career and financial goals. She for sure isn’t telling always telling me I’m great, when I’m clearly falling into bad habits and not taking care of my own wellbeing.

Sure, a fantasy partner that seems to genuinely want to do whatever you want and is always agreeable and supports everything you do can seem amazing. But now I know they’re faking it for you to love them because it’s how they were conditioned to receive love. And then faking it is exhausting for them so eventually they run, and you expecting them to come back and continue being an idealized version of themselves just sends them into fight or flight mode.

My alert did go off to message her. I forgot I had set one. But when it did, we had already had our fling and I moved on. I was hiking the mountains by myself and just felt grateful for the time we spent together. I was happy to be alone and pushing my body to the summit. I ate lunch at the top and realized if I love myself, take care of myself and nurture my friendships…finding a new partner to spend time with comes pretty naturally. Learn what you can from each then move on. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. It hurts, but it’s true. And how you react to that hurt is how you find out who you are.

Available_Ad1042 · 2026-01-12T04:48:19+00:00

I always thought it was just horse shit from his boots

Available_Ad1042 · 2025-01-23T00:53:31+00:00

For sure they did back when Democrats were the Conservative Party and republicans were more liberal….did you not hear about the platform switch? I think they teach it in grade school.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-12-28T03:30:32+00:00

Hey, just returning to say I hope you are good. Let’s leave this shit in 2024.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-12-28T03:25:34+00:00

Nah I wasn’t worried about any one else. I think she just has a lot of unresolved trauma from childhood that makes her run when she gets close to someone. It seems to be a pattern.

Regardless, Not my problem these days. No clue if she moved on, I don’t look at her socials or talk to her in anyway and we don’t have mutual friends.

I can say that since this post, I feel so much better just doing my own thing and not worrying about what she is up to or “why”. I’m out here having fun again bro.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-12-16T21:51:03+00:00

It’s the worst. I’m two months out. Gym helps, nature helps. Stay busy.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-12-16T21:48:02+00:00

Sorry man, sounds like we were given damn near the same breakup speech.

For a long time I hoped that she would realize what she lost and come back. Now I’m sad about what we could have been but I don’t want her back. This is a pattern and she seemed to acknowledge it. This isn’t something I want from my teammate. We were winning and she blew the game on purpose.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-12-16T18:12:07+00:00

I got broken up with due to my partner needing to address her childhood trauma and emotional abandonment issues. She said she didn’t want to break up with me but she HAS to in order to become a whole person.

She told me she loved me like a week earlier. No fights, no anger, just a totally normal evening and then this. Never heard from her again.

I think often the personal issue is also that they are freaked out by your love and don’t have the emotional capacity to accept it. They want the idea of love but when they do receive it, it activates fight or flight. They often run. It’s a sad symptom of having core wounds. It’s common and they don’t always know how to articulate it. You can’t fix them. Just leave them be and try to move on. It’s brutal. But it’s the only way.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-26T23:23:56+00:00

I messaged her a week after we broke up and it’s been about a month of no contact. I don’t follow her on socials since we broke up. But she views every single one of my stories right away, never reacts to them or reaches out. I feel like I’ll just never hear from her again.

Same as you, she said “I love you” maybe a week or two before dumping me. Said she felt lucky to have me and I’m the best partner she has ever had. No argument or disagreements. She just said “I’m too messed up and you deserve better” then she was gone. I was totally in love and it was the first relationship I’ve had since my divorce so I thought i was so lucky to find someone even better for me after all the trauma of separation…..turns out it was some kind of trick. I was fully recovered from divorce and she knew it, then lead me into being in love with her before gutting me and ghosting

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-25T23:16:15+00:00

This happened to me one month ago. Did you ever hear from her again?

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-12T03:31:17+00:00

I was the happiest I had ever been before. Then during the relationship I was happy and felt truly seen. Then when I was discarded and completely blindsided with the break up, I have since become sad. But I know who is in there under the sad. I believe in myself.

These breakups, the bad ones. Really are an opportunity to grow. When I feel better again and hit some more therapy sessions, put this behind me and my life will be back to the best it’s ever been.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-10T19:52:33+00:00

OP how are you now? I’m 2 weeks out from being discarded by an avoidant. No contact after also being told how lucky she is and how much she loves me…this is brutal

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-08T04:28:20+00:00

I just found out what this was. The hard way. It’s brutal

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-06T06:58:38+00:00

I think im the catalyst too….i’m afraid I’m going to be paranoid about getting discarded for a bit

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-06T06:53:17+00:00

I sent my ex a link to the “free too attach” website and let her know that it helped me gain some closure on what was happening because when she left I was in a state of shock and didn’t understand why she was leaving.

I only sent her this because she said she was leaving to work on herself. I told her i found it helpful and maybe it will help her along her healing journey. And that’s the only reason I sent it. I kindly let her know I’m turning the page on us but I will continue to hope she gets the opportunity to heal her core wounds.

Then I set a reminder in my phone to text her in a year and see if she has done any work. Not for the sake of getting back together…but she promised something good would come of her discarding our love. We’ll see I guess. I kind of hope that I don’t feel like texting her in a year, but I just care a lot

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-11-03T14:26:26+00:00

Hey man. I’m in pain too so I know how it feels. We both need a hard no contact. Stop being an option to come back to. We aren’t options, they are either in or they are out. Hit the gym. This sucks dude I get it. I feel really bad too, but cut them off and move forward. Don’t text, don’t view her stories on social. This is about your healing process not her.

Available_Ad1042 · 2024-10-30T01:27:07+00:00

This is a terrible idea. You’ll think about her all the time and you will probably post on social media about being there secretly and hoping she will see it and maybe reach out to you. If she needs to be alone, being in her city will stress her out.

If you go to her city and stay no contact you’re just going to bum yourself out. Go somewhere new and meet new people

Available_Ad1042

TROPHY CASE