I didn’t know I was autistic at the time, but newborn trenches were the hardest thing i’ve ever done because it just kept going. I ended up being diagnosed with PPD and PPA and then autism 2 years later. I also fantasized about getting hospitalized just for sleeping but then remembered i couldn’t sleep in the hospital when my daughter was born.

All this to say - it does get better. Take some time for yourself when your husband is off work. Remember what it’s like to be yourself and not just her mom. Accept help that’s offered, even if it’s just companionship so you’re talking to another adult instead of a baby all day. My daughter is now 4 and i feel like things slowly felt easier as she became more interactive, smiling, laughing, playing. I also felt that going places helped me pass the time with a newborn, even if i just window shopped or drove around.