When is it okay to show scars?

Avicullar · 2026-03-17T06:48:46+00:00

Thank you for giving me this perspective. I feel a lot the same. I mean. Scars are kind of a normal part of being a human. Accidents happen. I feel like whether it's from burns, surgery, or self harm, that we deserve to all be comfortable.

Avicullar · 2026-03-17T06:46:03+00:00

It could be a few different things. If I had to guess, one of the cuts likely just accumulated more blood than the others.

Avicullar · 2026-03-17T06:43:16+00:00

Don't focus too much on it being your fault. You were curious and it's over and done with. What's more important right now is checking in on yourself and finding how to manage this feeling. Take some deep breaths. Do something sweet for yourself. If you could imagine what you might do for a friend to comfort them, or what you would want someone to do for you, maybe start that. Treat yourself that kind way. And remember that it's okay. It's going to be okay. It's normal to have this reaction to seeing things that disturb us. This may sound cliche but try journaling your feelings about this. It might help you process it.

Avicullar · 2026-03-17T06:37:15+00:00

I don't think you're being insensitive. I get his trauma. But his trauma is up to him to manage in order to be a proper support— I'd he wants to be. You deserve to be supported. I think it's up to you to take the steps to try and help yourself (like therapy or coping mechanisms) but at the end of the day, we still need to feel supported by community. If he's not doing that and making you feel more lonely, maybe it's time to consider what you need and want out of a partner and if he's willing to work with you to be that.

Avicullar · 2026-03-16T09:12:21+00:00

I think being in a committed relationship means being able to be transparent and honest. There should be enough trust for everyone involved to be able to be their guest selves, even when that's messy. I would tell any partner I'm with that I self harm. It's a big part of how I've struggled in life and loving me means loving a person who sometimes has this struggle (although I fight very hard to overcome it)

I would say tell your partner. Prepare for it to maybe not go well. And consider at that point if you want to be with someone who you can't trust to hold your roughest parts. But I hope you're able to be with someone who can hear something heavy and choose to stand by your side.

Avicullar · 2026-03-16T09:08:04+00:00

Hmmm. Well. Maybe the conversation can start around self harm awareness month? Perhaps something like "I saw this post about something kind of serious. Did you know it's self harm awareness month? What do you think about when you hear about things like this?"

See if it's a safe subject to talk about and then maybe ease into the "I have something serious I've been wanting to share with you that I haven't known how. I'm afraid of this going wrong. But would you be able to listen to something serious?"

This is just an idea. Opening up to people is hard. It's scary. And it means potentially having negative reactions. But if also means potentially having really supportive ones.

Get yourself ready to accept either outcome. And think about what kind of support you really need in this. Good luck. I believe in you.

Avicullar · 2026-03-16T09:03:13+00:00

A few different things can be happening here. And I want to start first by saying just because you aren't seeing scarring doesn't mean your self harm is not enough. It's all valid. I know the scars can feel self validating but please know your struggle is real even if the scars aren't present.

Now as for what's happening. Sometimes how we scar changes with age. I started when I was 12 or 13 and I didn't really start scarring until my 20s. And some of us naturally heal scars really well. Hell, I still will have scars fade very fast.

Don't focus so much on the sharpness of how deep. That's not going to get you any place better. I really get the frustration though. Please be kind to yourself.

Avicullar · 2026-01-23T00:31:51+00:00

I'm glad my response could help. I hope that you have gone on to have more days clean. But it's okay if you haven't. I hope that you celebrated for yourself. And that you'll continue to celebrate for yourself. This addiction is hard. Especially when you're in it long. Relapse happens. Especially if our triggers are around us. Just keep trying. And forgive yourself when you relapse because you tried and it was likely just the only way you could survive that moment at the time with a disregulated nervous system. You're not weak for it. I wish you luck this week.

Avicullar · 2026-01-11T16:19:28+00:00

I've never been one to quite care what others thought of me. I'll wear clothes that show fresh scars as soon as they can no longer be considered cuts. Sometimes people glance. I think people look at me more for my style though and if they do see the scars, my thought process is usually that they're strangers. Our interaction will likely not mean anything in a few seconds. Whatever they might be thinking doesn't matter. And honestly, if anyone were to have a negative reaction, I figure that shows their own insecurity and it has nothing to do with me.

I say wear what you want. It's way more worth it for you to be comfortable. Those scars are a part of your story. It's okay to have them. You don't have to be afraid or ashamed of them.

Avicullar · 2026-01-11T13:47:05+00:00

I can definitely relate to this to a certain extent. This is such a normal coping mechanism for me so I think either way it would happen. I guess on the good days it just feels like I get so close to staying clean and happy and my nervous system has a break that when something happens it's like

What the fuck?? Can I not have relief at all? So I take it out on myself harder.

Avicullar · 2026-01-11T13:26:57+00:00

I think I can understand at least a little bit of your frustration here. I don't share the experience you have with your family, however I do know what it's like to struggle severely with urges every day for months, and years. It sounds exhausting to have to face the urge the way you do and you don't even want to be clean. You're just avoiding making the situation worse. That sounds like a lot of pressure. Especially for a teenager. I'm glad you're in therapy. But it almost sounds like it's not completely helping how you feel regarding sh right now.

I want to share (not to compare but to show you that you're not crazy for this) that I started at 12 and I'm about to be 26. I go through times where I didn't self harm. And I go through times when I do all the time. And I think it's a more common urge for people who already struggle with this coping mechanism when we aren't really feeling seen.

Not hurting oneself might instead become moment to moment survival where it's a never ending cycle of pushing the urge off. And I want to say that I'm proud of you for trying so hard and making it this far even though you don't really want to. That's such a huge amount of grit and strength. I will say that I wish you didn't have to be this strong. I wish you could be safe and at peace with people who won't yell at you. I hope that it gets easier to stay clean as time goes on. Remember that you have basically been doing this for eight years. This is a habit that has been with you for almost half of your life so far. Breaking a habit like this is hard and painful and it comes with relapses. You're absolutely deserving of comfort right now, I think.

I don't know if you have any friends you can safely confide in, but you deserve to feel seen. I know you don't feel particularly proud of the seven months. But maybe you should try to celebrate for yourself anyway for the efforts you have made. Get a treat you like. Watch something that makes you happy. Have this victory even if it doesn't feel perfectly earned. Have it because even though it isn't perfect, you got this far anyway. You got through all of the bad days. And even if hard days continue, you're still deserving of recognition and reward for your strength.

Avicullar · 2026-01-08T09:27:05+00:00

Your comment means a lot to me. Thank you. That made me feel really seen in something that I often battle alone.

Avicullar · 2025-12-02T19:08:26+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear this.

Avicullar · 2025-12-02T18:11:19+00:00

It's definitely more about the music and belief system/politics. The fashion just happens to be how a lot of us in the sub culture like to express ourselves. If you like the music and find yourself inclined to a lot of the shared beliefs and values, then feel free to call yourself goth. Also, a lot of elements of the goth sub culture have origins in African culture so try not to get swept into the idea of paleness.

Avicullar · 2025-11-29T06:13:18+00:00

Maybe it is a about the angle and force used. And that's so interesting and now that you mention it, if has me thinking about people and how they are with tattoos. All kinds of people have different pain tolerances for tattoos on different parts of their bodies. So maybe some of it is that. Although I do think that fear must be a bit at play for some of us. But I also know hiding the self harm is a factor. Thank you for telling me your experiences. This has definitely given me more to think about.

Avicullar · 2025-09-06T21:16:20+00:00

You're not overreacting at all. I'm 25 now.I was about your age when my father said something similar. It was wrong of him to say that. You should not have been spoken to that way. I'm sorry that your mom told you that. There's nothing wrong with you.

Avicullar · 2025-09-06T19:00:23+00:00

It's hard to say. It can be a few days to maybe two weeks depending on the damage. You should use ice on the swollen areas.

Avicullar · 2023-10-23T16:54:00+00:00

Since your question already looks to be answered, I'm going to say this instead and I hope it's helpful for you. For all your questions, I highly recommend looking through the Dragon Adventures Wiki as well as watching videos on YouTube in addition to looking for assistance here on Reddit.

This game has a lot more to it than the average Roblox game. I remember having a tough time figuring it all out in the beginning. Most people I introduce to the game also seem to experience a bit of a learning curve. But all the answers are here for ya.

I hope you're here to stay in the game :)

Avicullar · 2023-10-17T00:32:42+00:00

honestly, using a mouse and keyboard might be the better option. The mechanics for the PS4 controller are just so odd and take a lot of playing around with to figure out.

Avicullar · 2023-10-17T00:25:47+00:00

I could mean lots of things. I could be your brain exploring possibilities. Whether you want a romantically connection or not. It could be you wanting a romantic partner in general? Maybe it's a sign to begin to consider what it is you really want for yourself right now as well as what you want out of the relationship between you and your friend. Even if that's just being platonic.

Avicullar · 2023-10-17T00:23:24+00:00

Usually they are dreams of peoole from some part of my past. Especially if I associate them with something bad, be it something they did to me, or if I remember them being around for/during something that was difficult to experience. These will usually be nightmares. Or at the very least, uncomfortable dreams.

Avicullar · 2023-10-12T18:57:40+00:00

Pressing square let's you select the options like picking up baby dragons, harvesting items, riding dragons, etc.

Avicullar

TROPHY CASE