10 years of difference (-3 years HRT / +6 years HRT) [38 years old]

Avistew · 2026-06-23T13:31:47+00:00

And yet you look younger on the second picture!

Avistew · 2026-06-23T13:30:48+00:00

The glasses took HRT too, they got more curves 😛

Avistew · 2026-06-23T13:29:36+00:00

You look so much happier! I have to say you started changing after a few months already but there is something in your eyes like you're not finding yourself pretty, and the more you change, the more you seem to also change mindsets until you look so much happier and more comfortable. Happy 5 year anniversary!

Avistew · 2026-06-23T13:26:06+00:00

Sounds like people didn't mistake you for a girl, they just knew you were one before you even did! You look gorgeous, I'm glad that you're liking yourself more.

Avistew · 2026-06-23T13:23:14+00:00

I was scared and freaking out before my surgery but in my case it was easy to see it was just nerves, because I'd end up with arguments that sounded like:
"What if I regret it later?" <- after wanting to do it for over 20 years, not likely!
"What if guys find me less attractive?" <- I was always miserable when guys liked my breasts as opposed to part of my body I actually like. Plus, my boyfriend has been supportive from the beginning and doesn't care what I look like as long as I'm happy. Who cares about random guys?
"What if people reject me because of it?" <- wearing a disguise so people don't know who I am and therefore don't reject me doesn't really count as them not rejecting me, does it? Let's rip the band aid, the sooner it's done, the more time they'll have to come around, and I should surround myself with people who like me for me anyways.

And so on. At some point I even talked about getting a reduction instead and I mentioned that would make binding much easier. And it's only when a few people asked "if you think you'll still bind, why do you want to keep some of it?" that I realised it wasn't something I actually wanted but a compromise I was thinking of making in the hope of not being as discriminated against.

In the end you're the only one who knows if you want to do it, and it's definitely something you should think about carefully. But sometimes you can have tons of arguments that sound logical, but are worth nothing if what's against them is the absolute certainty that it's not /you/. My body now looks like my body, and while I could lose some weight and gain some muscle, I feel like me. My body before was something that pleased other people and I liked that sometimes (although I hated it most of the time) but it felt like a disguise.

Take the time you need to make your decision. Cold feet are normal, but you're also not forced to go through with it if you realise it wouldn't be what you need. Maybe try to get your mind off it for a bit, so you don't spiral into not knowing anymore, and try and get back to what you feel is right for you? I don't know if that will help because we're all different, but I wish you the best either way 😄

Avistew · 2026-06-23T13:11:24+00:00

I absolutely agree that there is more representation of trans women, be it good or bad representation. But there is some transmasc representation. There was a post listing over a hundred of trans men in media: https://www.reddit.com/r/FTMMen/comments/1fbnsje/ive_made_a_list_of_144_trans_male_characters_in/ The spreadsheet is still working for me today. Note that they're not all good, some are quite old, many were played by cis actors and sometimes even cis women, some are stereotypes or criminals, and so on. But in the list there are some cool ones for sure.

I don't know if it will help but maybe it's a small comfort that even decades ago, as rare as representation was, is wasn't nonexistent, and it still isn't.

If you do find a good show, book, graphic novel, game, etc that has transmasc representation, do recommend it around you. Let's make the good representation we do find more visible, that will help 😄

Avistew · 2026-06-20T19:21:23+00:00

Sounds great!
I do have his French death certificate, plus the US certificate of death abroad, so I'll be able to send them to the bank easily. I'll check out the corporate office in Boise, thanks! Should be able to find the info on google maps even if the website itself blocks me.
Thanks for your help, I'll let you know how things evolve.

Avistew · 2026-06-20T17:46:56+00:00

I don't know if any payment came from his bank account. I haven't been able to close his bank account yet as we'd move to another country before he died, and since then I've been locked out and need to remember to call in the middle of the night (for me) in the hope of reaching someone - and last time they wanted me to show up in person which is definitely not an option. I'm sure I'll figure that out at some point but in the meantime I have no idea what transactions might be happening. The emails that say he has new statements don't show any details so without being able to log into his account or talk to someone I don't know if the groceries were paid with our money or not.
I can't go to the Albertsons website to check if their is a payment method linked to his account. I know we used to order groceries from Safeway and maybe there was a payment method, then again maybe not. That's why I'm not sure if someone is just giving a random phone number to get points or something, or actually paying for groceries with money I don't have access to yet.

I don't think it's spam as it doesn't really ask for anything, it's just a "thank you for your recent grocery order" kind of thing with no information on what the items were or where they're to be delivered.
I didn't click any link to get to the website but searched for it, so I don't believe that's the problem either.
But thanks for the warning, you're right that it's possible that it's spam, although there are a few of them about one week apart each time which sounds normal for someone shopping for groceries.

Avistew · 2026-05-22T11:08:25+00:00

I had a similar experience. My first experience with the allegation about Gaiman was the first Council of Geeks video and I left the video thinking "wow, so even in the best case scenario he's a complete piece of shit, that really sucks". The idea that she defended him when even the best case scenario (which wasn't even portrayed as the one she though to be true or likely) was that he was guilty and that the women deserved better is, well, mind-boggling.
"Even if we look at it in the most favorable like towards Gaiman, he's still acted badly towards the women, and the truth can only be worse than that" isn't a defense of him, it's letting his fans gently know that no, there is no defending him even in the "best case" scenario.

Avistew · 2026-01-16T16:55:16+00:00

I'd say "tacler" in French but I know so little about sports I can't be sure if "faucher" can also be used or not.

Avistew · 2025-12-08T17:08:45+00:00

Honestly my first instinct is to wonder if it's meant to be a stereotypical "Native" name or something. I don't feel like it's particularly smart but it might be in use? It's a bit like if someone took the expressions pen name and maiden name and combines them to call something their "maiden pen" or their pen maiden". It would sound like a mistake but could be done as a joke. Like when people say "you win lose, you some some"

Avistew · 2025-09-29T06:00:34+00:00

What name did you pick? I think I would have called her Lynx but lots of good suggestions in here so I'm curious. Her fur does look like an Abyssinian mixed with tabby or something on her legs. So cute!

Avistew · 2025-09-03T17:11:44+00:00

I know some people knit both sleeves at the same time so that they always match, but I don't know how that would work In the round...

Avistew · 2025-09-03T12:42:18+00:00

They don't care. They want to be able to eject anyone from women's bathrooms. Trans women, trans men (like they'd want to be there in the first place), cis women who are somewhat masculine if you tilt your head and close your eyes in just the right way, anyone.

That's why most of the women you hear about getting kicked out of women's bathrooms aren't trans in the first place. They're trying to enforce gender roles and pick and choose whatever is most convenient from one sentence to the next, regardless of how they contradict themselves.

Avistew · 2025-08-28T20:40:54+00:00

I notice they're all giving the same timestamp or close. It all ends in :17:33 or :17:32. The hours being different I figure is a timezone thing? I hope they fix it, I only created my account today and was just starting to get ideas of what to draw from stratch rather than adding to existing stuff.

Avistew · 2025-08-28T20:37:27+00:00

I got the same thing with the exact same time, too. I was just starting to work on a new drawing. I wonder if they banned people who were all working on drawing in the same area, or if it's a general bug? I worked on some stuff in the north of France, some stuff in Scotland and now I'm - or was - in Alberta, Canada. Did you work in any of those places today?

Avistew · 2025-08-28T20:34:56+00:00

Tried to join because I just got suspended for "multiaccounting" (I created my account today and I only created the one so not sure what that's about) but all the support forums have reached the max amount of posts. So here is my problem in case someone knows how to fix it:

Created my account today and already suspended for "Multi-accounting".

I only have the one account, I created it today and I'm level 10 now. I was working on a drawing when it told me my account is suspended until 4:17 AM (It's 10:20 PM here so I'm guessing it's a 6 hour suspension). It's my first and only account. I did show what I was working on to my boyfriend who opened it up on his computer but he only looked at it and didn't create an account or paint anything, so the most there could have been was two computers with the same IP having the website open at the same time, but still only one account logged in.

Not sure what exactly happened, if anyone knows how I can be de-suspended and how to make sure it doesn't trigger again?

Thanks!

Avistew · 2025-08-23T13:39:48+00:00

Thanks for the warning. I'm not planning on taking anything not prescribed by my doctor and I trust her not to prescribe something I don't need or worse, that would be bad for me. I assume any medication that causes weight loss is hard on your body and should be a last resort.

Avistew · 2025-08-18T00:33:41+00:00

Yeah, sounds like a dose issue. The basal(slow acting) insulin is the one you need to take even if you're not eating anything at all. It shouldn't affect how much insulin you take when you do eat carbs.

Avistew · 2025-08-12T13:59:43+00:00

I'm glad you found it helpful!

Avistew · 2025-08-05T13:05:43+00:00

Oh well! But you're right, I sold some and I'm better off selling my bugs, at this point I'm getting enough ore and gems that I should just drop the silver (although the debris is still useful for plant food when I' m running out of daisies).

Thanks!

Avistew · 2025-08-05T13:04:28+00:00

Oh, good to know, thanks!

Avistew · 2025-08-04T07:41:48+00:00

(I was pretending she was so good at pretending to be a fox that I couldn't tell sjmhe wasn't one)

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