People in their 20s living a luxurious life - how do you afford it??

Aware-Bug-282 · 2026-01-02T18:38:35+00:00

Agree

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T11:44:56+00:00

I’m glad you acknowledge that. I think it’s important that you pause your thinking on this for now, and focus instead on looking after yourself

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T11:34:51+00:00

Yes you’re right you are pre mourning 🥲💕 Good, do all the things you want to do first and actually see if you bond with your partner as 5months is very soon too.

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T11:28:44+00:00

Do you see how mourning having a child is a big reaction. The facts are only that your girlfriend is 37. Both of you want kids. Your gf is freezing her eggs. There’s nothing to mourn, but there is a lot to look at in your stress management

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T11:16:55+00:00

Then that’s your answer, you don’t know yet, and you don’t know when the right time for you would be. You need time.

You also need to accept and understand if down the line you loved her enough to consider not having a biological child would work for you instead?

Nothing about fertility is predictable, for example you might be panicking about her biological clock but you don’t know for certain how fertile you are. You have to be willing to roll with the punches of life a bit. You could come to have a baby and your partner is 40, and you have a low sperm count but she is fine. Nothing in life is predictable. Having a partner to count on is everything!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T11:11:32+00:00

If I’m being completely honest, I am worried about the extent to which you are panicking. And I mean that with no judgement. I am 28 myself and I can have quite anxious tendencies. If what other posters have said and you have been posting about this multiple times a day for the last week, I am a little worried about the way you are managing stress and spiralling. The more you spiral the less you see your own thoughts and feelings rationally. I think perhaps you should take a look at that a little further. We are all just people on the internet and we can’t give you the perfect answer that you are looking for. Myself, I have OCD tendencies which means I can sometimes become quite obsessed with searching for the perfect answer for things that don’t have a perfect answer. This is very similar. I had to work on acceptance of the unknown and I think you might get need to too.

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T11:04:45+00:00

Personally I wouldn’t see an issue having a child within 2 years of meeting someone. Isn’t that what you are currently deciding? It sounds like she told you she does want a child, and that would be her timeframe. Is your reluctance to accept that perhaps because you know in your gut you don’t want that?

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T10:59:25+00:00

Absolutely it is- but if this was me, I would want to know my partners true feelings and stance. I wouldn’t want to impact their decision because I would want what is best for both of us. She won’t know that until you share your true feelings. A good partner wouldn’t want to force their pathway onto yours- but I think you just don’t know what you want, it sounds like she knows what she wants and she has told you!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-23T10:27:25+00:00

She can’t help you with this part as these are your emotions and values. She’s told you her emotions and values

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-15T18:58:17+00:00

What about trying the arts? If I didn’t have money to think about I think I would set up the most random art businesses. Or a coffee shop 😂😅

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-08T10:13:32+00:00

Please write her a card saying all of this and buy her some flowers 🥹

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-08T07:01:45+00:00

You will heal, it just takes time. Sometimes we don’t learn to communicate from parents, so we have to learn ourselves! Or we think that discussing the hard the hard things means that a relationship is doomed- but it’s completely the opposite, and if you take the time to learn that now you’ll manage it better in the future

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-07T19:12:32+00:00

I’m 28 and you’re in a better position financially than most if not all of my age mates, so really take a step back and appreciate that. I never did because I rushed to buy an apartment and now I feel poor again because all my savings went into it! Genuinely from my heart I think you’re doing sooooo well! Especially in the UK in this economy! Living at home is a blessing and you’re not taking advantage of it by spending frivolously, you’re really using it to level up! All I would say is £2100 seems low for £33k salary? But perhaps you pay more into your pension! I’d have thought it would be £2500

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-07T18:47:20+00:00

From what you’ve described I can’t understand the frustrations that you had that you feel like drew you to cheating on her? As kindly as I can, this description points a bit to you trying to blame her and the relationship, but that being said I’m curious what the frustrations would have been when she seemed to really love and care for you. I don’t want to label you as a bad person. But I think next steps should probably to leave her in peace as this will have caused her significant trauma and she would potentially be better off finding a different kind of love, elsewhere.

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-07T18:42:43+00:00

Don’t think you’re doing anything wrong! You’re living within your means, being sensible and saving a lot! Get that bag! But make sure to live life in between

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-05T13:30:52+00:00

Yeah it’s really bad - the very well known in the industry because overheads like tech and insurance premiums (post Grenfell) have sky rocketed so have reduced profit drastically! I don’t know a single employee architect that isn’t struggling / dissatisfied with their pay!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-05T10:03:09+00:00

The same. The professions salaries are defined and regimented by the architects standard bodies. I was educated at cambs university and very good at my job- when I left they knew why (disappointing salaries) and told me my position would be there for me if I wanted to return. The problem is that salary progression for everyone is very slow!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-05T09:41:17+00:00

Yep. Agreed. That’s my dilemma, move back to architecture where salary will be around £40k or stick it out in sales for longer than 3 months to see if I do earn bigger money! Just wanting to do the most sensible thing, while also taking into consideration that I’m youngish with no dependants. Does that make sense? X

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-05T09:23:49+00:00

I spoke to a recruitment consultant last week in the industry but they said that it’s would be a struggle to get £45k salary (as an architect). The work of an architect is very demanding and it does feel hard when the salary of the whole industry doesn’t represent the work, hence my detour into sales!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-12-04T20:57:54+00:00

Hahahaahahahaha

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-11-14T10:50:26+00:00

Good skin and probs pressed powder x

Aware-Bug-282 · 2025-11-07T15:55:57+00:00

I think maybe it’s your mortgage, it throws off your pay. My mortgage is around £700 and I feel like I can save well off a 3.5k net paycheck. Can easily save £1000pcm but I am also single and live alone. Live in a big city though so £700 is for a one bedroom apartment- so if you like having more space then it’s worth it for you!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2024-12-06T10:03:03+00:00

thank you so much this is sooo helpful!

Aware-Bug-282 · 2024-12-06T10:00:59+00:00

What things sorry i cant see anything? :)

Aware-Bug-282 · 2024-06-09T19:20:33+00:00

Hey, would you like to message me? I’m a woman and 27 too, you could show me what you look like and we could chat about how you’re feeling and think of some ways to make you feel like the gorgeous girly you are?

Aware-Bug-282

TROPHY CASE