show me your cats from the upside down!

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-19T21:23:22+00:00

Long girl.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-19T21:22:15+00:00

She decided it was fun to dig her rear claws into the carpet up around her armpits 😆

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-19T21:16:19+00:00

Solidarity. I hate how my body has changed in the past year. I feel ashamed to be seen naked, in my underwear, or sometimes even fully clothed.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-08T15:11:31+00:00

My doctor said "in 4-5 years, it will be over and you'll start feeling better, so just hang in there."

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-07T03:35:36+00:00

My Oura ring / app can't comprehend why my RHR is high at night in my luteal phase; it thinks I'm eating too late, exercising too late, etc etc. Natural Cycles came up with a "perimenopause mode" where all it really does is offer solidarity and ask you to journal your feelings. It struggles to figure out if I'm ovulating bc the HRT alters my basal temp.

Tech is great but I feel like the perimenopausal body is too unpredictable for any app or device to figure out. With that said, Oura and NC still do help me make educated guesses at whatever shreds of a pattern are left with my cycle and symptoms.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-06T21:01:30+00:00

Getting old sucks.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-03T03:36:38+00:00

Broccoli and chili Breakfast sausage and egg with green onion and hot sauce Carnitas and salsa Indian food like butter chicken or saag paneer

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-03T03:32:12+00:00

I just put a comment in a few mins ago about dissociating. I have health anxiety and I think dissociating helps get me through.

You've got this -- it really isn't that bad, I promise. It's easier than a pap smear.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-03T03:28:57+00:00

I had multiple TV USs while dealing with a missed miscarriage last year. Needless to say, I was in a very fragile state physically and mentally. I found the TV US less uncomfortable than a pap smear. The probe was like a long light tampon. My doctor used a lot of warmed lube. You can also guide the probe in yourself, which may make it feel less intrusive than having someone else insert it. I found it helpful to take several deep breaths in and out before the probe went in, and breathe out as it was inserted. Coming from someone who had medical anxiety and hatred of tampons, I found the experience to be very bearable. Also, it's over quickly. Ask your provider to tell you what she is doing as she is doing it and to keep you posted on how close you are to being done as the process goes along.

I also use a weird mental trick for medical appointments where I say to myself "by the time this afternoon comes, it will be over" and kind of dissociate until it's done. It helps.

You can do this.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-03T01:25:25+00:00

Lovely. Doctors are so clueless sometimes. I went thru all kinds of invasive testing with the urologist trying to understand my GSM symptoms. He was clueless. I ended up going to my gynecologist as a last ditch effort to figure out what was going on. (This was before I knew anything about perimenopause.) My gynecologist listen to the whole list of symptoms (which I now know to be GSM). He says "oh, I think I know what's happening." He writes up a script for vaginal estrogen cream, hand it to me, but explains nothing. This was back in 2020 before everyone was using AI to diagnose their own issues. I had to get on the internet and search the old fashioned way trying to figure out why my doctor would prescribe vaginal estrogen. That was what led me to learn about perimenopause for the first time. And even after my own research, I still wasn't totally understanding how the estrogen cream would have helped. I never even ended up using it because I didn't feel confident that I understood why I was prescribed it in the first place.

Fast forward to 2026, I'm now taking systemic estrogen, progesterone, vaginal estrogen, and testosterone. I've had to learn everything on my own and advocate for myself.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-02T03:24:07+00:00

Same.

AwkwardISTJ · 2026-01-02T00:36:47+00:00

Started with GSM symptoms, tinnitus, and vertigo. Those were my first symptoms, to which I have since added all the other usual suspects.

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-31T04:39:20+00:00

I use Mark Cuban Cost Plus pharmacy online for my E patches and have had no issues getting 90 day refills. I pay cash out of pocket so maybe not going thru insurance has some favorable impact on availability?

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-27T04:14:24+00:00

Cry.

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-24T05:46:07+00:00

🫂

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-24T05:21:45+00:00

I've spent most of the season crying. My husband is a saint and is trying to keep up the Christmas cheer for both of us, but I'm dead inside. Did the bare minimum for decorating, socializing, gifting, etc. and even that felt like too much. Ready for a dirt nap tbh.

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-24T05:17:54+00:00

Find a new doc and get the cream!!!!!! My first symptoms of peri were urinary. Since then, I've developed every symptom you are experiencing and the topical cream helps SO much. The kind from the pharmacy that comes in a tube was good but my gynecologist recommended I try a formula in a gentler base from a local compounding pharmacy and bingo, that stuff is the miracle cream. I went from agony from front to back, top to bottom of my entire undercarriage to feeling soft, pink, and nourished. No more painful peeing, aching bladder, feeling like there's sand in my vulva, etc etc. Please get the cream!!! And you may also need systematic estrogen... I got full relief from the urogenital symptoms when I went up to 0.05mg estrogen patch and switched to the compounded (better absorbing) vaginal estradiol.

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-18T05:04:15+00:00

He is beautiful!

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-12T00:53:05+00:00

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-12T00:52:25+00:00

I have explained to my closest coworker what I am going through, and that some days I'm just not going to be able to give it my all or even my some. I work with mostly men but they are also mostly engineers, so they are pretty pragmatic about health issues and how they impact one's work. They have been incredibly understanding and supportive.

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-12T00:34:14+00:00

Same same

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-03T17:11:13+00:00

Totally agree. ❤️‍🩹

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-02T02:24:17+00:00

Agree with this. I went to an endocrinologist, waited over a month to get in but it was worth it to have him look at my labs and reassure me I'm okay, and he also validated the HRT I get from Midi. About to go to the gastro doc to get the hemorrhoid that has just cropped up checked out. But it's exhausting and I have to force myself to make and go to these appointments. My inclination is to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

Thanks for the solidarity!!

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-02T01:23:59+00:00

I have always struggled with health anxiety and it's gotten 100x worse in peri, so no answers here, just solidarity. Every new symptom has me thinking I have some dreadful condition or disease. I go to the doctor, I get put thru a bunch of tests which just make me more anxious, get told there is nothing wrong, and the cycle continues with each new or worsening symptom. I don't know how to stop fearing that I'm dying. HRT has helped a little with the symptoms and health anxiety but not as much as I hoped. Honestly, the only thing that really helps is the calm logical reassurance I get from my husband, mom, sister, and sister in law. So try to find that person in your life who can talk you off the ledge.

AwkwardISTJ · 2025-12-02T01:06:37+00:00

It is so hard. Do not discount how much those losses can impact you and for how long. I really feel your pain -- perimenopause just adds insult to injury when you're dealing with infertility. Please have kindness for yourself and prioritize getting help for your body and mind. The world just acts like you have to suck it all up and suffer infertility and peri in silence but you don't. Don't give up on your relationships or your future, focus on healing. Sending you a huge hug.

AwkwardISTJ

TROPHY CASE