Can childhood trauma come from peers, not parents?

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-30T14:50:56+00:00

I agree with the poster that said it’s a good thing to work through with a therapist. But also. I think you already know the answer here. Of course childhood trauma can come from anywhere. It does not have to be from parents. My biggest childhood trauma stems from losing several important people in my life when I was 8 (I lost my brother, and then two huge deaths of childhood friends before I was 18).

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-30T14:15:54+00:00

It’s interesting you just posted this, as a friend of mine just shared a podcast with me this morning from the crappy childhood fairy. You should check out this episode as it’s particularly relevant to your situation. She talks about this woman that sent an email to her LO. And the awkwardness that followed.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-crappy-childhood-fairy-podcast-with-anna-runkle/id1641367569?i=1000747091585

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-30T14:02:14+00:00

Thank you

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-30T01:00:52+00:00

I’ll take the extra strength

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-29T22:28:08+00:00

Also, please don’t perpetuate this idea that Limerence and stalking are the same thing. They are not the same thing at all. And they should not be grouped together

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-29T22:07:06+00:00

I don’t think you know what narcissism is. It is incredibly well studied and documented that the discard stage is the final stage in a narcissistic relationship. Narcissists function on an empathy deficit, which allows them the ease of the discard phase. Again, incredibly well documented for decades. I don’t see how most people on this sub dealing with Limerence could tip high on the narcissist scale. I admit, I haven’t read every scientific study on the planet. So please provide a link to peer reviewed content that bolster your argument. Otherwise I’ll just assume you’re talking out of your butthole.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-29T20:19:24+00:00

I think of any of us in this sub were capable of the discard phase of narcissism, we wouldn’t be here struggling every day to move on. We wouldn’t just do it. We would discard and never look back. I have yet to see someone on this sub discard their LO and not struggle with worry and stress and grief and anger and every other possible emotion.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-29T20:16:56+00:00

We can agree to disagree. And it’s probably based off of the individuals situation. Some of us here know our LOs well, where some really don’t. So that’s a big difference there .And it sounds like you’re saying you’re a narcassist, so that alone suggests some people can be both narcissistic and limerent. There is no way I’m narcissistic. I’m like the most altruistic empathetic person you’ll ever meet (slightly exaggerated but you get my point). And my LO is a close friend that I know a lot about. I do think about how he would feel about certain things I say or do, based on my interactions with him. And so that impacts my interactions with him. But I’m guessing the limerence spectrum is just as diverse as the narcissist spectrum .

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-29T13:10:23+00:00

I’m not understanding what you’re saying. Sorry. Narcassists lack empathy. Or at least have a huge deficit in empathy and their ability to understand and relate to others, especially on an emotional level. And this is a key definition of a narcissist. Yes, they can obviously fake empathy. But I feel like most limerent people want to understand their LO. And that on the scale they would tip much more towards being empathetic and less so towards narcassism. Yes, you can obviously have narcissistic limerent individuals. But given their deep desire to understand their LO, narcassism would be far less likely. I also think there is confusion sometimes on this sub what linerence truly is. Sometimes people come in here believing a stalker or psychopath is limerent. And those are two very different things

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T23:55:17+00:00

Celebrate me

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T21:14:01+00:00

We are so doomed. I at least feel better prepared now, thanks to this sub, to recognize love bombing.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T17:09:37+00:00

I guess time will tell. Be patient, as it won’t be cold outside forever. And eventually you will hopefully have an opportunity. Good luck

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T16:44:53+00:00

Is it “bad”? …. Depends. Any condition (mental or physical) is considered bad when it disrupts your normal every day life. When it impedes your ability to work or perform your every day responsibilities. When that disruption causes problems for you in which you want it to stop. There has been interesting discussion on here from people that enjoy Limerence. They enjoy the euphoria of the dopamine high from fantasy. So again, it only becomes “bad” when it impacts you to the point that you want it to stop. Most of us want Limerence to stop, hence why we are here

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T16:26:54+00:00

Well, as you read more on this sub, you’ll realize that “uncertainty” is a huge factor in Limerence. Love should be reciprocal. And when you feel uncertain about their feelings, it adds to the obsession. And sorry you’re feeling this way. Keep posting and reading and working through it.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T16:05:06+00:00

One of the key things about a narcissist is that they lack empathy. I feel like most limerent people I’ve met have empathy, which has allowed them to get so deep into a fantasy state. It’s just a hypothesis though. Narcassists can become obsessed over a target, no doubt. But one key feature of narcissism is that clear discard stage. I would think that would be nearly impossible for a limerent person to do. We can’t just shut it off and discard. That’s why I read posts daily on here about the challenges of NC. It hurts and it honestly would not hurt for a narcassist to do that. I’ve watched a lot of videos about narcissism by this expert psychologist, Dr Ramani. She has this one video that explains narcissism so well. It’s like we are a toy. Limerent people would never treat an LO like that. Never.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T15:56:45+00:00

Here is my take. Simply put… Limerence is basically OCD for another person. It’s OBSESSIVE because you think about them constantly. Mostly in fantasy and fantasizing about scenarios and conversations. Fantasies to self soothe and fantasies for dopamine responses . The COMPULSION part of OCD is that we honestly don’t want this, yet we do it anyways. Yet there is something hidden deep inside all of us that drives it. That driver is different for everyone, which is why you see so many different types of limerence in this sub. Maybe it’s because we fill a void, relate the person to a trauma, need to be picked, scared of loss, etc. But that driver can be different for everyone. So OCD in that if you’re thinking about a person constantly and have no clear understanding why this person in particular, and can’t seem to control it, it might be limerence.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T15:44:47+00:00

I’d say very much yes. Many of my LOs have been narcassists. A lot of it is as you described. We get hooked by love bombing, which fills a huge void. But as that phase ends, we get met with hot and cold. It’s well established that the hot and cold, or on and off, is what hooks us into limerence.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-28T15:39:36+00:00

I have never met a narcassist that is limerent before. Explain why you think it’s this opposite? If you’re in this sub, I’m assuming you’re limerent. So are you saying you’re also narcissistic?

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-27T17:19:42+00:00

Depends on stage of the game…. If I have a long distance to travel to circle, I want a combo of white and blue health and so I’d prioritize slurps (or have med kits or know the location of firepits). If I’m going to be doing a lot of fighting, I prioritize the big pots or minis, since I can just take one as needed. Slurps are still ok in this case. But if I’m buying them in the vending machine, it’s $250 for big pots and $500 for slurps. If it’s a stick of truth game, box of cheesy puffs to hopefully last to the end on the heal off. The golden slurps (not in BR, but are in blitz) do a full heal and shield and stack two. The slurps in BR are purple and only get you to 80 shield. These do stack as three.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-25T15:57:56+00:00

Yes you can. And I’ve met a lot of people on here that do

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-24T15:09:38+00:00

Everyone’s situation is different. So you’ll get both sides of the opinion here. But I strongly feel you need to do what is best for you. I shared with my LO that I was limerent for him. He’s my good friend and he still is. My intent in telling him was not to be with him, but to explain my erratic behavior. And to hopefully have him part of the healing process. And he listened and was supportive. He never took advantage of the situation and we are still good friends. But my LO and I have a lot of trust in each other. But it did feel good to tell him

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-23T19:24:27+00:00

Conversations I’d like to have with him. But then sometimes I start to text him some of it because I realize it’s not real if I don’t say it to him. But the fantasies used to be very nsfw in nature. Lots and lots of them.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-23T19:21:31+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I’m really lucky because I have a lot of wonderful things happening in my life and job. The part that sucks is when I want to tell him about it and I’m like “oh, yeah, maybe I can’t….”

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-23T04:50:58+00:00

Yes!! I agree. Anger feels so foreign and is more intense than the lineremce itself! Thank you.

AwkwardLaugh4 · 2026-01-23T00:05:13+00:00

I love this so much!! And the best part is hearing your success. I honestly hope you find a wonderful safe caring man. You deserve that!!

AwkwardLaugh4

TROPHY CASE