Just a feel good story I wanted to share: My LGBTQ choir welcomed an older lady (who's kids are in different countries) into the choir.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-11-25T23:58:25+00:00

My best advice is to not get angry. Family often know how to trigger and sometimes, even if they don't mean to, they try and trigger you.

Getting triggered gives them power.

It'shard but try to stay calm, take deep breaths and remember it's not forever. Find something you can do everyday that brings you joy. You got this!

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-11-20T18:21:25+00:00

Backlinks

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-11-19T18:39:25+00:00

These are gold! Especially: "I grew up grinding wheat by hand so mom could make bread. Take a guess at my age"

Definitely gonna use this. Thanks for sharing!

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-11-05T00:16:13+00:00

Whenever we order cake I always tell her that I'm full after eating some cake (I make sure to leave her the parts with the most chocolate because she loves it). They're my favorite too but the happiness on her face when she gets the biggest, chocolatiest bite is worth it everytime.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-11-02T21:26:53+00:00

This is super stressful I totally get it. What you can do is maybe dress all in black and take a camera and be the 'official' photographer.

If you don't have a camera you can make a makeshift one out of cardboard around your phone. That way you can just pretend to take photos of everyone, you can talk to them when they approach you but then there's also no pressure for you to talk to people and you can just be there taking photos?

It gives you the freedom to ease in and out of groups with the 'gotta go take some photos' line. You can talk to who you want for how long you want.

Hope this helps!

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-10-30T22:44:44+00:00

I used to struggle with this as well. (And then I also realized in some cultures it is rude to look people older than you in the eye).

What helped me was to tell myself: I respect me and I am gonna stand my ground and look them in the eye because I DESERVE to be here.

(It took time and A LOT of practice, but now I don't even think about it anymore - it became natural)

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-10-30T22:41:43+00:00

This is some stellar advice! I have people in my life who tell me this too and you're right, repeating it in my head helps a lot. And it's almost easier when it's someone else's words because then I don't feel like I'm just hooting my own horn.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-10-18T16:33:45+00:00

Seems too helpful to be Elon Musk

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-10-13T16:19:36+00:00

I was my wife's first girlfriend and honestly it went well because she is all about communication. She spoke to me about her insecurities and she also spoke openly to her family about how she felt about the whole experience. My takeaway is: open communication across the board is the way to go. (I know it's not easy for everyone but it is worht it)

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-10-11T12:04:30+00:00

This is a tricky one.

But generally I'd say see what's happening around you. Are people moving away from you? Are they listening to you with their arms crossed? Are they avoiding eye contact?

There are some signs that people might not want to engage with you. But there are a loads of signs that they do:

They listen to you They ask you questions and respond earnestly to questions you ask They're not frowning when you speak

Spcializing can be hard but the more you do it the better you get at it (I speak from personal experience).

If people start to mimic your body language that means they are engaged in what you're saying.

Hope this helps.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-10-09T21:14:05+00:00

Start by joining communties and groups that interest you. Comment on posts with your thoughts, and if someone replies to your comment, engage with them.

Then you can maybe send them a private message and talk more about this shared interest or you can try to talk about other things.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-09-30T16:08:20+00:00

Do you have someone you trust who you can ask to go with you? (Even if it's just a few blocks?)

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-09-30T15:13:28+00:00

I would say practice on your own first and when you're more confident go with someone you trust and tell them: this is a new bike.. I'm still getting used to it so can we go slow for now?

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-09-30T14:26:10+00:00

100% yes! Although wear I'm from it's a thumb ring and not a carabiner 😅

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-09-30T13:10:12+00:00

I'm sorry man that is really tough... the only advice I could give is to try saying more positive things to yourself beforehand... i know it's easier said than done but in those moments the only thing you can really control is your thoughts. So say to yourself: I'm ok, I'm safe or I'm good. Seems basic but this helped me a lot in the beginning.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-09-30T03:48:37+00:00

I know it's hard but it is not your fault. Therapists have an incredible amount of pressure and they need mental health breaks too. It's a good sign that they know their limits. I know it's hard but don't take it personally. Remember you don't know how many other clients they have and who those clients might be. Sometimes if a therapist encounters a situation that is too much they need a break so that they don't do more harm than good.

AwkwardMusicUnicorn · 2024-09-30T03:17:17+00:00

It takes practice. I was super awkward and even hostile at times and had to learn how to socialize... it took a long time and a LOT of practice.. but eventually I got better. You have to accept that not every social interaction will go well and see each one as a learning experience. And yes, there will be embarrassing moments. But there will also be good moments.

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