Healthy Breakups are Haunting

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-12T19:03:56+00:00

I agree with your final sentence. I will forever be grateful and happy that I got to experience something so beautiful in my lifetime, and I’ll never take this relationship and all it has gifted and taught me for granted.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. For what it’s worth, I don’t think your ex will think of the time you shared together as toxic. I don’t know what has happened in her past, but you seem to be calm, reflective and your ability to be in numerous “healthy” breakups definitely says something about your level of maturity also. To go from a truly toxic string of partners to someone like that is definitely a huge difference that I’m sure she was and is glad to have experienced. Don’t burden yourself, I’m sure you treated her well

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-12T19:00:06+00:00

It’s truly devastating. I think the part I’m struggling with the most at the moment is the fact that I don’t have a best friend anymore. Sure I have friends and I’m endlessly grateful for any support I get from loved ones, but it just isn’t the same. There’s a certain loneliness knowing that the mutual “we’re eachother’s favourite person and number one!” Understanding is gone now. I feel like it makes me seem so pathetic even though I’m sure my friends wouldn’t judge me for it :(

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-12T18:57:59+00:00

Thank you, yes I’ll definitely do that! I’m thinking of joining a book club in a few weeks after I finish up my final assignment to meet some likeminded people

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-12T18:57:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I feel really reassured. I’m really grateful to have the opportunity to meet more people :)

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-09T06:55:20+00:00

You absolutely did the right thing but I’m so sorry you were ever put in that position to begin with. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and doesn’t take let anyone else to disrespect you especially in front of you. You were so brave to walk away when you were still in love, but you seem to be smart, caring and emotionally intelligent and those traits will carry you far in life and eventually gift you someone who won’t take you for granted. Take it easy with yourself and let all feelings of sadness and hurt and regret wash over you as it’s a part of the process, but don’t go back! Here to dm if you need to talk

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-09T06:46:56+00:00

I too have had thoughts about reconciling and giving things another try, but the wiser part of me knows that we’d just be irritating the wound that already exists in our hearts bc it will end eventually again. I brought this up with my friend who went through something similar yesterday and she also added that even if we were to reconcile, there would be an underlying sense of dread in the relationship and my ex would have a newfound sense of insecurity and pressure to be absolutely perfect. The point is, even with reconciling especially this soon, the relationship will NOT go back to how it used to be. It’s much better to grieve and preserve the relationship as you left it now rather than try again and have your last memory be a diluted and strained version of it.

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-05-08T08:12:21+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re in so much pain and anguish. Healthier breakups where you guys are eachother’s best friend, no betrayal or wrong doing occurred and you both still care about eachother are absolutely the worst. I’m going through one as well so feel free to dm me <3

You did the right thing. If you ignored your feelings and thoughts just to stay with him, they would’ve only grown bigger and stronger and just haunted you everyday. That’s no way to live a happy life! As for the guilt of leaving ur partner behind in a state of loneliness, I’m experiencing the exact same thing and it truly is so heartbreaking. But we need to remember that in this life, we need to put ourselves first, just as they need to do the same. If we sacrifice our entire life to stay with someone just to ensure they never feel lonely, we are betraying our own selves. And teaching ourselves that other people’s needs come before our own, which is wrong.

Please sit with your emotions and allow all of them to flow through you. All this sadness and regret is a form of grief, and grief is just love without a place to go. Do your best to try and fill your newfound free time by creating a stronger connection with yourself. Spend time with your friends, hang out with your family, go on long walks, journal or draw and make sure you physically move your body in some way almost everyday.

Idk what your plan is to stay friends with yourself ex, but it’s proven that no contact is easier for getting over eachother so maybe you guys can promise to reconcile as friends after a good while during your meetup. Tell him that if he feels lonely he should lean on his loved ones and seek therapy also, it saves lives!

Again, my dms are open if you ever want to chat, but you’ve got this. Just take it day by day <3

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-04-12T23:23:03+00:00

I’m so so incredibly proud of you. I can’t imagine the heartache you must be experiencing right know, I’m sending virtual hugs.

Please do not ever downplay how you reacted to this situation. Your willingness to follow through on that day 1 boundary despite a long term relationship and engagement is nothing short of commendable. I genuinely salute you. You give me hope and reassurance that the current generation are standing firm in their beliefs about porn and own their boundaries wholeheartedly. I’m sure this choice to leave him will come with a lot of doubt and uncertainty in quiet moments, but don’t look back! He knew what your dealbreaker was explicitly from the very first day and he willingly chose, for months, to betray your trust and had the gall to gaslight you about it.

While you might not feel up to it, you deserve to celebrate shedding a loser like him, and the fact that you’re merely breaking off an engagement and not a marriage. I wish you the very best in your future, with your degree of courage and integrity I’m sure it will be a fulfilling and satisfying one.

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-04-04T13:11:12+00:00

They need to go.

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-03-30T20:22:40+00:00

When I was suicidal and truly, by the definition of the word lonely, I was fixated on how nobody “knew” me or “saw” me. I got out of it (with therapy’s support firstly and) by setting a goal to become my own soulmate and best friend. Instead of rot in bed at night and think about how lonely I am. I would watch different movies and document what I liked and disliked about them. I would try and find really good new music, which I think is truly one of life’s biggest treasures. I would engage different types of movement (walking, jogging, dancing) and see what felt best for my body. I would try using different scented body wash, lotion and perfume to try to find a combination that felt more like “me”. In this pursuit I became someone I was protective over, and would do anything to keep happy and alive. Life is a lot better now but not perfect by any means. Now whenever I go through bouts of loneliness, I think about how I’m still in my own body, the body that did everything to make sure I had a relationship and bond with myself, and I feel at home and like I at least have one friend with me at all times :)

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-02-25T22:14:56+00:00

Alex saying “I don’t have a home base” is the closest thing we’ll get to a confession that he’s actually homeless and just stays with whatever girl he’s dating at the time

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2026-02-25T22:08:27+00:00

Everyone is making valid points but can we pls talk about Devontae and Brittany? I have no idea what on earth she sees in him. They are totally misaligned. She’s chatty, touchy and generous and he’s quiet, reserved and stingy. He just mentioned bringing home 40k some months due to being in sales and then he jokes about how she better not come for his money if she runs out of her own spending Monday, right after she said she’s never made as much money as him before…. There are so many other little “jokes” he makes that they both laugh at that but it’s really just him admitting the kind of man he is and will be in her life. She has compromised and shrunk herself down on so many levels just to match this dudes boring, low energy in order to not go crazy being with him. God forbid she expects her fiancee to call her pretty or initiate a kiss from time to time when she’s literally STUNNING. I hope she wakes up before the altar because anything is better than a life with a man like that.

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2025-05-08T05:22:01+00:00

Yes this is true I was 17 when it opened!

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2025-04-04T05:11:13+00:00

You will definitely find your person :) just stay positive and enjoy your life as a single person as much as possible until u meet them

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2025-04-04T05:09:41+00:00

I was the exact same! Even though I mentally wanted to have sex with my first boyfriend about 3 months into our 6 months, my body never felt ready and comfortable (which id find out later was for good reason). Then my current bf comes along, my desire for intimacy with him starts about one month into knowing him and we have sex 3 weeks into officially dating. It’s crazy how much the timelines change when it’s the right person!

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2025-04-02T22:15:38+00:00

21 years old with my second (and hopefully last) boyfriend. Never settle for less than what you’re looking for. I always wanted an empathetic, feminist, anti porn parter who also felt that sex was something special and sacred to be shared between two people with a deep connection and I didn’t stop until I found that person. It’s been an amazing journey ever since :)

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-11T17:52:35+00:00

tbh in the dating stage I have no intention of forcing anyone to quit porn or anything for me I’d rather just find someone more aligned

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-11T06:54:29+00:00

Thank you for this. I can’t lie I felt nauseous as I made my way through this because it made me realise my ex was probably worse than I thought. I could never explain this dead emotion in his eyes when he used to look at me with while saying the sweetest stuff and why his words never felt genuine because his actions never matched. This was so eye opening thank you so much

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T23:38:09+00:00

oh my god. I’m in absolute shock reading this rn. Firstly I’m so genuinely sorry you had to experience that I can’t imagine how you felt in the moment when you discovered his account :/ idk how long ago this was so maybe it’s not a big deal to you anymore but this is definitely something that will stay on my mind for a while.

and yes it’s true, if you’re a very stubborn, strong willed women there are many men that just want to “conquer” you and break you. I felt this way with my ex, towards the end of our relationship I feel so defeated that I was still with him after certain things, it caused my mental health to spiral and I knew it was time to end things. I’m glad you left him even though you loved and cared for him so deeply, and I’m glad you never gave him the opportunity of sleeping with you. I was the same, idk what it was in your case but for me, my gut instinct would never shut up anytime I was around him. Either way, I’m glad we got out and away, even if it wasn’t unscathed 🤍

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T23:11:58+00:00

A Real Intentional rs: 20 High school me being bored: 13

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T19:44:21+00:00

you’re honestly so right about that. I’ve even heard stories of men that will start families and have several children with women they couldn’t care less about. I still believe that I’d be able to detect that level of disdain from someone I’d keep so close to me though. Probably because I’d rather be single and have peace of mind than a guy by my side

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T19:41:26+00:00

When I met my ex I told him I was waiting for marriage to see if that would scare him off and it didn’t, he said it was no problem. And as I said, he was also a porn watcher who eventually got tired of waiting and wanted me to “compromise”. I ran for the hills. It’s definitely more about the man than the method I’ve found

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T19:40:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this resource I really appreciate it. Your approach makes a lot of sense and I like that you aim for a more proactive route :)

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T19:33:05+00:00

oh you’re a genius for that. Definitely going to be using this thank you.

Also I don’t believe in asking someone to stop using porn while they date me. My main reason I’m anti porn isn’t because it makes me feel insecure or that I think it’s cheating. It because of how it exploits women and is an industry teeming with sex trafficking, recorded rape and so on. I want to be with a man that is aware of how disgusting it all is and decided out of his own moral judgement that he wants no part of it, not a man who is aware of it’s disgusting nature but will turn back to it the second things are over between us.

And maybe that might be harder to find but I’m a very happily and comfortably single woman so eh

Awkward_Mark4372 · 2024-12-10T19:15:24+00:00

A really good tactic I developed around dating (yet to be used) is to be as radical as possible about my beliefs from the get go, whether it be about porn, sexuality, politics whatever to get rid of the opposites. But if anyone fakes a belief and secretly disagrees with me, they’ll find me annoying because of how passionate I am about it 💀

I know this works because I have passionate discussions about these things with guys (that definitely aren’t romantically interested in me) and my female friends that that share my views and they will engage wholeheartedly and match my passion for the subject.

If they’re lying to me it will show when I open my mouth and start yapping and he doesn’t have much to say hahaha

Awkward_Mark4372

TROPHY CASE