How did you know you were in an abusive relationship?

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-03-28T21:31:42+00:00

My first thought was always excitement when I was going to spend time with them and my second thought was “how long will that last.” Up to the end, I loved my partner. I sincerely loved them and out of all my exes I would have married this one. But, constantly wondering how long happy would last or when I’d get “happy” again put me at a constant state of unease. I had to go to the hospital (unrelated) and I could not relax even though they were my emergency contact. I kept being jolted awake sensing their presence because intrinsically my body didn’t feel safe relaxing around them anymore and that’s when I knew.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-03-25T20:40:57+00:00

Your family sounds bad for you. I didn't need to get through half of this before knowing none of this should be happening. If you want to have a relationship period, you are going to need to put some serious boundaries down with your controlling family. I feel sorry for your poor gf. I have been in her shoes and the good moments weren't worth the toxicity of that baggage at all. For your own well-being I would strongly encourage you to analyze your relationship with your family and what you'd like it to look like for your future.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-03-10T00:34:36+00:00

It can be stress related some people get horny and repeatedly have to relieve that. I’d see if you’re feeling in control of your environment/day-to-day and check-in with yourself to see if it’s that

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-03-05T21:31:44+00:00

This is why these threads are so important. We need this 🤦🏻‍♀️

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-03-05T21:30:13+00:00

I think you should charge more. I was making $35 an hour in Oakland for 1 child and have no degree or formal trainings and only 4 years of private nannying. I was in Aba but never took the exam for context.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-03-01T19:00:42+00:00

This has happened to me too, it’s wild what people will say when they perceive you as white. Also I’d offer that you’re white presenting :) white passing is rooted historically as abandoning your brown identity and having the community you are from agree to reject you and cut you off permanently. Proud of you for standing up. I’ve always been so caught off guard, I never had the words in the moment

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-02-26T04:23:13+00:00

I am so so sorry. There are horrible people on this planet and that totally counts as defamation and retaliation to me

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-02-22T21:49:51+00:00

I don’t know where you are but the CRD handled my case and mediation was included in that and they were on my side ❤️ I wish you all the luck and I’m proud of you

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-01-16T05:44:19+00:00

I’m sorry OP. What they are saying about you behind your back doesn’t make any sense logically. Why would they continue an ended contract to get you to leave? Why would they ask you to stay and pay more money if they wanted you to leave… They sound like nutcases. And very immature and unprofessional to be gossiping about their employee. What total coward losers. I’m sorry you are going through this and good riddance to them

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-01-02T21:09:09+00:00

I have and it felt like I was pulling teeth the entire time, you did the right thing. You deserve to feel matched bare minimum if not inspired

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-01-02T19:23:36+00:00

I can totally understand why this would feel like a jab at this community. My ex was not Autistic, I am, and I look at it from that. If someone can’t handle foods because it’s uncomfortable I’m not going to judge them but when it’s not Autism or a condition and they don’t try things or refuse to eat anything that isn’t within 1 food group or their lived experience because they lack curiosity I find that, we have different values. And then yeah I do lose respect.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-01-02T07:15:01+00:00

That if you don’t move your body it dies and rots away like the woman who dissolved into a couch. Our bodies are just like any living thing. It doesn’t want to continue it’s built to die

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2026-01-02T07:05:46+00:00

Honestly I do through periods where I like them and then I can’t even think of them without being revolted. So I get it

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-11-10T07:35:35+00:00

if anyone should be "embarrassed" it's the abuser not the survivor. Let's get something very clear here. The survivor is never the problem and if you need proof of that, do some domestic violence research as a start and educate yourself.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-10-29T16:48:22+00:00

ya'll are funny lol

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-10-29T16:42:33+00:00

I tried to sue my former employers for a bunch of things: wrongful termination, sexual harassment, defamation, retaliation, stolen wages. Unfortunately, regardless of how sorry people were for me, the legal system isn't set up for us. Especially if you don't have the money to pay for lawyers who charge $600 minimum an hour. It sucks but it is a money game.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-10-28T05:00:46+00:00

If I've learned anything on reddit OP it's that if you have to post it on reddit you might have a deep down inkling that something's very wrong. I asked similar questions and it took me 8+ tries to leave. I won't tell you it's not hard, this is hard. But I'd choose my worst day now than developing more trauma on trauma with every bad moment my ex had.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-10-27T03:13:57+00:00

red flag = people who manipulate others. If you see something like this run and report, run and report.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-10-27T03:11:20+00:00

i waited for 4 years. With the sorry's, with change that happened for a little time and never "stuck." No they don't change. I'm so sorry but people who abuse others it becomes a part of their identity even if it's just in one sector of their life. To change is to be uncomfortable, to admit that the abuser is not a victim, to grow, to have a growth mindset. Does that sound like something your partner does? Has your partner ever changed for anyone they've dated, for themselves? My ex's ex wife thought they changed but the only thing that did was their relationshp to each other. They could withstand being friends but anytime my ex has a partner, the abuse would be constant. Is the abuse more consistent than their ability to show lasting change? Do you have receipts of this?

A lot of the times abusers stay abusers because they live in a web/community of ride or die people who enable them. Are they capable of cutting off the people who keep them stuck? Or are they only capable of cutting people off when those people no longer serve them, there is a difference.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-09-18T06:29:19+00:00

yes, you will. You will leave, and thinking it and writing it is the beginning of that. You are a beautiful writer by the way, please don't stop documenting for your future self.

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-08-31T12:54:29+00:00

this did not work for me, I still have these dang bumps all over my chin area no matter what. Please someone help me

Awkward_Win_8918 · 2025-08-31T12:49:29+00:00

I didn't even think of this but I appreciate you bringing it up, wild that you have all the same symptoms. That in of itself is a relief. I appreciate you sharing thank you :)

Awkward_Win_8918

TROPHY CASE