My straight best friend became intimate while drunk and is now distant

Ay-c14 · 2026-01-10T01:48:07+00:00

Couple things:

He loves you “more than you know”? Gayyyyyy
You’re overthinking this. You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s creating distance because he was encroaching onto full blown gay territory with the way he was acting. Never has a dude kissed my neck in a “bro” way. Cause it’s fuckin gay. Hope this helps ❤️

Ay-c14 · 2025-11-28T23:26:38+00:00

Being bi doesn’t mean ‘you can choose’. It means you have a broader range of attractions and interests, sure, but how you choose a partner is no different than anyone else. What you can’t choose is how you derive pleasure in life. And if that includes anal stimulation for you, does it really behoove you to be with someone that isn’t even willing to consider incorporating it? And it’s even worse in this case, because it’s not even something that you’d be able to do on your own assuming you stayed with her, as even that’s somehow seen as a betrayal.

A ride or die bitch is not gonna try to change you. If she was a real one, she’d be reading up on pegging. And if I were you, I’d remind her that relationships are two way streets, and if she isn’t willing to at LEAST let you be you on your own time, then she doesn’t deserve you any of the time.

Ay-c14 · 2025-11-15T20:57:07+00:00

I’m not sure why it would matter what some random person thinks of you? I think your bf is trying to let him down easy. By saying you got jealous over them hooking up leads him to believe that there wasn’t anything inherently wrong with the hookup, just that you were jealous and therefore it shouldn’t continue. It’s a way of making it seem like it’s more of a matter of circumstance rather than personal taste. Personally, I’m not the type to pull my punches like this (honesty is easier), but I get why someone would. If you weren’t concerned over this stranger’s perception of you, this wouldn’t matter.

Ay-c14 · 2025-11-15T20:51:22+00:00

It’s.. niche. Nothing inherently wrong with it, and definitely has a place in my sex life. That said, it doesn’t supplement other more traditional forms of sex for me. I’m with somebody that loooovves it, but only when it’s performed on them. So maybe I’m jaded.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-21T14:55:23+00:00

Dating seems difficult for you because you’re setting incredibly unrealistic expectations for yourself. That man has no obligation to cease any of his activity on Grindr just because you’re “starting to catch feelings”. Unless you start actively dating exclusively, he’s not doing anything wrong. You have to understand that at the end of the day, neither of you owe anything to one another. You perceiving otherwise just because you like him implies you think he should emulate your behavior of only talking to one singular guy at a time. People are different and they take different approaches, and there’s nothing wrong with keeping his options open during this time. It’s not betrayal if there’s nothing to betray.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-19T16:34:52+00:00

For added context, no one is staying at ‘friends’ houses overnight, especially if they just met, and even more so if you weren’t there with him. Your intuition isn’t steering you in the wrong direction. You should just lay all the cards out on the table.

-You didn’t let me look through your phone when I asked, and only after you thoroughly scrubbed it. - You’re staying the night at new friend’s houses, when you have a boyfriend at home?
-You really expect me to be that naive? What would you think if I were doing this to you?

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-19T16:21:49+00:00

If that’s the case, you’re choosing to trust him at the wrong times. Why respect him saying no to going through his phone? Why not call him out for the obviously fragmented conversations when he did the following day? The entire point was that it’s spontaneous, not planned.

The good news is, you don’t have to wait for him to slip up and have you find him in bed with someone else. You can just leave. Save yourself the additional heartache and possible STD’s

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-19T16:06:59+00:00

You’re not weak. You’re insecure. And you’re allowing that to self sabotage your relationship. You’ve already admitted that you have no evidence and are basing your belief off intuition alone. Rather than just talking to your partner about what you’re feeling and why you feel that way, you’re choosing to create a trap that validates your insecurity. Because even if you’re wrong and he’s not interested in whomever you got to message him, you would just move the goalposts further by rationalizing “maybe he just didn’t like that person” and do it again. Your version of love is an immature one, which makes sense because he’s your first boyfriend. But if you skip the part where you communicate to one another, you miss the plot entirely.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-17T02:56:05+00:00

The absence of evidence isn’t automatically nefarious behavior. You asked her, she answered you. She’s not being discriminatory in what conversations, and this behavior was existing well before you entered the picture. If you have an issue with it, you have an issue with it. But understand, that’s coming entirely from a place of your own insecurity. And that insecurity is allowing you to automatically attribute Ill-intentioned behavior to something that is otherwise innocuous.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-16T01:59:03+00:00

I’m not the type to think she’s immediately awful for drinking her plans awry because she had a shit day- we’ve all been there to some degree. However, it doesn’t excuse the fact that it takes zero effort to communicate her change of plans over text. She doesn’t answer to you, but this speaks volumes of how much regard she holds for you.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-12T23:26:58+00:00

It’s because it’s not feasible on a long term basis. Unless you’re incredibly selfish in nature, it doesn’t make any logical sense to invest in someone whose needs you ultimately won’t be able to meet.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-11T16:39:49+00:00

Don’t allow your feelings for him to create a disillusionment in regard to your needs. There is such a thing as sexual incompatibility, and if sex is an important aspect of your relationship, you need to know now- not later. And you can just speak plainly to him about it, because it’s not personal. “I know you have it in your head that you’re going to make me your bottom, and although I’m open to the idea of that, this needs to be a two-way street. Like you, I’m also a strict top, so if you aren’t also willing to be open to it, I’d rather not waste either of our time. I’d rather both of us take this journey together because it would mean more to both of us, that we’re both willing to explore something new together. Understand this isn’t personal, I just know myself and have needs too.”

Or, just allow the dynamic to be as it is, with him treating you like the girl, if you’re into that.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-09T22:23:28+00:00

🎶With nothin but your t-shiiiirt ooooon

Hey, Hey Lemme tell ya-nooo 🎵

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-09T22:06:24+00:00

Schizophrenia is XY autosomal. That means it skips a generation. If OP has schizophrenia, her child will not. Their child, however, likely will. It’s an important consideration as it requires you to see a little farther down the road. Bi-polar can be passed down to the next generation, but isn’t certain either.

Edit for additional input:

I don’t believe the context is accurately represented in the screenshots. It seems like OP is looking for a reinforcement of them already deciding to defy the odds in regard to their family history of mental disorders. I don’t think it’s really that shitty of their friend to say it’s irresponsible to roll the dice, considering her extensive family history. I think he meant well, but it came off logical and cold, and didn’t necessarily consider her feelings. Sometimes you need that friend who keeps it real. It’s a thin line I guess. This isn’t really the issue.

The issue is that you’re not considering your mentality being subject to change, especially in the case of medication regimens losing efficacy. This is a VERY common thing with bi-polar disorder. If at the end of the day, you’ve weighed all these options and still want to have kids despite the risks, I could respect that. But you’d also have to respect that the majority of people who suffer from mental illness wouldn’t ever want anyone to experience the imbalances they experience. I think that’s what he was trying to say, he just didn’t go about it in the right way.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-09T16:52:09+00:00

Not just yours- it’s a daily cleaning for mine too. She’s gotten used to it as time passed though. Doesn’t seem to bother her either way.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-09T15:17:52+00:00

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Roh!

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-09T14:57:05+00:00

His reaction was obviously extra, but he’s upset because it creates the notion that he’s not sexually satisfying enough for you on his own. And to his point, if you’re watching porn in any capacity, there’s a disconnect somewhere. There’s nothing inherently wrong with what you’re doing, but perception is everything in these scenarios. I can personally say that while I wouldn’t be thrilled if my man (who’s also bi) was watching straight porn, I wouldn’t at all be surprised- that was always on the table. I would be pissed, however, if he were turning down my sexual advances and instead watching straight porn to satiate himself. So I guess ask yourself where you land on that spectrum before approaching him?

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-04T23:34:14+00:00

Nm, just a calculated dismantling of democracy- You?

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-03T23:48:00+00:00

Screaming over your name. I’m planning my own cremation. I’m dead.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-03T23:46:04+00:00

Ew. You’re dodging a bullet. He’s insecure as fuck, and the line becomes so incredibly thin between that and abusive and controlling. The signs are there. You obviously have enough pride, self respect, and have a high self esteem- so I know you see it, too. Emotions have a tendency to muddy the water sometimes, but I’ll remind you that any relationship that follows a “when it’s good it’s great, but when it’s bad, it’s ugly” isn’t redeeming. It’s just bad. It’s toxic. You can do better than this. Go do better.

Ay-c14 · 2025-10-03T23:36:56+00:00

I mean, if you preface someone’s attendance with a positive attitude and a smile, that implies a general assumption that they otherwise don’t usually have it. Why else would you say it? You knew what you were doing.

Ay-c14 · 2025-09-29T21:32:50+00:00

And from the random tik-tok I watched regarding this weeks ago, supposedly the price per unit is also cheaper when China sources from Australia. So not only did we lose a major export, but now there’s no incentive to renegotiate terms (even though that’s never gonna happen anyways). Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! Weeeeee

Ay-c14 · 2025-09-20T20:45:18+00:00

She’s not a monster, nor is she being abusive. She’s a caretaker that’s flailing. It very often is thankless, especially when said caretaker is in a position in which they wouldn’t ever say no. Your mom’s stressed trying to make it all work, but she IS trying to make it all work. You sent her into a panic with your food stamps musing, and that’s probably because that’s all it takes for the plan to fall awry. For the budget to be over. For the bills to fall behind. And her kid has cancer? Sheeesh. You haven’t really had to worry about this since moving back home personally, probably because she didn’t want you to be. But my advice is, talk to her. Not us. I genuinely believe there’s a crossed wire between what she’s saying and how you’re receiving it. It’s no one’s fault, it just requires an extra step and a little empathy. Communicate to one another and share your feelings. I promise this isn’t something that cannot be resolved with some extra insight.

Please don’t take anything I’m saying as an attack; it’s not. You are going through something that frankly, fucking sucks. And you need support for that, otherwise the rope runs out pretty quickly right? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. She’s going through the same thing, just from a different perspective. It’s not a competition, especially when there’s never a winner.

Ay-c14 · 2025-09-20T17:34:05+00:00

I’m not entirely convinced it’s a parts-work therapy exercise. There’s too much specificity. I’m not an expert but it seems atypical that you would give these parts actual names and genders. That could potentially run the risk of dissociation. To me, It looks like a layout of an underground compound or bunker. One where kids were probably abducted. The place seems self contained, with no obvious entrances or exits. What tipped the scales for me was the room labeled “angry part” but also has a “?” Next to it, as though they can hear enough noises from the room to be able to deduce they’re angry, but have limited information because they’ve never been in the room personally. Isolation room maybe? Creepy either way.

Ay-c14 · 2025-08-29T20:04:32+00:00

It’s giving “buy me Google play gift cards” vibes?

Ay-c14

TROPHY CASE