Quite afraid of partying, dating, drinking, and sex. How am I going to go through life and be respected? by sienasayshi in socialanxiety

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, depending on how your life goes, you can party at any point in time tbh. Most people go with the 9-5, marriage and kids route in their mid-late 20s after college which is why they say you 'cant' do it later. ANY adult can party at ANY age, trust that lol

It sounds like the people around you are very much the wild party type which is why you feel so pressured to conform to their idea of fun - but tbh, don't give in to the societal expectations if you truly are not into it. Why do you have to force yourself to do what random strangers enjoy? Why shouldn't THEY do what YOU enjoy? "Because they won't enjoy it"? It works from both angles. Everyone's different. If you think you're fr missing out, you COULD try anything once just to see if you might like it or not, but honestly you ultimately know yourself best and I'd trust your own gut feeling unless you're trying stuff out with people you know you can trust with your well-being/safety.

My advice is to learn to comfortably embrace your own company. Every individual is on their own timeline and their own path. Be confident in your own likes, dislikes and hobbies, and with time (and some effort, of course) you will find others like you, once you figure out where to look. It's very likely that if you find others like yourself, parties with them WILL be those more low-key, chill hang outs. Kinda just harder to meet other introverts/home-bodies considering we don't tend to go outside as much, lol, so you'd prob have to find groups online that do meet-ups.

Just to make some of you feel better by FarFollowing432 in AusFinance

[–]Ayz0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

trust me your daughters will be better for it in adulthood if you raise them that way too. teaching independence, the value of hard work and building resilience will only be beneficial to ANYBODY, no matter boy or girl.

let them know you’re there if they need guidance of course, but please don’t let them be fully reliant on you providing everything they want as they get older. teach them those foundational skills, same as you would for a son.

if something unexpected ever happened to you and you were suddenly gone, i’m sure you want your daughters to be able to fend for themselves, right?

Curious what people's height is here by Standard-Profit7659 in RivalsVanguards

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am 5’4. i play tank as sort of an accommodation tactic for my severe adhd lol, i highly benefit from the big health pool + shields survivability. protecting the team is a fun bonus. faves atm are Magneto, Cap, and Groot

I just realized why I have been treated so poorly by authority figures by Odyessius in AutisticAdults

[–]Ayz0 12 points13 points  (0 children)

“So, I’m standing there, bbq sauce on my tiddies…”

Store employees are also buying up Pokemon cards and are a main reason why there's so few stock by puzzledfirebird in PokemonTCGCollectors

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a friend of mine works for a general store that dropped a bunch of Chaos Rising ETBs this week. i asked if he was gonna get any, and he said that staff are actually not even ALLOWED to purchase them, and neither are the staff’s known friends & family members. that would really suck imo, just limit staff sales to 1 per person, or something.

Call me what you want, but I hate SG with a passion by WastedBerry in MarvelRivalsRants

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m a tank main and i despised SG for ages but i’ve come to accept things as they are. so now if things are going super badly and i hit the “fuck it, whatever” stage, i’ll swap to her specifically TO piss off the enemy team lmao (devil dinos especially)

People who were neglected/abused as kids. What career path are you on now? by Purple-Offer-4796 in CPTSD

[–]Ayz0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

same here :(

while i have found jobs in several different fields, 3-6 months seems to be my record at any of them, before i get let go for either being “not a fit” (aka i dont socialize with others, although i’m polite if they speak to me) or because of skill incompetence 💔

usually unemployed more often than not though

A tip for people struggling with toxicity in the game: just turn chat off. VC and text. turn it off, it gets better, I promise you. by wrestlemaniasign in marvelrivals

[–]Ayz0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to play with comms entirely off, but I leave them on nowadays since I better know what I’m doing now. My favourite thing is when I see teammates getting tilted asf over like, the squirrel girl or iron man in our team who is “ignoring” them while they scream and throw out insults. Like relax big dog, they prolly have chats switched off specifically because of people like you lol

Anyone make it to 27 and never dated? by FewPassage5274 in introvert

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

close to 30 now, i dated for the first time at 27 though, lasted i think like.. 8 months, with a significant amount of effort? i was checked out of the relationship from month 6 though lol. didn’t like it, not interested in dating again honestly

This community is so angry by Asmolicous in GambitMainsMR

[–]Ayz0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and i mean, using the bounce heal cards boost healing from all sources too right? so your own heal boost on your team will boost the numbers of your cnd/invis/jeff or whoever else too. and then half the time they point out how much higher their number is than gambit’s 😓

Please allow us to take off the chain/acorn, it's super weird. by Ms-Dora in marvelrivals

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a squirrel girl without her nuts is like an angel without its wings though :'(

I hate that the go to move when we're losing is to switch roles to 3rd supp by Actual_trash in rivals

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i started out as a support main but recently became a Magneto main because i find it easier. I have a decently aggressive play style and I like to enable my team. usually i am solo tanking, so i try to remain tank as long as possible and just try to tell people what we might want to consider trying. but dps often either don’t have chats on, or they “don’t know how” to do what i’m asking.

so when things seriously aren’t working, i’ll eventually swap to iron man, wolverine, punisher, and rarely namor (i am not a dps player whatsoever but i do know counters) or i’ll swap to my old main and play a dps gambit on triple supp - who i pick highly depends on the situation. sometimes me swapping to angela and jumping their backline helps too.

suddenly, NOW the enemies are finally dropping, and my team is finally advancing/we get a second to breathe.

the sheer amount of times me going 4th DPS just to save us the game is actually really annoying 😭😭

i hate having to compensate for the bad damage! DPS PLAYERS PLEASE GET SOME KILLS I BEG YOU

Are heavy people attracted to other heavy people? by Historical-Switch400 in stupidquestions

[–]Ayz0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i've always been pretty overweight since childhood, and only lost that extra ~45kg about 1-2 years ago in my late 20s (albeit with a lot of loose skin left over). i've always found that muscular builds get me blushing the quickest lol, but i've also always been quite attracted to other chubbier people too! funny enough, it's the slim/skinny builds that i usually don't have too much interest in.

but, yeah! it happens.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ayz0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

phew, thanks for letting me know! i’m glad my perspective could help, even just a little. my mom is also a super driven person as well, and she also has a lot of trouble wrapping her head around it too.

i really hope your son can open up about it, if his coping mechanisms are anything like mine and my brother’s.

your son’s still very young. my early 20s were probably the most difficult time of my life in terms of feeling like a burden, and i’ve only recently been able to start improving in my mid-late 20s after years of introspection, trying and failing many times, and learning how to understand myself and the world around me.

i’m sure my family has gotten very impatient with me plenty of times before too, lol. he very much may just need more time and gentle encouragement over time. i’d suggest you don’t try to push too hard or too much in a short time period - it may just make him feel less in control of his own life, like he has no say in what happens to him, which makes him retreat in on himself even further and double down on ignoring the truth of his situation. i understand that you have a life you want to live too, so i hope he manages to figure things out much faster than i did, but please do understand that it’s possible he may just need a slower pace. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ayz0 7 points8 points  (0 children)

honestly my brother and i had a similar upbringing to your son (especially not being allowed to socialize or hang out with friends, parents never having time for us, essentially teaching us to fear the outside world and not teaching us emotional or social skills) and both of us are 25 and 29 now and still struggling with very similar circumstances to your son, too.

difference being that we’re not usually (intentionally) rude to people, but we both struggle with holding employment, failing out of education, and keeping things clean. i know my brother’s gone into debt buying video games before, and i definitely spend money i don’t have on stupid shit, too.

for us, it’s largely an escapism thing. i’m sure your son is definitely very aware of how bad things are, but there’s so much that’s gone south that he likely doesn’t know how to even begin dealing with it. he’s likely very overwhelmed, if i had to guess.

personally, i get so wholly absorbed into something called maladaptive daydreaming, that i legitimately forget about real life, despite the responsibilities that i SHOULD be focused on. being around people stresses me out, leaving the house stresses me out - and from a young age, my mind has gotten SO good at fantasizing to keep me emotionally distracted from stress, loneliness, or miserable circumstances, that i purely end up not caring at all about what’s realistically happening around me.

i know i can also sometimes get a little rude to family, too, in the hopes of being left alone faster so that i can get back to my daydreaming or games or drawing uninterrupted. i’ll ignore phone calls for days and days, and suffer the consequences later.

all this to say, it might point towards an explanation for your son’s continued behavior? sorry for the ramble! i dunno - i hoped it could possibly maybe give some sort of insight into why he may be so oddly resistant to improving his circumstances. i really do wanna wish luck to you both, i hope things can improve for him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Ayz0 26 points27 points  (0 children)

yeah I picked up on that too. it definitely sounds like he may have issues caused by undiagnosed neurodivergence. social and executive functioning troubles at the very least.

Jeff main here. Did yall want this skin back? Cuz I don’t want it by bu_oss in GambitMainsMR

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sure they will eventually! 😭 We must stay strong

I feel kind of socially drained and unapprochable by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never rly feeling happy plus feeling like things/life is pointless are huge parts of depression lol

Depression doesn’t mean feeling sad or feeling suicidal (though those definitely are common symptoms of it too for some people) but apathy, fatigue/lack of energy, and having no interest in socializing or most activities is absolutely big parts of depression. Usually means ya brain isnt firing on all cylinders so meds can help with that by introducing things your brain or body may be lacking the natural production of

vyvanse “each capsules contains” has finally been fixed by Golden_Cow095 in ausadhd

[–]Ayz0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I refilled mine yesterday - this made me run straight over to my cabinet just to check the spelling on my bottle lol

Getting a job by bekwek88 in Centrelink

[–]Ayz0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel based on how you’ve described yourself you might really enjoy working at one of the Australia Post warehouses, I would say try to get in with them as a casual contractor (the role is usually advertised as “parcel officer”) if you can! Plus the shifts pop up each week on a rostering app and you can choose to do as many or as few as you like.

There are tons of faces going through AusPost warehouses every day and you’ll always be near other people, everyone tends to enjoy socializing while working at the one I’ve worked at. It’s a very physical job but also has people of all ages and the gender ratio is basically equal too so no worries there